Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. The following are funny jokes I collected, hoping to help everyone.
Funny little joke story 1 A chief has a hobby of listening to stories. One day, he entertained his guests. At his repeated request, a foreign guest told a very interesting story:
The guest met a very pretentious person in the city. The guest said to him, "Please guess what I put in my pocket. If you guess right, I will give you half of these eggs; If you can guess the number of eggs, I will give you all ten eggs. "
The man thought for a long time and said, "friend, although I am not stupid, I can't know everything." I can't guess. "
The guest said, "Guess again, this thing is white outside and yellow inside." "I guessed it!" The man said loudly, "It must be a pile of white radishes with a potato hidden in the middle."
Hearing this, the guests all laughed, and the chief laughed even more. Finally he asked:
"That's a fool. Dear friend, now please tell us what's in your pocket? "
Funny little joke story 2 John and Mike bet two thousand dollars that he could dance with Madonna, and he really won. Then he bet that he could have dinner with Clinton, and Mike lost again. Finally, John made a bet that he could talk to the teacher.
The emperor attended a major religious ceremony together. At the ceremony, John stood with the Pope. In the distance, he saw a man beside Mike whispering to him, and Mike fainted on the ground.
Afterwards, Mike explained that I wasn't surprised that you were with Madonna, and there was nothing wrong with having dinner with Clinton, but when you and the Pope appeared, the person next to me asked me a question, and I was surprised.
I feel dizzy. He asked, "Who is the man next to John?"
Funny little joke story 3 There was an old farmer who kept more than twenty hens and a rooster. For several years, the rooster is a little old, and the fertilization rate of eggs can't come up. He wants to buy a young and strong cock from the market instead of the old one.
On this day, as expected, I brought back a little rooster with beautiful feathers, head held high, tall and straight, eyes full of gods, and its crown high into the clouds. As soon as the cock was thrown into the crowd, the old hens gathered around to show their concern. When the host saw it, he was very happy and proudly said, I still have a vision. The rooster was very popular and left.
The old chicken was very unhappy to see this situation. She came over and said, "Brother, welcome to your new home. You are so handsome, but you don't know how powerful you are chasing little girls. "
The rooster said without weakness, I am young and strong, and I am still the 100-meter champion at school.
Husband chicken said: Really? No wonder my muscles are so developed. I used to, too. Now that I'm old, I can't do it, brother. Why don't we race and run 100 meter? I'm going to lose. These girls are all for you.
The little cock is happier when he hears it, and the game will be held soon. The old chicken said, if you start from the same place, you will definitely surpass me. How's this? I run 5 meters short, you are behind me, and we will start at the same time. See how far you can catch up with me. You win if you don't exceed 100 meter. The cock doesn't have to chase the hen 100 meter. Mainly depends on the ability of the rooster to sprint. Whoever has strong explosive power will be in the lead.
So two cocks began to run round and round in the yard. At this time, the scene was very warm. Some cheer for their husbands' chickens, and some shout for roosters. The yard is a mess, and chickens fly and dogs jump.
At this time, the owner heard it, looked at the situation, turned and picked up the gun, aimed at the rooster and shot. The poor rooster fell to the ground and fell several meters away, and the yard suddenly became quiet. Husband chicken is very wronged, go to the master and say, master, this newcomer, he doesn't like the opposite sex and wants to fuck me.
On a bus, the flight attendant saw an old man with nowhere to sit. She looked around, walked up to an old man and said politely, "Hello! Grandpa, can you give me your seat? "
The old man said angrily, "why should I give up my seat?" I am almost seventy years old! " "
"Yes," said the stewardess with a puzzled face. We all know that you are almost seventy years old, but the other passengers on the bus today are over eighty. Sorry, only you are the youngest, don't you think! "
The old man's face turned red immediately.
When the pension system was implemented before World War I, there was an old fisherman named Dai Lewis, who was over 70 years old and fully qualified for a pension. However, he could not produce a birth certificate to prove it. One day, a local official visited him.
This is their conversation: "Dai, where were you born?" "Cork County"
"Don't you remember when you were born?" "I don't remember. That was a long time ago. "
When did you leave Ireland? "I left home at the age of thirteen and went to a farm in northern Scotland, where I lived for nineteen years. Later, he worked as a guide for a fisherman in southern Scotland for 25 years. After that, I worked as a gamekeeper for seventeen years and then moved here. " Dai, how long have you lived here? He asked his wife who was cooking in the kitchen loudly, "Mary, how long have we been married?" 34 years? "
The official put down his pen and said, "According to what you just said, you should be 108 years old." "God, how time flies!"
Funny joke story 6 A Chao drives his boss and must be on call. That night, Chao sent his boss home after twelve o'clock. He is getting off the bus. It suddenly occurred to him that you must be asleep when you go back to lie down. Why don't you sleep in the car? So he rolled down the window and lay in the back seat.
I don't know how long it took, but I suddenly felt the wind blowing in my ears. He opened his eyes and saw, my god, the car is being driven forward desperately! It seems that I slept so dead that I didn't notice it just now. The car thief probably panicked and didn't find a person lying in the back seat. Chao blamed himself for being too careless and threw the key in the front seat.
A Chao doesn't even dare to go out. He watched secretly and saw a dark figure holding the steering wheel with both hands. He seemed to be in a hurry and bumped all the way out of the city and came to the country road. Finally, the car stopped in front of a remote house. The car thief opened the car door and jumped into the yard. Not good! This will call my partner. If you don't leave now, when will you stay? Chao quickly got up and looked, haha, the car key is still in the keyhole!
Passing 18-wheeler, Chao lit a fire, slammed on the gas pedal and drove out like an arrow. Seeing this city, Chao finally breathed a sigh of relief. Just then, the boss called. As soon as Achao was connected, she heard the boss shout angrily: "Achao, don't sleep, the car was stolen!" " Get up and have a look! "Chao" smiled with a snort: "Boss, don't worry, you haven't lost your car. The car thief was so stupid that I drove it back! "
Hearing this, the boss said angrily, "Who is the car thief? Good for you, Chao. My mother has an old habit of taking her to the hospital. I see you slept soundly in the car, and I hate to wake you up. I'll drive it myself. It's good of you to bring the car back! Come back quickly, if anything happens to my mother, I won't stop with you! "
Funny little joke story 7 Isaac came to the boss's office, put his head in and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Levi, I wonder if it is convenient for you to talk to me now?" I want to talk to you about my decision. "
"Yes," said Mr. Levi. "Please come in quickly, please sit down and tell me anything."
"Great," Isaac replied. "You know, I have worked for your company for nearly seven years."
"Yes, of course I know," said Mr. Levi. "You are a good employee."
"Thank you for your compliment," said Isaac. "Then I won't beat around the bush. I want a raise. There are four companies looking for me now, but I think I should talk to you before making a decision. "
"Oh, you want a raise, don't you?" Mr. Li Wei said, "I understand your feelings very well. I can give you a raise. But the current economic situation is very bad, which has a great impact on our sales. It may not be time to give you a raise. "
"Yes, I can understand," said Isaac. "However, you must consider my hard work, the benefits I have created for the company, and my loyalty to the company for seven years!"
After listening to these, Mr. Levi was silent for a while, thinking about what Isaac said. Then he said to Isaac, "Well, Isaac, in view of your contribution to the company for many years, I don't want to lose talents, so I've decided to give you an annual salary increase of $2,500 plus five days' holiday. Can you stay?"
"Great, it's a deal," Isaac replied. "Thank you so much!"
"OK," said Mr. Li Wei, "I'll sign the salary increase document for you now, but before you go, can you tell me which companies are looking for you?"
"Oh, power companies, gas companies, water companies and telecommunications companies."
Funny little story 8 Xiao Li and his girlfriend had a little contradiction. After a week of stalemate, Xiao Li couldn't hold on and decided to apologize to his girlfriend first.
There happened to be a football match on TV in the evening, and Xiao Li and his girlfriend were both fans. Xiao Li thought for a moment and sent a message to his girlfriend: "Dear head coach, after a week's adjustment, I feel that I am back in shape and ask you to give me a chance to start."
Soon Xiao Li received a reply: "I want to further investigate your current state. In the meantime, I hope you will continue to adjust your mentality in the substitute lineup. "
Seeing that his girlfriend was still a little stubborn about himself, Li Can Jr. couldn't help being a little angry, so he put up a big card on the second WeChat: "I need to play to prove my chance. If you continue to arrange me as a substitute, then I will have to consider a transfer. "
After this news was sent out, my girlfriend replied more quickly: "In view of the fact that the team is fully staffed and the main lineup is stable, I agree to your transfer application. From now on, you are a free agent, and you can find a new team at will without reporting to the team. "
Xiao Li read this message and called his girlfriend at once, but her girlfriend just didn't answer. At this time, the roommate on the side ridiculed: "You'd better apologize to the head coach tomorrow."
The next day, after careful preparation, Xiao Li went to his girlfriend's house. After returning in the evening, Xiao Li's face lit up. Roommate asked, "Did the head coach forgive you?"
Xiao Li waved his hand and said, "The head coach is not at home."
"So-what about you?"
"I directly made the two club presidents happy. They unanimously recognized my performance. Not only is it no problem to return to the team, they even intend to sign a long contract with me! "
Funny little joke story Although Palace 9 is called the three musical geniuses together, she has never dared to play the lute to a cow since she was laughed at by them last time.
So he got rid of all Shang Yan, and stayed at home and thought it over. What makes the cow indifferent to his piano sound?
In fact, playing the piano for the cow is a challenge to a new Guinness World Record: let the cow interact with himself with the sound of the piano. Once you succeed, you can get a handsome bonus, so that you can be guaranteed for the rest of your life.
After the guidance of experts, Gong finally understood that the key to the problem lies in the choice of tracks. Last time I failed, I played Yu Boya's "Mountains and Rivers", which was obscure and too abstruse for most people to understand, let alone cattle. The expert then pointed out the maze: "If you change the track to the sound of a calf, it will definitely cause the cow to sing. This is called mother-child affection. "
Just then, the next morning, Gong came to the grassland with a group of media reporters and Guinness notaries. Everything was ready. Facing the cow, Gong performed a song "There is only a mother in the world" in a watertight way. This time, Gong can be said to have brought his potential into full play.
However, the blind man lit the lamp and rejoiced. After the fight, the cow is still chewing the green grass like no one's watching.
Seeing this, Gong broke the guqin that had been with him for many years in public and wanted to leave angrily. Unexpectedly, Niu Erjing spoke. It looked at Gong and said earnestly, "Brother Gong, I have been deaf for almost a year. Didn't anyone tell you? "
After listening to this, Gong sighed: "Alas, I am bent on the bright moon, and the bright moon shines on the ditch."
Funny little joke story 10 Once upon a time, there was a king who had two daughters. When the two daughters reached the age of marriage, the king decided to marry her. On the wedding day, the king said to the prince of the country, I want to marry my eldest daughter to him! So the king asked the guards to take an elephant to the river. Then he said: If anyone can make an elephant jump into the river with his ass covered, I will marry my eldest daughter to him!
All the princes in the world can't think of any way. Just then, a prince from Persia came up to the king and said, If I can do it, will you marry my daughter? Although the king didn't want to marry his daughter to this "black man", he had no choice but to agree.
The prince went to see the elephant and suddenly took out a needle from behind and stuck it in the elephant's ass! When I saw the elephant, I immediately grabbed my ass and picked it up in the river! The king had no choice but to marry his eldest daughter.
When the second daughter got married, the king thought it was not so easy to marry her, so he asked another question: Who can make the elephant nod first, then shake his head, then nod, and then jump into the river, and he married the second daughter!
Coincidentally, it was still the elephant, but the princes of all countries tried their best! Finally, the boss prince came up and said, if I can do it, should I marry my second daughter, too? The king had no choice but to agree.
Prince Bos went to see the elephant. After a while, he said to the elephant, Do you still know me? The elephant nodded. Do you still want to be like last time? The elephant shook his head. Do you know what to do? The elephant nodded again, and then jumped into the river, clutching his ass.
Funny little joke story 1 1 In a desert, a man was riding a camel on the highway.
After a while, a car came from behind them. The camel rider came down and waved to the car. The car stopped in front of him. The camel rider said, "I am too hot in the desert." Can you give me a ride and blow the air conditioner? "
The driver Brian replied: "Yes, yes! But what about your camel? "
The man said, "Never mind, it will follow your car."
Brian said, "All right, get in the car."
At first, Brian drove 60 kilometers (per hour), and the camel seemed to catch up easily from the rearview mirror. So he accelerated to 80 kilometers, and then he looked at the camel, still so relaxed.
He just wanted to test the camel's ability. ......
He simply soared to 120 km in one breath. Later, he asked the owner of the camel, "Is your camel really all right? I think it has stuck out its tongue ... "
Hearing this, the man nervously asked, "Where does its tongue spit?"
Brian said, "On the right!"
The man said, "drive to the left quickly, it's time to overtake ~ ~"
Funny short joke story 12 The bear market has finally come, and three friends who used to make a living by trading stocks have no choice but to start looking for jobs. Three people came to a restaurant to apply. The boss asked the first one, "What's your specialty?" A: "I used to be a trader and I would speculate." Q: "How is the craft?"
A: "Nothing, just that I can speculate the stock price from 5 yuan to 50 yuan." The boss was very happy and said, "It's really good. I only need one chef here, and that is you. " The second person handed in his resume, and the boss flipped through it and said, "Oh, it's a stock review. Tell you the truth, your job is to stand at the door every day and give me a lira when you meet people. Isn't this hard for you? "
The second man smiled and said, "Simple, simple." The boss turned to the third man and asked, "What do you do?" The man blushed and said nothing. The second man quickly said, "I brought him here. He was born in retail. Just arrange a job to wash dishes and sweep the floor. " Embarrassed, the boss said, "I am very advanced here." Why do I want retail investors? " Just then, I heard a noise in the hall. The boss quickly called the waiter and asked her what was going on. The waiter replied, "I forgot to buy meat today, and the food ordered by the guests has not been delivered for a long time." I am losing my temper. " The boss suddenly panicked. At this time, the retail investor next to him suddenly pulled out a sharp knife, straightened his trouser legs, cut off a large piece of meat with a knife and threw it bloody to the waiter, saying, "Take it first to save the emergency." He turned to his boss and said, "I have no other skills." Cutting meat is often done. Ask them both. "
The boss was very happy and said, "OK, let's go to work today."
Funny little joke story 13 Today, Porky Pig is going to his good friend's house. He went out early in the morning.
Porky Pig walked and came to a small river. There is a bridge over the river. This bridge is a single-plank bridge, and Porky Pig dare not move when walking on it, because the bridge is very narrow and the river below is still ringing! Porky Pig was afraid when a naughty little monkey walked across the bridge and shouted, "It's broken, it's broken! Look, Porky Pig is going to fall into the river! " Porky Pig was already afraid, but he was frightened by the little monkey, and even more afraid to move.
He looked down at its shadow reflected in the river, and the shadow seemed to laugh at it: "Porky Pig Porky Pig, why are you so brave? You dare not cross the wooden bridge!
Porky Pig thought: Little monkeys scare me, and rivers are laughing at me. what can I do? Porky Pig was so anxious that he shouted, "Mom, mom, come quickly!" But, mom is far away from here, and I can't hear you.
When the little frogs heard this, they plopped their heads out of the water and said to Porky Pig, "Porky Pig, Porky Pig, don't be afraid. Look ahead, don't look underwater. Stand up, stand up straight, take one step, one, two, and it will pass! "
Porky Pig listened to the little frog, raised his head, looked forward, straightened his chest, and strode, one, two, one! Hey, it's really over. The past was vivid, and the tears were still wet. Porky Pig smiled happily.
Porky Pig turned around and nodded to the little frog. "Thank you, little frog. Goodbye!" " When the little frogs saw that Porky Pig had passed safely, they all jumped into the water happily.
Funny little joke story 14 In hot summer, ants work hard, get up early every morning, and then work hard.
Their neighbor cricket sings every day, idles and pampers himself.
Crickets are very surprised at the hard work of ants. "ah! Hey! Mr. Ant, why are you working so hard? Wouldn't it be nice to have a rest and sing like me? "
However, the ant went on working and said without rest, "Only by accumulating food in summer can we prepare for the cold winter!" " ""We really don't have extra time to sing and play! "
Crickets listen to ants and ignore them. "ah! What a fool, why do you always take so long to think about things! "
Happy summer has passed, autumn has passed, and winter has finally come. The north wind is blowing and snowflakes are falling in the sky.
Crickets are so thin that there is snow everywhere and they can't find food.
"If only I were like Mr. Ant, I would store food in summer!" Crickets hobbled in the snow as if they were going to fall.
Ants who have been working don't care if winter comes. Accumulated a lot of food and built a warm home.
When the cricket found the ant's home, the ants were having a good time!
"Mr. Ant, please give me something? I'm starving! "
The ants were startled. "ah! Aren't you Mr. Cricket you met in summer? You have been singing in summer, and we thought you would dance in winter! Come on! Eat something and sing us a happy song when you are healthy, ok? "
Facing the kind ants, crickets can't help but leave tears of joy.
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