It is said that "words are the voice of the heart". The way a child speaks hides his upbringing and quality.
——Deer Mother
A few days ago, I went to a relative’s house for dinner.
On the occasion of family reunion, the children gather together to play games, the adults chat, and the atmosphere is harmonious and beautiful.
My little nephew is the only one who always attracts the attention of others because of his "unbridled speech".
The other children were quietly playing with toys and discussing games, but he was the only one who was "outrageous" and kept swearing.
Because I am a little chubby, and my husband is the kind of person who “doesn’t gain weight if he eats too much”, our body problems became his laughing stock during meals.
We two adults were a little embarrassed by what he said. We could only smile silently to save face and swallow the "heart-blocking" feeling in our stomachs.
During the dinner, my nephew not only attacked us, but also laughed at women who put on makeup, saying, "Will you scare yourself if you take off your makeup?" Higher than you."
His parents always looked at him kindly and proudly said that children nowadays know so much.
From the moment he met his little nephew that day, almost every word he said was sarcastic.
It is said that children speak without restraint, but the harm and embarrassment caused by language will not be reduced just because the speaker is young.
Children who cannot speak well will lose as soon as they open their mouths.
Others don’t even need to listen carefully to their content, as long as they know their unconcealable malice through their tone and posture.
Speak well and treat others with courtesy reflect a child's emotional intelligence and also demonstrate his cultivation.
Speaking well is a compulsory course in children's life
There was also a boy with a "lack of speech" in "Metamorphosis". He was Du Hua's son Zhao Chuchang.
Because his mother was busy with work, Zhao Chuchang grew up with his grandmother.
Grandma’s doting and pampering turned him into a child who was too young to talk.
When he was playing with his iPad, he would lie in one position on the bed and play for three hours.
Grandma came in and called him, but he said, "You don't understand human language" and kicked her out.
After the transformation began, he went to the countryside with several other guest children.
When several people went to the mountains to chop wood together, he directed others to work like a little bully.
"I want to go home, hurry up and chop!"
He was so angry that others threw the ax to him and asked him to chop it by himself.
In fact, this boy may not really be so "annoying", he also has his own shining points.
However, behind his sharp mouth, many of his advantages have been eclipsed.
Language is the window through which others get to know you. The content and tone of your words are your business cards.
During the epidemic, I once watched a video "Four kinds of vegetables that Hubei people never want to see again", which left a deep impression on me.
A little girl held up various dishes and kept complaining:
This video aroused heated discussions among netizens, and many people said:
A child who is polite and well-spoken must be very popular.
Jiu Liuhan's harsh words hurt others. Children who speak uncontrollably and use dirty words will make people feel disgusted wherever they go.
Speaking well is a compulsory course for children in life, and it is also a way of interpersonal communication.
There is family upbringing hidden in children’s “child words”
I saw such a video online.
A little boy said in an interview that he wanted to be an astronaut and take his grandma to travel in space.
This seems like a joke, but it also reveals the most heart-wrenching truth about education.
How you talk is how your child talks. Hidden in a child's words is the upbringing of a family.
Educationalist Kimura Kyuichi said:
"Parents with children should not use rough language even with livestock, etc."?
Parents Such words and deeds will accumulate aggression in the child's heart, and will also make the child learn to use words to hurt others.
In the TV series "Tiger Mom and Cat Dad", the little girl Sissi is also a child who speaks sharply.
Behind her, there stood a person even more bitter than her, that is, her grandmother who had raised her since she was a child.
The family went to visit grandma’s friend in the countryside. When the friend showed off her granddaughter’s wall of awards, grandma not only did not praise her, but also said, “This is not a meal.”
How does Sissi treat the children?
The children went to the field to pick melons for Sissi to eat. Sissi said proudly: There are bacteria on them, and there are bacteria in your mouth.
After saying that, he put a disinfectant paper towel into the girl's mouth.
People who cannot speak well have many "beasts" waiting to be released inside.
If a child's parents never talk well, then the "beasts" in the child's heart will become more and more ferocious.
So as soon as they open their mouths, "beasts" will come out and hurt people.
Educator Suhomlinsky said:
"Every moment you see a child, you also see yourself."
A child His way of speaking is a reflection of his parents’ daily education.
Those children who are gentle, humble, and reasonable must have parents who know how to tolerate and teach patiently;
And those children who are irritable, rude, and yelling , there must be those parents with rude attitudes and sarcastic words standing behind them.
The most successful education
is to raise a child who speaks well
There is a term in psychology called the "pickle effect", which means:
p>
Put the same kind of vegetables in different water, soak them for a period of time, and then cook them separately.
As a result, we will find that the cooked dishes taste different.
The same is true for educating children. The same children, different education methods, and different family atmospheres will produce different children.
If you want to raise a child who speaks well, parents should work hard in the following aspects:
1. Speak well with your child
Korean variety show "The Return of Superman" 》Na Eun can be said to be a treasure that everyone loves. No matter what situation she encounters, she can be gentle, friendly and speak softly.
When going to a restaurant to eat, Na Eun accidentally spilled the drink because it was too heavy.
She did not cry loudly or evade responsibility, but hurriedly went to the waiter for help, "Sister, sister, I'm sorry, it spilled outside, please give me a tissue."
and the waiter When we were cleaning up together, Na Eun said, Dad told me that if I do something wrong or cause trouble for others, I must be brave enough to take responsibility and never evade or lie.
How did Na Eun’s father raise such a warm little girl?
In fact, it is very simple. Just talk to your children properly without communicating emotionally or violently.
While her father was sleeping, Na Eun was responsible for taking care of her younger brother. In order to "cook" for her younger brother, she poured a large bag of cereal on the ground and thought of asking her father to "share" it with her.
When he saw all this, my father almost collapsed inside.
If you were an ordinary parent, you would definitely blurt out words such as "I know how to make trouble" and "Why can't I do this well?"
But Na Eun’s father did not criticize or scold him, but asked Na Eun in a soft voice, do you want to cook for your brother?
After getting the affirmative answer, Dad praised Na Eun for doing a good job.
Na Eun also realized her mistake and hurriedly told her father, "I will help him clean up."
We always envy other people’s children, who don’t lose their temper and speak modestly and politely, but we always forget to observe how other people’s parents communicate with their children.
2. Use more polite language
I often hear a mother complaining in the community:
"You said my child is good at everything, but his grades are Yes, she looks good, but why can’t she speak well?
She chokes people when she speaks, and her teachers and classmates don’t like her very much. There is really nothing she can do about her. ”
Yes. Once, I happened to meet her and her child in a restaurant.
There were many people on weekends, so the food was inevitably a little slow. She called the waiter and scolded her:
"Didn't you see us sitting here for so long?"
There were no napkins on the table, and she pointed at the waiter again:
"How did you become a waiter?"
...
< p> I finally understood that the person who couldn't speak well was not her daughter, but herself.If parents do not have basic manners in dealing with others, how can they ask their children to speak well?
Whether parents speak softly or harshly to others, these will flow into the children's ears intact and eventually become the child's language.
Only in a family where words such as "please", "please" and "thank you" are often used can a child who speaks well be raised.
3. When children say something wrong, provide timely guidance
The best way to prevent children from being rude and unruly is to provide timely correction and guidance from parents. .
I remember when my daughter was a child, when she saw a fat little girl, she pointed at her and shouted, "Mom, look at her, she is so fat."
I told her very seriously at that time:
"Everyone wants to be beautiful, and babies also like to hear others praise themselves, right? Just like when others say you are black, you will be sad. , she will be very sad if you say she is fat."
Later I met a child who always laughed at others for having a runny nose.
The daughter pulled her and told the child seriously, "Mom said this is rude. Don't tell him that he has a runny nose in front of his face, otherwise he will be very unhappy."
If a child says something wrong, or says something unpleasant, parents must not use "still a child" as a cover.
Tell your children promptly what words cannot be said and what words are impolite, and teach them to apologize when necessary.
A person’s mouth is a person’s Feng Shui.
A modest and polite little lady is always more worthy of respect than a domineering little bully.
A child who knows how to speak well and can express himself appropriately in language will receive applause no matter where he goes.
Raising a well-spoken child is the most successful education for a family.