It is true that a small number of people in this world were born with golden keys, and were born in wealthy families, such as Wang Sicong, or official families, military families and so on. Rich family, prominent position, extensive contacts and rich resources.
They are lucky, some of them are exposed to the public, or they are around us.
We can see them when they are so lucky and close to us. I think everyone has tried to envy, envy and hate? You may not remember this feeling as a child or teenager, but that moment must have deeply hurt your heart and shaped your basic understanding of the world.
Jealousy and comparison will often ruin you, and you are ignorant at all.
Some people hurt them in words and actions because of jealousy, or always want to take advantage of them. But more people are just jealous, even annoyed, and become somewhat inferior and want to catch up with them. But I didn't hurt them or use them.
If such people from rich families don't appear around us, or are far away from us, we won't have a chance to meet them, and we can't find them online. I don't think everyone will feel jealous, resentful and inferior. Because people will only envy people who are close to them, he will not envy people who are far away from him, and he will not slander them.
So many people's parents and families are very ordinary, but they compare themselves with the children of such a top society, a family that is either rich or expensive. Is this appropriate? After comparing with others, I complain all day, feel depressed, do things uneasily, lose self-discipline, daydream every day, always talk back to my parents, always thinking of getting rich overnight and being fooled by swindlers. Isn't this asking for trouble?
Don't be depressed. You can't force luck and good luck from birth.
We should understand that being born in such a family is a test of reincarnation technology. It can only be said that it is a blessing for lucky people to be born in a few wealthy families. As for us ordinary people, we can't force them without that blessing.
As for their parents' strong wisdom and strong family background, these lucky people still work hard and have superior abilities. Many people think that they are destined to have a bigger stage and an infinite future. Yes, that's for sure.
But I don't think this is where most ordinary people should be anxious. Because these lucky people, regardless of their acquired ability, are not people on the track with us ordinary people.
Unbalanced in my heart-"I struggled for eighteen years to sit with you for coffee."
Compared with them, it is simply asking for trouble. What you should do is to get on well with them and keep good relations. Instead of thinking about comparing with them, after all, it is not a level. When you have coffee with them and become a potential partner or competitor, you can compare with them again. It will be ten years or decades before you can sit and drink coffee with them. Look ahead. It doesn't matter which world-class luxury sports car they drive or which brand-name luxury bag they wear.
There is no need to imitate them in a hurry. Even if some people become moonlight people, they should empty their pockets and buy fashionable items that symbolize the so-called upper class, regardless of their current situation and spending power. This is stupid and vanity. It is better to save more money and enhance your ability to resist risks.
Some people say, I don't want to give up this world. What if these lucky people completely occupy the world?
In fact, even those lucky ones with superior abilities have become capitalists who oppress the masses or shameless businessmen. This kind of thing is not something that ordinary people should worry about all day. Because the increasingly perfect rule of law system will make the living space of these bad elements narrower and narrower, we must have confidence.
If you are really worried, afraid that one day the world will completely become theirs, and you don't want to give it away, then you should try to make yourself have a place in society. Some lucky people have become people who are beneficial to the world. More such people are better than less.
Well, as we all know, it is really inappropriate to compare with lucky people, and it is also a sign of ignorance and immaturity.
How does it compare with the middle class and well-off families? First of all, about 65.438+400 million people in China have reached a well-off living standard, that is, the middle class, which is no more than 200 million people anyway. This kind of family mainly has Engel coefficient below 40%.
Well-off families here often refer to parents who have opened medium-sized companies or shops with stable profits and are engaged in civil servants, staff, enterprises, doctors and so on. If you are born in a well-off middle-class family, it is ok to compare with people who are also well-off families. You can encourage your parents and yourself. But it is best not to compare with other middle-class families whose gap is several times larger.
You are a well-off family. You can compare it with a well-off family and accuse other parents of giving their children birthdays, but their parents are always busy and have little time to accompany them. Then you can ask your parents for compensation while properly understanding their work difficulties. These are all reasonable demands. You should be content, work hard and be self-disciplined as always. At the same time, you can learn more about love and learn how to love others. People born in this kind of family can get love and companionship to a greater extent.
Even if you may not be as good as your parents in all aspects in the future, it doesn't matter, you are not ashamed or bad. As long as you don't let yourself fall to the bottom and don't mix with a group of pigs and dogs at the bottom, you are developing in a good direction and have your own rhythm and pace, that's all. As for how excellent your parents want you to be, just listen, don't care too much, don't force yourself too much, just be yourself.
About 50% of the families have not yet reached a well-off level, and most of them are troubled by 996 and are busy with trivial matters. Here collectively referred to as ordinary people, refers to people who have solved the problem of food and clothing, but have worked hard and their life and work have not reached a balanced state. Their parents are often employees of companies or enterprises who have signed labor contracts, self-employed businessmen, low-paid teachers in backward areas and so on. Their family structure, low income and lack of security. Moreover, they may have health problems of middle-aged and elderly people because of years of overwork, and they need the care and support of their children when they are old. This is an ordinary family. Children born in this family do not need to feel inferior, nor do they need to compare with other families, let alone bear too much pressure. They should keep a cool head, study hard, be diligent and self-disciplined, think flexibly and grasp their own rhythm.
There are still a few people born in the bottom families. This often means that their parents are in their early twenties and have been doing short-term jobs for many years, such as migrant workers, factory uncles, street vendors, small companies with unstable profits, take-out and driving taxis. This kind of work basically does not need to sign a labor contract, so it is difficult to protect their rights and interests. We still have a lot of rural population and urban fringe population, but the development dividend of the city may not all radiate to them.
Adler once said, "Unfortunate people have been healing their childhood all their lives, and lucky people have been reminiscing about their childhood all their lives."
If the psychological problems are not solved, then the future is likely to be exhausted.
Then, when you were born in such a low-class family, you must be very sensitive to the difference between yourself and others when you are at school. Not only is there a big gap between food and clothing, but even wanting more companionship and support from parents is an extravagant hope. This kind of inner loss will cover a child's whole childhood and adolescence, and some will also form inferiority complex, sensitive and fragile. Some children are afraid to go to the party with their classmates because they don't have pocket money, so they are flawed in interpersonal communication.
Then in this case, really don't compare with the children of ordinary families, let alone those children who are lucky enough to explode at birth. Because the gap is too big, there is no significance of comparison.
Learn to be precocious and rational, although you have lost some innocence. But some things have no choice. Maybe you can live like a child again after middle age.
The only thing you have to do is to study hard, love learning, race against time to improve yourself, take care of yourself, find a good job, save more money, go to school, do research, learn technology or start a business company and so on. And seek better development. You need to be more mature and rational than your peers, because you shoulder a task you have given yourself, that is, the difficulty you have to break through, and then it will clear up and enter a brand-new life situation.
You don't need to feel sorry for this precocity and rationality, it's just your vitality feature, which will also be your advantage. You must never give up breaking through this difficulty. You are in the current maze, and the road seems very long and difficult to walk. You must walk. Otherwise, you will end up like your parents. Don't look back, look forward.
Climb out of the bottom circle and start the next stage.
When you choose to give up like some people at the bottom, you have lived like a walking corpse. There is no point in living, just deceiving yourself. Even if the economic conditions are poor today, it is much better than the life in ancient times. After all, with the development of the times and the dividend of technology, maybe you can call yourself content. But what you need to know is that even if your life is good enough, you are surrounded by people at the bottom. Many of them are restless and may offend you at any time, such as bullying, aggression, stealing and so on.
What hurts you less is nothing more than verbal cynicism, intentional or unintentional values indoctrination, personal attacks and so on. No matter how rich the society is, the bottom circle is basically dark in human nature, which has been the case since ancient times. In this case, don't be satisfied, don't let yourself wait in this circle for too long, jump out as soon as possible, if you stay too long, you will wither more and more, and many ideas will be distorted. Strive to improve yourself and go to a better environment and circle. When you are excellent, you will find excellent people around you.
1. If you meet optimistic and heroic parents, you must cherish and be grateful.
I am grateful to the tolerant, open, optimistic and heroic parents at the bottom and try my best to support you in my own way. This kind of parents spread less negative emotions to you and the energy field at home is clean. No matter how big the difficulties are, we are United, the family atmosphere is peaceful, life is as healthy as possible, and there are few bad hobbies. Moreover, for children who are growing up and about to go to high school and university, they basically transfer their decision-making power, instead of sticking to their own opinions, they just guide you to think more and search for the opinions of other people worthy of reference. Respect your every decision and choice, and have hope.
This kind of family can be regarded as a muddy family at the bottom. In the face of poverty, they still try not to be impetuous, keep their good style and have many excellent qualities, which are rare and they will teach you a lot. Therefore, we should be grateful to them and pay more attention to them. As the saying goes, "dogs don't think their mothers are ugly, and children don't think their families are poor." When they grow up, we should do our best to honor them.
2. If you meet the kind of parents who are infected by the shortcomings at the bottom, you must abandon those shortcomings.
Then some people may ask, if parents are at the bottom, they not only have poor conditions visible to the naked eye in many aspects, but also have many shortcomings that people at the bottom have.
Some bad habits that are not so obvious are not so easy for us to detect, especially when parents have been married for many years, there is no domestic violence and bad luck. It's hard to find children who grew up with them.
For example, smoking, most old men at the bottom smoke. With children's knowledge, they may think, who can define whether smoking is good or bad? It's normal to be eccentric. If smoking is not good, they are worried that others will say that they are too harsh and mean. Many things are subtle, affecting children's thoughts, big or small, and he may not realize the difference from others.
For example, blindly following the grapevine, basically people around us get information in this way, and they would rather believe what they have than what they don't. Everyone does this, as if there is no other way. How to find out whether "blind faith through gossip" is good or bad with children's knowledge? He will only unconsciously feel that this way can get relatively accurate information, and he will believe it as long as it comes from many people's mouths. He went to college and even read a master's degree or a doctor's degree before he realized how stupid it was to "blindly believe through the grapevine". He learned how to collect more comprehensive information, how to distinguish the correctness of information, how to distinguish first-hand information from second-hand information and how to find the source of information.
In addition to smoking and blindly believing in gossip, people at the bottom have other shortcomings, such as superstition, contempt for science, preference for boys, communication barriers, poor emotional control, low emotional intelligence, a little autism, a little bipolar disorder, inattention, insufficient concentration, impatience, no perseverance, a little kidney deficiency, weak will, qi deficiency, poor health and so on. If we look at this habit in various forums, we will know that even many people who have gone to college will not be able to change it for a while. There are people who despise science, and people with poor emotional control.
Satisfied with the conditions and efforts provided by parents. Don't blame them for your failure, but never be satisfied with your present situation.
Born in such a family, most parents often give their children basic support from an early age, although they don't give much support. If parents don't commit crimes and don't do things on the edge of the law, then in this case, children should still be satisfied. The future is created by ourselves. Don't think about relying on your parents. Both men and women should understand this truth. Girls should not be bound by the so-called patriarchal concept. Girls should also strive for it, because fate is cruel, and you won't be nice to you just because you are a girl.
If the parents are of this type, they are infected with many shortcomings at the bottom, and the energy field at home is not good, which makes you seldom feel comfortable and happy, and it is uncomfortable to get along with them, then such a family will lose a lot in the atmosphere, which is not conducive to your healthy growth, which is equivalent to bad feng shui. Even if they often go to worship Buddha and God, it won't change anything. You can be satisfied with this kind of parents. That's what they do. They can only accept it.
But you don't have to be too grateful to them. Just be grateful to them appropriately. Give them old-age care according to legal obligations. On this basis, give them more support and care according to their own mood and feelings. As for your brothers and sisters, that is, your parents' other children, you have no obligation to help and take care of them. It depends on your own mood and thoughts. Suggest saving the poor. You don't have to have a psychological burden. Don't kidnap yourself morally in filial piety, let yourself go.
Never compare this kind of parents with any family, because there is no comparability, they are already at the bottom. It is only hypocrisy to compare them with parents or families at the bottom. There is a saying that "I am most afraid of being mediocre all my life, but I also comfort myself with ordinary values." Stay away from those who deceive themselves, from those who lose their luster in their eyes, and from those who have been through many vicissitudes to persuade you to accept your fate, no matter how many they are.
You can be satisfied with everything your parents have given you, don't complain about your parents, and don't blame your parents for all your failures. Although they bear part of the responsibility, they also have your own reasons. Never be satisfied with your present situation, but work hard and practically. Don't complain that most of your contacts are people at the bottom. Don't hate their existence. Everyone has his own tiny meaning, and you only care about light.
Form immunity to parents, become economically independent as soon as possible, and train yourself to be sober and decisive on the issue of not being kidnapped by morality and avoiding the overflow of women's kindness.
Well, some people may say that sometimes it's really hard to control yourself from complaining about your parents. Because parents are poor, vulgar, uneducated and incompetent, they still listen to gossip and stay up late, taking it for granted to come up with a bad idea, stubbornly trying to control their own lives and guide their own life choices. Sometimes, even every once in a while, I feel that my previous ideas are bad and discouraged. Every once in a while, I will come up with different ideas and try to implement them on children. Just like at the same time, I let my children take the postgraduate entrance examination, take the examination of civil servants, take the examination of teachers and apply for enterprises. Time is so limited, it seems that children have two places at the same time.
When I meet such parents, I still suggest that such children should be precocious, achieve economic independence as soon as possible, and get rid of support. Only in this way can you refuse their irrational decision-making drive without scruple, avoid being the victim of their decision-making when they are hot-headed, and avoid being the guinea pig of their ideal experiment. However, I suggest that you must make steady progress on your own. Don't tell such parents that you want to be financially independent as soon as possible, because if you tell them, you will be hindered in various ways. Even though they seem to support you, there are more or less some behaviors or words that make you feel wrong.
Parents all over the world love their children, but people at different levels understand different things. Some parents are very old and stupid. The school won't teach you this thing. The school will only tell you that "poverty inherits the wind, why don't parents love their children?" Many of them follow dogmatism, which may deepen their depression tendency.
When you are an adult and financially independent, you can make any choice for yourself, as long as you can bear all the benefits and risks yourself. However, pay attention to one thing. At the same time of economic independence, we should also maintain spiritual independence, avoid being kidnapped by morality such as "filial piety", control our feelings and women's benevolence, don't foolishly let our kindness be used, be stronger inside, be able to endure all kinds of ugly abuse and slander and remain calm and calm, sometimes learn to lose your temper, and sometimes dare to make conditions and demands. Read more books on weekdays, enhance your immunity to the bottom parents, and enhance your own gas field.
3. If you meet parents who have bad behavior, stay away from them and keep a certain distance.
Some are obvious bad habits, which we can easily detect. This point is often recognized by people in more serious malignant events. For example, families with domestic violence, such as domestic violence, are serious enough to be household names and reported to the court. If the law successfully punishes this behavior and the children see it, then the children born in this family may have better thinking habits and everything will develop in a good direction. If the behavior of domestic violence is condoned, the children born in this family will be greatly hurt and easy to learn bad. In the past, when the laws were not perfect, it was really difficult to define domestic violence, and even the laws were condoned, which led to many tragedies.
In addition to domestic violence, there were other incidents that were close to or had been illegal in that era, such as father's imprisonment for selling fake and shoddy products. This evil behavior is easier to identify if it appears in a family. For those whose parents are at the bottom, it is unfortunate for anyone to be born in such a family. Even if it is not compared with any family, children in such families often feel poor and prone to victim psychology.
I don't recommend tolerance, reconciliation and contentment for people from this family background. I think we can forget those bad memories, then support justice and deeply realize that this evil behavior is not good. We should have a lesson when we are young and then continue our journey. Parents are broken, so don't expect anything from them. Let yourself become better and stronger, turn passivity into initiative, start your own life and control your own destiny.
1. Know the law and use it correctly to protect yourself.
Pay more attention. Children born in low-income families should learn more about the law from an early age, be familiar with the law, know how to go to the police station, know how to report a case, try to apply it, and protect their legitimate rights and interests when necessary. This can help you solve a lot of social troubles. You don't have to fit in with those young people at the bottom. You don't have to agree to all the demands of others, even the stubborn parents at the bottom. Filial piety and obedience are two different things.
2. Stay away from some people. Some people have finished their fate with you, and their feelings should be broken.
In the bottom circle, remember to stay away from some people you don't want to get close to, because you may get into trouble. There are often more criminals in the lower circles. This is a question of probability. Boys should know how to identify bad friends, don't associate with friends of pigs and dogs, have some bad behaviors or habits and don't follow suit. At an early age, my mind was full of loafers and grandfathers.
Regarding the emotional relationship between friends, relatives, siblings and even parents, we should attach importance to feelings and be grateful, but when we have stepped on the bottom line, we should break it. If the fate is over, don't try to keep it. Feelings are not used to ask for each other indefinitely. Don't feel heartless, you can't just be soft-hearted, you can only feel that things are different. Leave more energy and thoughts, develop and improve yourself, don't care about other people's voices and opinions, and don't let some unimportant people seize your little thoughts and attention.
3. Girls at the bottom should be alert to the definition and comments of women by men around them to prevent them from invading the brain.
If you are a girl, there may be many men at the bottom who miss you. You'd better not be afraid to be a woman and have all her muscles and taekwondo, even if they laugh at you as a woman or a man of steel. Social youth without education and ambition, college students without sense of responsibility and business, and greasy older men may approach you for their own selfish desires. You should recognize them clearly and don't be confused by them. They are ordinary and confident, which has nothing to do with you. When you become excellent, naturally more excellent boys will like you. Never be afraid that no one likes you, or that no better person likes you.
Girls should abandon the stereotype of women in the lower class, don't always feel inferior to boys, or what they can't do, but encourage themselves many times and tell themselves that I can do it, and don't be afraid to become a strong person. There are many opinions or ideas in the bottom society, which lead girls to become pets or inflatable dolls, mixed with men's selfish desires, control desires and a greater probability of getting women's desires. This is a huge pit. Girls must be alert to themselves, avoid it, close their ears, stay awake, be unaffected by them, ignore these noises, talk to them less and argue with them less. If these men's words are repeated in your ear a thousand times, "Repeating a thousand times is the truth", which is really amazing, so you can choose not to listen, which will save your inner energy and brain space. This is a clever method.
Many girls at the bottom think that what they see around them is the whole world, such as "men are superior to women" and "men are superior to women". Even after getting married and having children, she is still so rigid and stained with greasy menstruation temperament. According to the argument of older women over there, we must go out more. You will find that there are many patterns that are completely opposite to "son preference", and many girls live like dignified women. Learn to subvert the ideas you have been instilled, and then implant really good ideas into your brain. For a long time, I have shaped my brand-new thinking inertia, unswervingly walked on, and became my own helmsman.
We all say that a noble born in three generations, whether born in an ordinary family or at the bottom like most people, will be more or less influenced by the subconscious, with millions of thinking circuits, subconscious conceptual inertia, various micro-habits, good and bad.
It must be remembered that it is difficult for people to get rid of the influence of the past environment. If you want to change yourself, you must be influenced by the best thoughts, create a good environment for your growth, and immerse yourself in the environment of good thoughts and advocating good behavior habits for a long time, and you will naturally change. If you soak for a long time, ten or twenty years, or even longer, some bad subconscious and bad habits in the past will gradually disappear.
If the surrounding environment can't give you good feng shui, make yourself the best feng shui.