1. Only when your pants lose their belts do you understand what dependence is.
2. What kind of man do you like? I like men who shine when they smile. ——Are you talking about Tathagata?
3. I heard that eating too much seafood can cause gout, but when I thought about it carefully, it was impossible for me to suffer from gout given my financial strength!
4. Before getting married, I was too embarrassed to go out without pretending to be a millionaire. After getting married, I feel very tough when I go out and pretend to be a hundred or two!
5. That day I asked my roommate, "What should I do if I want to eat stinky tofu but don't have enough money?" The idiot casually said, "Buy a piece of tofu and eat it in the bathroom."
6. My dear, don’t worry, there will always be someone who will tolerate any of your shortcomings and will be waiting for you in the end, rain or shine. Lord Yama: I didn’t expect it was me!
7. Being beautiful, if done well, is called self-confidence. Shamelessness, if done well, is called a strong psychological quality.
8. The head teacher of that year said to us: "Actually, I don't object to you falling in love, but you must remember to find someone who is responsible. Those who let go of your hand as soon as they see the teacher must come with some responsibility." What's the use? "From now on, there will be no puppy love in our class!"
9. Three hundred Tang poems basically talk about three things: It’s so lonely in the palace. It’s so hard to fight. My friend is here. Goodbye, my friend.
10. People still need to go out for a walk more often, otherwise they will not know how comfortable it is to play with mobile phones at home.
11. Send a text message to your husband: Do you know where you put your bank card? I'm in a hurry, please come back soon! The husband replied: I know!
12. Teacher: Who can describe the married life of modern men in one sentence? Xiao Ming: Marry an ancestor and have a father! Teacher: Don’t say anything anymore, everyone applauds!
13. Some people may just talk about eating dirt and still have a lot of money in their pockets, but I am different. I talk about eating dirt, but in fact I have already drunk the northwest wind.
14. Once when I was on the street, my cell phone fell out, and a few coins fell out. Someone next to me said, look, the phone fell so hard that all the phone bills fell out.
15. When you get old and can no longer walk, I will push you to the square in a wheelchair every day and let you watch me dance with other old men.
16. When a woman is a child, her father loves her, when she grows up, her husband loves her, and when she grows old, her son loves her. Men, listen to their mother when they are young, listen to their wives when they grow up, and listen to their daughters when they grow old.
17. Work is like instant noodles, with twists and turns and three minutes of heat. The key is to increase the quantity without increasing the price.
18. A veteran in words, a coward in behavior. Even though some people drive cars every day, they have never even held a girl’s hand, like me.
19. All jobs will become boring after a long time. The difference is that others are boring and make more than you.
20. Never play with your mobile phone again. Today I looked down at my mobile phone, and my boss happened to be here, so I hurriedly said, "Good morning, group leader!" It's the end of the year and I'm looking for a job again.
21. Staying up late is really harmful to the body, so every time I go to bed late, I will order a midnight snack and eat well.