Stories about homophonic jokes
Chinese characters have many homophonic sounds, and jokes often arise because of the homophonic sounds in life. This article is a story about homophonic jokes that I have collected for everyone. Welcome For reference.
Story of homophonic jokes 1
1. A crab accidentally bumped into a loach when he went out for a walk. The loach was very angry: "Are you blind?"
Crab was very aggrieved: "No, I am Crab!"
2. In the driving school theory class today, the teacher said: "Those who cause serious traffic accidents and escape will be banned from driving (and married) for life."
A girl behind raised her hand and said: "Then I will never be able to get married in my life?"
3. My girlfriend’s name is Zhu Jing. I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. In my hometown in the countryside, when I walked in, I said: Mom, Zhu Jing is here.
After hearing this, my mother said: When the pig comes in, just drive it out!
4. When my grandfather was critically ill, he called his young and ignorant grandson to the bedside and tried his best to With his last breath, he said: "My child, in this world...it is better to be an official!" The grandson was an obedient child and he kept his grandfather's words in mind before he died. Many years later, he finally became the best coffin maker in the village.
5. A woman came to a man’s house to play. The woman teased the man and said: If you have a piece of land, I will marry you. At this time, the doorbell rang, and the courier boy said: Sir, you can deliver the goods!
6. In Chinese class, Xiao Ming did not listen carefully when the teacher was giving text analysis. Suddenly the teacher asked: "Xiao Ming, please answer Wait, what does paragraphs 1 and 2 of the article indicate?" Xiao Ming was stunned and said: "The sharp break in the article means that he and Ma Yili broke up?"
7. Niuniu and Da Zhuang were playing downstairs, and Niuniu suggested : "Let's play pretending to be a star!" "Okay, okay!" "You can think of me as Deng Ziqi!" "Okay!" Da Zhuang looked excited, pushed Niuniu to the ground, and rode up. Niuniu was startled and howled out in a loud voice: "Wang Dazhuang, your father, who the hell told you to ride me like a stool!"
8. The bus I was driving arrived that day. At the station, passengers filed off the train. The moment I was about to close the car door, a woman shouted outside the car door: "I'm going to die in your car!"
I was so nervous that I immediately closed the car door and stepped on the accelerator, thinking: "The city There are so many weird people and weird things here. ''
Unexpectedly, the lady actually called a taxi and chased my bus, and finally stopped it.
The car door opened, and the lady shouted again: "Why don't you stop? I'm going to die in your car!"
I asked her in fear: "Miss, what do you have?" Can't you think about it?''
He angrily walked to a seat, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me, "I want [the keys] to be in your car!" Story 2 of Homophone Jokes
Li Dazhuang is afraid of his wife
Li Dazhuang, a famous scholar in Hebei Province, is very afraid of his wife. If he does not obey his wife's orders, his wife will punish him to sit upright and tie his hair into a needlework plaque. He placed a lamp bowl inside and lit the lamp. Li Dazhuang's body did not dare to move or breathe, just like a piece of dead wood or a clay doll. His friends who saw him being punished all made fun of him. He said: You are a lamp stand that fills a gap in the house.
One day, his wife suddenly fell ill and had to use crows for medicine. The snow had not yet melted, so it was difficult to catch them with a net. Crow. Li Dazhuang failed to get a crow, and his wife was furious and wanted to beat him with a stick. Dazhuang was afraid, so he walked to the countryside on the sand and lured the crow with food.
A friend joked on him: Saints regard the coming of a phoenix as good luck. You caught a crow and escaped a beating from your wife. It seems that the crow is a black phoenix
Feng Shui
A man was about to die and asked his son to nail four large copper rings on the side of the coffin.
When his son asked him why, he said: In the future, you must listen to the Feng Shui master and move me around, so that it is easier to move.
The dog doesn’t recognize it
There were two people sitting together. One of them farted without saying a word, so he pretended to be fine and only covered it with his sleeves. nose.
There happened to be a dog nearby, so the man assumed that it was the dog that farted. It happened that the dog yawned at this time, and the man said to the man: Look, it still refuses to recognize it!
Painting Plum Blossoms
There is an unsigned plum blossom painting. Someone saw it and praised the painting very well. Someone asked him: Do you know who painted it? He said: Zhang Chang.
Sending a plaque
A man boasted that he would win the lottery, saying: I dreamed at night that the drum band was playing and sending a plaque to my house. One of his friends said: I also dreamed of sending a plaque to your home, with the plaque on it. The man asked: What four words? The friend replied: This makes no sense.
Laughing people pass the news
A new official took office, and a village chief asked for a hundred dogs to be handed over to the new official. He bought ninety-nine dogs, but one was missing. When he couldn't buy any more, he sawed off the horns of a sheep, mixed it with the dogs and handed it over to the officials.
Sheep are ruminants and constantly chew food in their mouths. When the new official saw the sheep's mouth moving, he asked: "Why does this dog's mouth keep moving?" The chief replied: "This dog is chewing maggots."
Laughing Fool
Once upon a time there was a thief who often had money to buy things. A fool envied him and once asked him: How are you good at stealing? The thief replied: There is a reason why I am good at stealing: whenever I steal other people's property, I use a crow and magpie to make a nest. I put the branches in my hands so that no one could see me. When a fool sees a thief say this, he believes it to be true.
One day, he went to the crow and magpie's nest, took a branch and held it in his hand. Then he went to steal property from a house and was caught and beaten. When he was being beaten, the fool also said: You can't actually see me when I knock you down.
New car
A boss bought a new car, but he was very worried about the driver he hired. He was worried that the driver would replace the parts of the new car with old ones in order to make a profit. He couldn't drive himself, so he had to ask every move of the driver clearly.
Once he went out in a car. The car slowed down and then picked up again.
"What's going on?" the boss asked the driver.
"It's nothing, sir, I just changed gears."
The boss turned to the friend next to him and whispered: "Did you see that you didn't even say hello to me? The gear has been changed. I must fire him.";