Fifteen years old is a boundary. Those who didn't reach the boundary were young people in their thirties, and those who crossed the boundary were middle-aged people in their thirties.
This is not the case: you have gained experience, a title, and even a little wisdom. You can live a little easier, be comfortable in society and begin to feel the benefits of maturity. That's really not the case. After thirty-five, it feels more like the end of adaptive training. Life should give you something serious.
Its weight has turned over and over in just a few years, and the world has not calmed down, but has been spinning wildly day after day. It seems that you have no choice but to stick to it. It's just that under this heavy pressure, I'm inevitably worried that I will be at a loss at a certain moment, so I suddenly fell down.
When I was in my twenties, I felt that I faced the world with open arms. When you are in your thirties, the situation is that the whole world is dumping on you, and you can hear the crack of your joints and you can't relax. Stress comes from all directions, but it no longer consumes your physical strength or even your intelligence. It just consumes your mind, so that your white hair grows wildly along your temples.
I think we should be honest at this stage of life, just as we should accept this series of weights brought about by life changes at this moment. If you are forged by the hammer of life into a piece of red copper, you should look like a piece of copper. Don't explain that you are hot inside, and don't promise that you will be strong. You can get here by being strong and sharp, but I guess all you need next is tenacity.
How to understand this change? When I was a teenager, the world was made of doors. Push or kick away slowly. This is a year of violent cracking. There are infinite doors in the world, and you can open infinite possibilities. But after exploring for a certain period of time, you will finally understand that you can't spend your life completely in an open door. There must be a door, or several doors, you can open them into a deeper world.
Entrust yourself to wisdom or pure desire, and you will go on like this. It is a part of you. You can work hard for it and walk to your designated place before your hourglass is empty. Therefore, I no longer envy the door chosen by others and the road taken by others. Knowing the limits of one's ability is the beginning of madness, but it won't make people feel much happiness.
Do what to make money?
Because many things will collapse. Some things that you once thought were strong, even beautiful, will soon be broken. When you carefully realize that everyone's time is limited, you will soon understand what everyone is anxious about on the stage. Many beautiful big words will not be untenable because of this, and many beautiful people will be exposed because of this. As you can see, only the law of survival is at work, but some of the behaviors it drives are more chaotic, while others are easy to see.
Always ask: what does he/she order? What's a living? It's a sharp knife, suitable for cutting phenomena and essence. Piece by piece, you will find that there are not many things that can be called real problems and not many things that can be called pure concepts. In the past, the excitement I used to chase was like a kaleidoscope. Under the dazzling illusion, there are only prism faces and some pieces of paper, and there is nothing to do with reality.
What is my personal reality?
I have a study with three pots of green plants on the shelf. Because of the smoke, they are all weak, and the leaves will never hang down, covering the top shelf as originally designed. There is a notebook computer on the desk, and there are always some books piled up next to it. After reading a book, remove one, and continue to code when a new book comes. Between books and computers, there are countless patch cords, connecting wires, chargers and various small electronic products.
There is a blue plastic box in the middle, which is particularly eye-catching There is a plastic translucent braces inside, called "snorer", which is said to prevent apnea. No one will worry about apnea in my twenties, but at my age, I will start to bite my teeth like a boxer, and even sleeping will become a deadly boxing ring. I used to wish I could "arm my teeth" on the road of life, but I didn't know it was in such an armed way.
Do what to make money?
The desk is a display of existing things, shrouded in the glory of greed. Snoring is the fear of death, and the shadow is approaching. 35 years old may be the average life expectancy in human history, and considering millions of years, this number may be even smaller. In other words, even if people in modern society can live to be seventy or eighty years old, some fears have been written into DNA. Stay away from smallpox and tuberculosis, people will still panic inexplicably after reaching this average age. Coupled with the existence of the so-called animal year, if you happen to choose a more difficult route in your career, you will always feel very heavy and don't know why.
At the same time, your friends and acquaintances grow up at home, but your parents are dying. The tide of life brings bleak autumn. People at this time to reproduce, not so much to give children life, but rather because newborns light up their own lives and dispel the shadow of death. I saw my friends deeply in love and wrote deep and shallow words for their children. In fact, they are all for their own re-emphasis on middle-aged life. It seems that they have something to do with the more distant future, and they have some value because of their responsibilities.
Living for others may be annoying, but if it is not necessary, you need more weight to prevent your soul from flying with the wind. In this way, young man running all the way, but at this time he gradually returned to the original road. Some people say: I am surprised to find that I have become the kind of person I hated when I was young. Maybe, but life was not important at that time.
I noticed many changes, including waking up one more time at night, including the stomach medicine that has been on my desk. I used to believe that all discomfort was temporary, and once I felt it, I might get better. Even if this is not the case for the time being, I am confident that one day will come. Now I don't think so. I'm beginning to believe that from now on, I may have to go on with these discomforts.
This is not so pleasant, but it can only be accepted as a part of life, just like a tree continues to grow with nodes. Continue to grow, with all the uncomfortable roles and things. The tree just stood there as if there was no other choice but to go on like this. Pursuing a beautiful world for so long, trying to coexist with a less perfect world. When I see the dark wounds of this world again, I think more about the corresponding scars on my body, that we are mapped to each other, and that I can't soar to the pure light.
There will be many choices in the animal year, but nothing the Gregorian calendar says is suitable. With such pressure, such fatigue, such pain and such fear, why should we go on and where should we go? I was drinking and chatting with an old friend the other day, and an old brother of mine talked about his business. He said that he had gone through a lot of hardships and finally won the brand contract. But when I first arrived at the construction site, I was scolded and humiliated by a girl twenty years younger than Party A..
He admits that at that moment, he really wanted to calculate how much money he had earned over the years. If he reaches the bottom line in his heart, he wants to quit immediately and do nothing. At that moment, he was shocked by the idea. "How did I become such a person?"
My old brother suddenly collapsed, and shame made him burst into tears. Betraying yourself is more terrible than pressure. The hard part is that at this age, even if you do, no one can accuse you of anything. On the contrary, you may be praised for being pragmatic and knowing how to advance and retreat.
I would rather continue to live in nothingness than see clearly what will happen in ten years. There is always the possibility that everything will disappear overnight, which enables people to go faster and further. Just like my old brothers, they are honest about their desires, firm in their aesthetics, and then severely treat their cowardice. I chose this door myself, so I have to walk all the way to the end. We are so imperfect, but we are so strong. It is sometimes weak, sometimes fragile, but it will always bloom.