Explanation:
1. When the tidying up work is about to end, I feel a kind of uneasiness in my heart. Although it is tidying up, this is the answer of many great people on Zhihu. It seems that I should not read it without my permission. The section reference is elsewhere, and I don’t know if it can be set private. I will think about it for a while and decide whether to continue or use another method as my internal reference.
2. Sorting is, after all, sorting, and sorting is also a process. From another perspective, the insights of the experts must be carefully considered and tested in life before they can finally be internalized in the heart. Therefore, this article will be completely digested and condensed into my own words in the end, rather than like a pile of treasures.
Text:
Why is making a decision so difficult?
The question is actually this: Why is it difficult for [me] to make a [correct] decision [and what should I do]? There are three elements here, one is the person, one is the decision that needs to be made, and the other is to do it. Decision, for more people, what needs to be discussed here is actually, what kind of issues are more difficult to make decisions? For other people, or looking at it from another perspective, what kind of people are more likely to feel hesitant and confused when making decisions? Finally, there is the question of what to do.
Whether this question is a good one or not, we will explain at the end. --->page down↓
Responsibility, fear of making decisions, worrying about gains and losses, perfectionism, indecisiveness, cowardice, anxiety and stress
Many explanations for this reason:
1. There is a chapter in "Bizarre Behavior" that states that the original psychological mechanism of human beings is to "keep multiple optional doors open at all times" and do not want to close any of them. Even the smartest people struggle to make a choice out of fear of losing the second choice.
2. There is a passage in Edward Yang's movie "Mahjong" that people in this world are afraid of making decisions because they are afraid of feeling stupid. You tell them what they want, and if they are wrong, they can blame you. . That's probably what it means. It is difficult to make a decision, because most people are the guinea pigs of the herd effect and can die together, but are not willing to live a difficult life alone. Behind it all is cowardice.
3. Zhou Zhongshi: Zhang Liang told me: "Smart people often think too much." I think this sentence is so right. Smart people imagine various possibilities, but sometimes they ignore the opportunities and efforts in front of them. They look too far away and cannot see what is in front of them. They act too fast and sometimes others cannot accept it, so it is not the right time. Then the smart people become stupid.
4. Wang Chao: It is easy to make irresponsible choices without striving for perfection.
5. Hu Guohua: When we are "making a decision", we have already made a decision. During this period of seemingly "decision-making" time, it is just an excuse for the decision to be made.
1. Rely on intelligence and companions to collect information extensively, and first seek the top 3 that are not bad decisions; (Maybe you already know the choice after this step, but please note: Obtaining information will help make the right decision. decision-making, but the marginal effect of obtaining information will also be obvious. It is not that the more the better, but after a certain amount, too much is not helpful.)
2. Recognize that there is no best solution. , because there is always the best solution, and sticking to it will waste a lot of your time (20/80 rule, perfectionism tendency, procrastination), so choose one from the top 3;
3. Do it quickly After making a good decision, spend most of your time on execution;
4. Be prepared to have the courage to bear the foreseeable and unforeseen consequences of your choice, and have the awareness: you can't die. human.
1. Small things: down to eating, solve the problem of what to eat according to conditions and physical needs
2. Big things: "When working, we usually start with the objective, first brainstrom, and then With the concept, no matter whether it is an expert method or a research method, there will always be methods to support the achievement of goals. Of course, there will also be implementation monitoring and optimization plans.
"So, under the premise that "the goal is clear, how to achieve the goal is clear, and the remedial optimization plan is clear (what is not clear needs to be clarified through various methods)", the choice is not AABB, but whether to do it or not. Do it. Big things are not necessarily difficult to choose. Big things are often easier to choose than small things.
If you do it, it means that the small universe is strong enough to achieve the goal.
If you don’t do it, probably not. The difficulty in choosing should be what everyone calls "fear of the unknown". Then just wait for the explosion of the small universe --->Vivi Zhang (I think this person has a good answer)
1. What you want. Too much, and hesitation in making decisions is often caused by too many desires in your heart (which are not in line with your own desires) and a failure to understand yourself clearly. If you can face yourself directly, you can make decisions quickly and your pursuit can be very clear, despite this pain. The process is inevitable, but very valuable! (This reminds me of Mahatma Gandhi and the phenomenon of running a red light)
2. You need to understand your goals at each stage of life and at all levels.
Lin Xiao:
People who give up their choices give up their own freedom and responsibility. The key to the problem is not whether I respect and agree with them, but their giving up. Whether you get your own respect and recognition. It’s okay if you want to.
1. If you are smart enough and have dealt with a lot of daily decisions in this way, the whole process is very fast.
p>
2. After making good decisions quickly, spend most of your time on execution, and at the same time make good decisions one after another. This kind of superposition will be very helpful to the development of things. ( Don’t be willing to do it only when you have everything, thinking about corrections while doing it is the right way)
3. Let’s talk about another experience in making the first decision. Nicholas Hsieh, the founder of Zappos, wrote a game in his book The story of Texas Hold'em Poker is about how important the first choice of something is. It tells the story of a man who often went to the casino to play Texas Hold'em Poker. After going there often, he discovered that in fact, the most important decision he made every night was not what happened. Playing cards is about choosing which card table to sit at when you first enter the game. Buffett once said that if you sit at a card table and don't find anyone worse than you for 30 minutes, it means you are the worst. In this situation, you should change the card table. In fact, these are just saying that you should pay special attention to the first choice. Before entering the gambling game, you must fully consider the environment, opponent's cards, etc. When you can choose the card table (many people do this) (Ignored, you can actually choose which market to enter), carefully choose a poker table that is beneficial to you
4. Qu Momo: The important choices I have experienced so far do not seem to cost a lot. It takes time to make a decision. The process of hesitation and choice makes me more anxious and painful, so make a decision early and get rid of it early, and then face the results with an optimistic attitude. I will also think positively that even if the current decision may lead to a bad As a result, there are still opportunities for correction as things develop.
5. Vivi Zhang: My point of view is that if you understand what the desired result is, the choice will not be that difficult.
6. Zhu Songqing: Make a choice, Believe in it, Do all your best to accomplish it. Then, any choice is a good choice.
7. Lily Zhou: I He is a person who has been unable to figure things out for a long time. Extremely unconscious. However, it is important to know what is truly important and what needs to be firmly grasped. Only in this way can we avoid unnecessary risks and not deviate from the direction of our life.
8. I can’t make any choices for you, I can only tell you some of my experiences. I've always found it helpful to think about decisions that aren't important. And when it comes to life-long decisions, such as choosing a spouse or a lifelong career, thinking before and after doesn't seem to make much difference. When making such an important decision, it is always helpful to believe in the voice of your inner nature --->Freud
9. Deal with things in a non-negotiable way and be intentional. Intentionally or unintentionally.
Is this a good question? If before making a decision, the first thing you think about is not the content of the decision, but how you will regret it once you decide, then making a decision will be really difficult for you. --->Kirisame Maris
I think what we should pay more attention to is the decision itself. From a positive psychology perspective, perhaps we should ask: How do we make the decision we make successful, valuable or It is a good decision, let us focus on the content of the decision itself, rather than the possible consequences of the decision. focus on what works, focus on what works most.