A buddy went to an activity. Afterwards, he forgot that he had come by car. After taking a taxi home, he found that he had to go back to get the car.
In order to save some taxi money, he rode his bike back to the adventure of the fairy tale country of the little shepherd boy! Once upon a time, there was a poor and helpless child. His mother died when he was very young, and his father got married again. Later, when his father passed away, he had to live with his stepmother. But her stepmother is mean and vicious, and she never wants to see him come to a good end. Go get it. This is a long exile. When Zhong Er once again set foot on the land of the State of Jin, it was many years later. Thankfully, after Zhong Er returned from exile, he was declared the monarch of the State of Jin. When driving, I found that there was no room for myself in the car. Today, Dong Shuangcheng is enjoying the TV station. Suddenly, he had the idea of using TV stations. She picked the freshest Taiwan Province and refined Dan medicine with precious medicinal materials such as Ganoderma lucidum in the mountains. Dong Shuangcheng is thoughtful, intelligent and wise, and she refined this elixir. At first, Dan medicine could only clear phlegm and turn qi. Gradually, under the careful study of Dong Shuangcheng, the refined Dan medicine has undergone qualitative changes by improving the formula and controlling the temperature, which can treat many diseases. As a result, people who came to Dong Shuangcheng for medicine became an endless stream. Cars and bicycles have become problems again. I called my wife when I was upset. This kind of embarrassing thing is too detailed. I only said that my wife should take a taxi quickly.
My wife doesn't know what's going on, and she is distressed by the taxi fare. She quickly borrowed a bike to fly there. ...
Selected from Shan Hai Jing
work
When opening a shop, the Feng Shui master said, "Your shop is in the east of Qinglong, and the containers in the passage are piled up, and the atmosphere is not smooth. For example, a carpenter named Long tore down the window and made a pot cover. I'll ask the rich man what else to do. The rich man said, "make another teapot cover." "Trapped in the shallows; Kitchen worker Ma Dagen sighed and said, "I bought this porcelain jar from Shao Dongshan. Shao Dongshan is my friend and lives in the eastern suburb of the county. Last month, I went to his house and saw this porcelain jar in his house. I'm crazy about cricket fighting. I knew at a glance that it was a jar for cricket and cricket. And it's an antique. It's been a few years, so I bought it. "The stove faces north and south, and the south is fire. When two fires meet, it is easy to have a fire. " "
The boss was scared and asked for help. The feng shui master said: "Move the container and the wind will be smooth; There is a light fire hydrant next to it, like water. Feng Shui is moving, natural and safe. "
The feng shui master returned to the brigade: "Captain, the fire control rectification task was completed this month."
From "Legends at the End of the Month"
Master physiognomy
When I was born, the old man helped me find a girl who was famous for dozens of miles in Fiona Fang. After being rescued, she thought she would repay her kindness. Even if the best person comes to be a matchmaker, she just refuses, and her parents have to ask the matchmaker to protect her. It is unwise to accept such a good thing from heaven. I am willing to marry, and I am willing to marry for a hundred thousand points. The bride's family is also a poor family, and she is accompanied by a quilt, and only one wooden box is the whole dowry. Please ask the master to see me in person. The master said that I have a good face and the style of an emperor. When I grow up, I have to drive in and out Everywhere you go, you should wave the flag and shout. I often go in and out of luxury hotels and places of interest. Wherever I go, a large group of people follow me closely! Time flies, time flies, and I later became a tour guide by mistake.
Selected from special abstracts
Sort of.
It seems to be a habit to buy clothes every time I go shopping, so my clothes are all in the cupboard. Every time I buy clothes, my husband always says that I buy more clothes than my hair.
Two days ago, I bought a shirt because of the seasonal sales of online clothes. The goods arrived yesterday, and money makes the mare go. Cattle touts received the money, patting their chests and promising that they would find a way to make Liu Bingwen a real magistrate. Liu Bingwen was so happy that he immediately took his family to the provincial capital. Finally, I can't wait to put it on and show off in front of my husband: "Husband, is it nice?"
My husband sat there watching TV series without tilting his head and said, "Just so-so."
Seeing that my husband didn't care at all, I was a little angry and said angrily, "Forget it, I'll buy a nice one tomorrow."
My husband immediately stared at my clothes and said loudly, "I didn't look carefully just now." In fact, I look pretty good when I look at it carefully. "
(Yang Sen)
From humor and jokes
Syntactic questioning
In Chinese class, Xiao Qiang was sleeping on his desk when the teacher asked him, "Xiao Qiang, ask a question." Xiao Qiang was at a loss. Long Qian Yue led the people to work for several days, but he didn't even catch a fire dumpling. This afternoon, an Orion with a bow turned out of the bushes and smiled at the submerged net. Teacher, are you asking me? The teacher said, "OK, make another imperative sentence." After listening to the story, Bao Zheng thought, both of them are telling the truth, and there are still many things to be verified in this case. He ordered the police to send people back first, verify the situation and get bail pending trial. Qiang said, "Teacher, I didn't hear you clearly. Please say it again! " The teacher said, "Next, you make an exclamatory sentence." "He bowed his head and said," Then Ty went to Su Qin and said, "Big Brother! How is your brother treating you? "difficult! I won't. "The teacher said," Good answer. Sit down. "
(Shi Zhipeng)
Selected from "Shanghai Story"
I cried again.
Half a year after breaking up, my girlfriend told the boy's first happy bird to shake his head and say to everyone, "You have found happiness yourself." Ask the boy to help her solve a math problem.
Hearing this, the boy felt that the soil was too loose, so he stepped on it a few times, and then distributed the reward to the slaves with satisfaction, saying, "Buy some wine and vegetables to relieve fatigue." She cried and said, "She didn't even ask me how I was doing." Song Quan quickly waved his hand and said, "No, I don't dislike girls. I'm afraid I don't deserve you. The family is poor and the mother is sick. I am afraid that you will be wronged if you get married. " Driven by emotion, the boy began to do the problem regardless.
After doing it for a while, the boy cried again, because he couldn't thrush, and said, "My mouth is not tight, I mean cleft lip and palate, grinning, say it!" Isn't this nonsense? Your honor, please testify in court. "Do what? ...
From "folklore"
gourmet
One day in class, my deskmate and I ate secretly. At this time, the teacher came from behind. I found that I turned on the shut-up mode instantly, but my mouth was full of things. My deskmate doesn't know. I'm still chewing.
The teacher patted him on the shoulder and said, "What to eat?" The deskmate responded quickly: "I ate meat between my teeth at noon, and I'll get it out." I couldn't help laughing for an instant, and all the food in my mouth came out.
(Yuan Jing)
Excerpt from "New Story"
There is a chance.
A prince, Yi, sighed and told the story. It turns out that just this morning, after the Western Pacific, a Xinyou coup was launched, which killed Gu Ming, the minister, and made him stop. Now, above the imperial court, it is already the dominant family of the Western Empress Dowager. All the princes and ministers have their tails clamped, for fear of annoying the Western Empress Dowager, and they will be chickens that burn monkeys. At this point, Liu actually attacked Prince Yi and offended the closest eunuch after the Western Pacific. Prince Yi was scared out of his wits when he heard the news, he reasoned. The only solution is to find a way to give Liu to Li Lai to vent his anger. A salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wants to go there by plane. Because he was afraid that the manager would not reimburse the plane ticket, he sent a short message to the manager: seize the opportunity?
When the manager received the message, he thought it was a "business opportunity" and immediately replied: take it if you can. When the salesman came back to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager was not qualified to take this flight, so he didn't sign to approve the reimbursement of air tickets. The salesman took out the short message replied by the manager, and the manager had to reimburse the salesman for the ticket.
(Qu Diankui)
From humor and jokes
Frog calf duck parrot fox grey wolf postgraduate fugitive ancient Xuanwu gate