Generally, people who are introverted and inferior cannot integrate into dormitory life. Only those who have really experienced th
Generally, people who are introverted and inferior cannot integrate into dormitory life. Only those who have really experienced this feeling can understand. After three years of technical secondary school, I always feel that I can't integrate into dormitory life. It has been more than ten years since a person felt friendless, and occasionally it will reappear in his dreams. Even when I woke up, my heart was sour, as if I had cried.
When I was in technical secondary school, the whole school was almost residential students. So the class of 56 students can be divided into six dormitories. People like me who have no friends in the dormitory have no friends in the class. The more I couldn't get into the dormitory life, the more sensitive I was at that time, as if everyone in the class was rejecting me.
In class, I am most afraid of doing courses that need partners. Because I can't find a partner, the only one left must be me. When we were in physical education class, our teacher taught us to dance, including ballroom dancing and group dancing. And I'm probably the only ballroom dancer in my class who dances worst, because no partner will dance with me. There are many people in the class. I'll find a corner and hide quietly. But at the end of the term, there will be an exam in physics class. It is said that you will draw lots and dance whatever you want. How uneasy I was when I got the news. I'm afraid I'll go ballroom dancing. Then who should I find as my partner? I have no partner, and no one wants to dance with me. Fortunately, I won the group dance and successfully finished the exam. Fortunately, there will be no more physics classes in the future.
At that time, I was hiding from myself alone. I can't live without music and books. At that time, I liked listening to music, all kinds of pop songs and all kinds of piano music. It seems that only music can accompany me, so I won't be different and have no friends. The rest of the time, I like reading various magazines and literary books, immersed in the ocean of literature. On weekends, when I have no friends, I just sit in the classroom, listen to songs, read books and stare at the window in a daze.
Besides, I am most afraid of eating in restaurants. In the lively canteen, everyone ate in groups of three and five, talking and laughing. At that time, it felt as if I was the only one hiding in the corner to eat in the whole restaurant. After eating a meal, it was tasteless, but my heart was sour. And I'm afraid that others will see that I'm alone. Over time, I don't like eating in restaurants. At that time, meals cooked in restaurants could not be taken to the dormitory. So every weekend I buy instant noodles to eat in the dormitory, so no one can see me. After three years in technical secondary school, I spent most of my time eating instant noodles.
It's been almost twenty years, and now I have a lover and a child, and I can't feel that kind of loneliness anymore. But now that I think about it, I suddenly see myself in the past, so humble in a small corner, and suddenly I feel sorry for that child.