2. Me: Wife, I have good news for you. I found a hundred dollars at the door this morning. Wife: I dropped that hundred dollars. Give it back to me. Me: Wife, I actually picked up two.
50%! Wife: God, it's all broken into small change. Poor thing ....................... ……NM0.0 What I call 0, this 0 is base 0, 0 is from 0, 0 steals 0, 0 keeps 0, 0 is not good 0?
My nephew likes to play in my room. I always thought it was because I was always good to him and he liked me. Until that day, I heard a conversation between him and his friend: Let's go to my aunt's room to play. Grandma will scold me if the living room is dirty. My aunt's room is a mess like a pigsty, and I can't tell whether it's dirty or not. ...
The subway suddenly braked. A beautiful woman didn't stop and hit me. I was ecstatic and embraced with open arms. I didn't expect to stop when I was still an inch away ... even more irritating, she said to me: I'm sorry to disappoint you!
5. Arriving at Watsons, the shopping guide came over: What are you looking for? I'll help you find it. Me: Nothing, I'll find it myself. Guide: You tell me, and I'm sure I can help you find it. Me: Nothing. I'm just browsing. Guide: Are you looking for this shampoo? I tell you ... I never tire of saying: No, I'm looking for someone, please help me find it. The shopping guide looked at me and said, Brother Dahe, do you think I can do it?
6. I was in a restaurant outside at dinner last night. When I ordered two dishes for dinner alone, a beggar came and kept asking for money. I teased him and said I was a beggar, too. I called it a day, changed my clothes and went out to eat. He looked at my order and said, your business is not very good today! No, I'll invite you to eat seafood hotpot across the street. ...
7. A soft girl and a woman can be distinguished from each other from an early age: a colleague brought his daughter to my house for dinner, and a cockroach ran out of the kitchen. My colleague's daughter screamed and threw herself into her mother's arms. When you lift your feet, you say, look! I stepped in its shit. ...
8. In those days, I just had an unforgettable love, and my heart was broken. The stray dog in Lu Yu felt like the dog of the end of the world, so I took it home and someone talked to me. The next day, I sat in the park and let the dog have fun. Soon, I saw the puppy bring back a beautiful girl and thought: Is this to make me hurt by a woman again? Sure enough, the girl looked at me carefully, slapped me and scolded: How dare you steal my dog!
9. My head teacher is my aunt. In math class today, I had a headache and borrowed my mobile phone from my math teacher to ask for leave. Then I sat in my seat and returned my mobile phone to the math teacher after the phone call. The class teacher saw my pale face and thought I was caught playing with my mobile phone in class. I rushed in and picked up my mobile phone and fell down. I can't forget the expression of the math teacher's mouth opening ... 10. I went to my father's house for the first time. When I took a big spoon and tasted the pig food and told my mother-in-law that it was not salty enough, her home
Sangu
Six women stopped moving and looked at me ... I realized I was cooking pig food! 1 1. A: NM. Yesterday, I made an appointment with the boy in the next class to have a fight outside the school ... Did he hit you? I hurt my face ... A: That's not true. I'll call my eldest brother as soon as school is over.
The second brother went with him, but he also called someone. As soon as that man arrived, he knocked my brother and me to the ground ... Ah, who did he call? So powerful? A man will fuck you.
Three? My mother ...
12. Shopping with my best friend, whose son clamored for ice cream. In the cold weather, my best friend didn't buy it for my son because he had a stomachache. The little guy can't get up on the ground. My best friend was in a hurry and said to the ice cream boss, give me two ice creams and the boy will give them to you. Hearing this, Xiong Haizi immediately got up and shouted at his girlfriend, you are a black sheep. You really can't do business. I am so handsome. Two ice creams will send you away, at least you have to have them.
Five ... Give me a stomachache!