This topic came to me in my dream last night, and it may really be my dream.
I chatted with a friend for a while before going to bed. She complained to me about her unsatisfactory work for a long time, mainly because some colleagues were not very friendly to her, because they would be uneasy if they looked at her for a long time. As a newcomer in the workplace, her original intention was to live in harmony with all her colleagues, but now she is very sad because a colleague is not very friendly to her.
I asked her three questions: Did this colleague make it clear that he hates you? Does this colleague play a decisive role in your future life development? Even if this colleague really doesn't like you, what are you going to do, make peace with a low profile, resign or go to work as usual? Her answer is: no, no, work as usual. Then she went on, but the thought that she was not so friendly to me made me uncomfortable. I always feel that there is a stone on my body, which makes people unable to relax.
After a while, I replied to her: after staying in this society for a long time, everyone has some knots in their hearts, but that will not affect your life. You still have to work, make money, make money. You can fall in love as usual. You can't expect everyone to like you. There are still differences in the size of RMB, not to mention only human beings. So what if I don't like it occasionally?
2.
Maybe I am an indifferent person, who has seen many injustices and undertaken many unfair things. Knowing that people can't stand me at all, I don't expect everyone to like me at all.
In the last semester of senior year, you need to choose your own graduation thesis instructor, and the counselor will give it to the monitor for distribution. Her will was based on the principle of fairness and democracy and was decided by drawing lots. Anyway, I thought it was a lucky draw. Several girls in our dormitory were very happy and acted like my mother. I didn't bother to say hello to her in advance about which teacher's topic was left for us. The final result is that all the men and women in the class have decided on the topics, and she directly left the rest to us. She also said with a particularly bad attitude, I will give you two minutes to choose, and I will give it to the teacher.
In the evening, my roommates didn't go out in the dormitory to wait for the topic. After waiting for nearly two hours, her last attitude made several girls in the dormitory explode, and directly replied to her: we are all in the top ten of the class just by looking at the student number, and the dormitory number is the second in the class. We won't choose who you send away with this attitude.
The next day, the counselor talked to me and said euphemistically, let me persuade them. I have trusted my teacher very much since I was a child. I told the counselor our reasons in a very tactful and attentive way, for fear of hurting the instructor. We especially emphasized that our behavior was not directed at any teacher, and this result was acceptable to us, but this unfair way made us feel that we were not respected by the class.
Ten minutes after I left the office, the counselor handed over what I said to the monitor intact. In less than half an hour, the monitor scolded me in the circle of friends and called me blx. He also specially emphasized that "it's good to write a smelly article and publish a book." To tell you the truth, I never felt great.
3.
Frankly speaking, the first moment I saw that circle of friends, I really wanted to call her directly, explain everything clearly and then scold her. Since then, I have never contacted each other, but after I calmed down, I still want to analyze what the problem is, and I want to know what makes her dissatisfied. There are two conclusions:
First, I overestimated my position and emotional intelligence in the minds of counselors. In addition to our considerate teachers, there is another kind of teacher in the world, but it will not repair the relationship between students, but will intensify the contradictions between students. I really didn't expect her to be so simple and directly tell the monitor what I trust her. Even if what I said is true, the parties will definitely feel bad after hearing it. Moreover, in the counselor's mind, the interests of her right-hand man are much more important than mine. I ignored this and trusted her blindly. This is my fault.
The second point was analyzed by my father. My usual performance is too eye-catching and enviable, so it is not impossible to take this opportunity to scold me. Through this incident, my father also taught me a lesson at the right time: not everyone in this world will be happy for you when you achieve certain results. Even if you get better and better, there are always people who don't like you. You must learn to keep a low profile and be patient.
At that time, I was also sad for a while, wondering if I had interpersonal communication defects, which was annoying. Later, I made new friends at work and got along well. They like my personality and I admire their talents. Only then did I find that birds of a feather flock together. Some people hate you, others like you. Many times, this person doesn't like you, and you can't get along. It doesn't mean that you have interpersonal barriers.
I remember chatting with them once and accidentally talking about it. They talked about being hated by someone, but so what? People who hated them at the beginning were left far away. In this life, I can only look at their backs. Those people may hate him and remember him all their lives, but my friends have long forgotten them, because no one will remember a person who is not important at all.
4.
Go back to high school to share in January. After the activity, I talked with my Chinese teacher in high school for nearly two hours. When I was in high school, he was the vice president of the school in his early thirties and the youngest principal in the area. Now he is developing better and better.
We have a very good personal relationship and will talk a lot like friends. I also told him what happened up there. At that time, the key point was: young people should be low-key and introverted, not too sharp-edged, or they would be annoying.
The teacher answered directly at that time, what you showed is the truth, there is nothing to keep a low profile, people who hate you will always hate you, there are always people in this world who don't like you, and you don't need to change for them. Then he told me what happened to him this year.
Last October, he celebrated his son's tenth birthday. At that time, all the guests were sitting in the hotel lobby, just celebrating. Finally, it was reported by other teachers in the school, and the Education Bureau gave administrative sanctions. Last year1February, there was a senior teacher title evaluation, and the school recommended a teacher and another teacher, both of which passed the publicity period and were reported. At that time, the teacher was very open, saying that I published more than 100 articles a year, but your whole school didn't publish as many as I did, and I had everything I wanted. Anyway, if you get me down this year, I can do it again next year.
The teacher told me that these are nothing more than some boring contests in the officialdom and workplace. When you are down and out, others will look down on you. When you go bad, they will still be jealous of you and want to bring you down. There are always people around you who don't like you. Even if you are better, there will be more people who don't like you, but you can't be defeated by others' dislike. You can't expect everyone to like you. All you can do is try to run forward and make yourself strong.
Maybe when you are a little shrimp, your colleagues will envy you for squeezing you out because of your hard work or excellent performance, or they will laugh at you for looking down on you because you are not good, and your subordinates will not like you when you become a boss. Living in this world, others may hate you because of one of your actions, but you also need to live carefully and do it step by step. Anyway, people who should like you will like you from beginning to end, and people who don't like you don't like anything. It is better to live a casual life and like it according to your own ideas. That's enough.
If you are still struggling to be liked by everyone, pray that you will be reborn as the biggest RMB in your next life. The rest, just drink this cup of "I am not liked, but I am still fearless" very maturely.
Columnist, invited author of many mainstream media, a little fresh spirit, firmly believe that the journey of a beautiful girl is a sea of stars, and once published "How can I know what to stick to? Rely on dead support ",official WeChat account: Wenchang (ID: Wenchang), Sina Weibo @ Wenchang Bear.