I'm deeply sorry for what you suffered in adolescence! But there is also a saying that you can only become a master if you suffer. You are just the experience of life!
You should change your mind, communicate more with others, see more beautiful things, don't dwell on the past, forget the bitterness and cherish the future.
For the network and online dating, you should treat it rationally, or it is beautiful now. The network must be virtual and can't be grasped.
Find a man who loves you in reality to soothe your broken heart. A wonderful life awaits you. Do not give up!
If you don't understand, you can email me :qdg@qq.com.