The so-called elitism is to determine social and economic returns according to talent, efforts and achievements. People compete fairly under the condition of equal opportunities, and those with excellent grades win. This seems reasonable, but the problem lies in "equal opportunities", because everyone's conditions, gender, intelligence level, birthplace, family environment and so on are different, so opportunities are actually unequal. In the competition under the merit-based system, education is particularly important, but high-quality educational resources are limited. The elite is rich and powerful, and gradually monopolizes high-quality educational resources. As a result, the intergenerational transmission of the elite has created a "aristocratic society" in the new era.
Class solidification leads to the decline of the middle class. A very small number of middle classes may enter the elite by their own efforts, but most of them will have a decline in income and status. This is obvious in the United States, and there are signs in China. Paradoxically, class solidification has harmed the interests of the middle class and the poor, and the elite has also suffered greatly, because the new "aristocratic society" is not based on ancient identity, and now the elite is mainly "super-skilled" workers, living a super busy life. They work hard, as if they were asking for higher returns from expensive education investment. High-end income workers are extremely busy, and 996,711is common. Not only busy, the elites broke their hearts for the next generation in order not to let the class sink. Since kindergarten, they have planned elite training routes, and tiger mother and wolf father have become a common practice.
For the analysis of elitism, see this article for details: reading is the best and eating is the most difficult.
Some people say that I am in a hurry to sell, but it is really not. I'm just telling a fact and giving you a reminder. Moreover, anxiety is not anxiety, but actually our own choice. The excellent trap is ahead. Now that we know, why should we intervene? Let's talk about how to avoid the trap of elitism today.
At the beginning of the last article, I wrote a couplet that was put on the shelf during the Spring Festival: Reading is the most important thing in life, and nothing is more difficult than eating. This tells Hu that it is not easy to go out into the society, and it is necessary to cherish the good time of studying, which also leads to the problem of elitism. In fact, I wrote a pair of couplets and posted them on the door, just a prescription to solve anxiety: be indifferent and be happy.
Facing the competition under the merit system, people are generally anxious. The elite are anxious about the class decline of the next generation. The middle class is anxious about the decline of the class and hopes that the next generation will climb to the elite. So they try their best to seek high-quality educational resources for their children. They don't worry about anything from kindergarten to university. They even have to worry about finding jobs and partners. They hope to arrange their children's lives properly. Can this be without anxiety? This anxiety is not entirely self-caused? Therefore, a "refreshing tonic" is needed to reduce the fire.
A generation has a generation's mission, so it's good to complete your mission. "Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren." Lin Zexu wrote a particularly good couplet: descendants, like me, what to do with money, virtuous and rich, damaging their ambitions; My children and grandchildren are not as good as me. What do you do with money? Stupid people get more money and their interests increase. The next generation should live by themselves, and this kind of anxiety will only add to their troubles.
So you gave up, regardless of the children? Of course not. Children are the continuation of our lives, and we have loved them since childhood. Of course, we hope they will develop well in the future. But I think many parents are not pushing hard now. They can't wait to plan their children's lives, saying it's all for their future consideration. However, is this really for the good of children, or to soothe their inner anxiety?
What is really good for children? Decent work, high income and high class are intuitive to think of, but we should not stay here. We should also think more deeply: Is this the purpose of life? To achieve these, does it mean to achieve the purpose of life? If you don't realize this, is life meaningless?
I think most people will have the same answer: the purpose of life is more than that. The purpose of not discussing life in depth today is too grand, but for individuals, an important purpose is to live a happy life. The reason why we intuitively think of decent work, high income and high class is because in a materialistic world, these words are easily associated with happiness. But we also have to admit that these words are not equal to happiness.
The elite may not live happily, and the non-elite may not live unhappily. Of course, it depends on how you look at happiness. If the outlook on life is "I would rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle", then this "refreshing tonic" is useless.
If you can laugh in a BMW, that's fine, but if you can only sit on a bicycle, you should live with a smile. In my opinion, this is "real good"-being able to live happily. We are also very concerned about Hu's education, but I am more concerned about cultivating his ability to be happy.
Is happiness an ability? Indeed, a happy life has two important foundations: physical health and mental health. There are innate factors in good health, but parents can ensure that their children eat well, sleep well and exercise well. In my opinion, mental health is more important. Every parent has the ability to give it to their children, but many parents care more about their children's "future" than their children's psychology.
How to ensure children's mental health? I'm not a psychologist, and I can't say anything about theory, but I don't think I need any profound theory. Good family atmosphere and high-quality companionship are the best guarantee for children's mental health. It is easy to spend money on children, and it is also easy to sign up for a bunch of extracurricular classes. Some parents feel wronged: I spent so much money for you, and how much I entrusted is related to your school. Why have I become more disobedient and less intimate with myself? This is caused by paying too much attention to children's "future" and neglecting high-quality companionship in an anxious state of mind.
Compared with material sacrifice, emotional sacrifice is actually more difficult, and it needs perseverance and accumulation. A busy sentence often becomes an excuse for neglecting to accompany children. If you have less company and feel indebted to your children, you will get twice the material satisfaction. This is a bad cycle.
I also suffer from busy work and have too little time to communicate with my children every day. But I got into the habit of getting up at 5: 30 every day to make breakfast for Hu from the first day of primary school. Until now, the third grade, except for business trips, there is not a day in nine years that is not the case. The delicious breakfast makes the children feel the warmth of the family, and I pay more attention to the time when the father and son have breakfast in just a quarter of an hour. A quarter of an hour is very short, but a month is 7.5 hours and a year is 90 hours. With this quarter of an hour every day, I know Hu's study, teachers and classmates, school friends, hobbies and so on like the back of my hand. Most of the contents of my official WeChat account are also told to Hu in this quarter of an hour every day.
Hu went to an ordinary school, and his grades were ok, but not particularly good. But I am not anxious about his "future", because after a long time of company, I have confidence in his mental health and believe that he has the ability to live a happy life, no matter what his "future" is.
Of course, even when it comes to "future", I have confidence in Hu, because I have taught him all the seven magic weapons. Although I haven't used it freely, young people have plenty of time to experience it. I dare not hide these seven magic weapons. If I have time recently, I will write them down in the "business school", so please pay attention.