The third and fourth sentence, you can't find a place to get it, and you don't have to work hard to get it. It means you don't have to force it. Fate comes naturally, and it will come naturally.
Everything is difficult at the beginning, everything goes with the flow, and there is no need to do anything deliberately. What you want in your heart is in the west. It's better to wait and see, and everything will come naturally, so there's no need to look for it.
As for how you feel now, don't think too much. It's best to let nature take its course, and everything goes with fate.