Worry about the world first, and enjoy it later.
—— Fan Zhongyan
one
In the spring of the fourth year, Li Qing stayed in Baling County. The next year, the government was harmonious and everything was ruined. It is to rebuild Yueyang Tower, add its old system, and engrave Tang Xian's poems on it, which belongs to the composition to remember.
I have been longing for the world-famous Yueyang Tower. I know Fan Zhongyan, Yueyang Tower, Yueyang Tower. The first time I learned about Yueyang Tower, it was written by Fan Zhongyan in a junior high school Chinese textbook, and it was a swan song about a famous building. At that time, in a secluded house in a remote rural area of southern Hunan, a teenager who was reading The Story of Yueyang Tower was thinking about the teenager of Yueyang Tower thousands of miles away, sitting quietly and falling asleep like Fan Zhongyan. The cold wind was blowing behind him, the cold rain was beating outside his window, and he just sat quietly.
I never knew that one day I would set foot on the land of Yueyang Tower, look for the footprints of sages in the vast sea of clouds in Dongting Lake, verify my doubts and interpret my confusion.
Turning to the history of the Song Dynasty, I looked for it gently in the papyrus and the agarwood of history.
Yueyang Tower, one of the three famous buildings in the south of the Yangtze River, is near the west gate of Yueyang ancient city, facing Dongting and overlooking Junshan. Formerly General Wu Dong Lu Su's military parade building. During the Jin and Southern and Northern Dynasties, it was changed to the Baqiu Tower. Yueyang Tower, formerly known as Yueyang Tower, was built on the original site of the parade building in 7 16 AD. It was named after Taibai and Changqing who recited poems. Bai Zeng wrote the poem "Climbing Yueyang Tower in Twelve Summers": "Yueyang is exhausted and Sichuan returns to Dongting. The geese lead the sorrow away, and the mountains hold the moon. " However, Yueyang Tower became famous all over the world, and it was rebuilt after Teng defended Baling, so that Fan Zhongyan could remember it.
History: Fan Zhongyan, a Chinese character, skated after the prime minister of the Tang Dynasty. He lost his wife at the age of two and adapted to the Zhujiajian family in Changshan with his mother. Judging from his surname and first name, he is not very interested in doing exercises. Raise a Jinshi, join the army as the commander-in-chief of the Guangde Army, and welcome his mother back to raise him. Once determined to reform, he did not hesitate to anger the Queen Mother and Prime Minister Lv Yijian. He used to run the army and guard the border soil, thinking that he would not choose people, and that he would be on the road to ruin if he focused on officials. In discussing the flavor of current political reform, I have drawn up ten measures, which are: openness, suppression of luck, paying close attention to tribute, selecting officials, dividing public land, cultivating agriculture and mulberry, repairing military equipment, promoting good faith, re-ordering and reducing corvee. And set up the method of persuasion class. The Biography of Fan Zhongyan in Song Dynasty said that he was "just inside and outside, and filial. Mother was poor at that time, but after that, although you were not a guest, you didn't value meat. The wife can only be self-sufficient in food and clothing. " Even "people in the alley can say their names." On the day of death, people in all directions sighed. "Lian" Fenqing people and Qiang people all painted portraits to set up shrines. "When he died, hundreds of Qiang chiefs cried like their fathers."
Look at Teng Amethyst again. According to Song history, Teng Zongliang was born in Henan, the same year as Fan. Because "the palace ban is untrue, I was sent to the ancestral department of Shangshu as a foreign minister" and "Fan Ya and I are sarcastic." You can know the crossing of the country by watching things fall. Amethyst, who has both literary talent and talent, thinks that all "building views must have words and journalists are not long" are records about Fan Zhongyan. Fan Zhongyan received a letter from Beijing, became familiar with Moran and meditated, so he wrote the famous Yueyang Tower. The full text of 368 words is magnificent, profound and timeless.
I have always dreamed of going to Yueyang Tower to appreciate the meaning and significance in Fan Zhongyan's "Farewell" and to rub eternity and charm in the building view; Or, go and see the 800-mile hole in the vast cloud of smoke. I sometimes wonder whether there are natural and unrestrained waterfowl flying around in the sunset in the reed swing in the sky; Is there a canoe fishing alone in that boundless soup? Perhaps, on the edge of the reeds, there are lonely people wandering; In the beautiful lake waves, there are arrogant geese; In the shadow of willows, there is also a sunset.
Now, I finally set foot on the land of Yueyang Tower and really felt this land; I finally know that I can hold Fan Zhongyan's hand, listen carefully to his passion for traveling through time and space, and listen to his thoughts and confessions. I finally understand that I have already made an appointment with him. Just for this Millennium agreement, I can finally let my pulse blend into his heartbeat, just in Yueyang Tower, just in its breathing and gaze.
I think of the poem in the Book of Songs: "In the past, I was gone, Liu Yiyi; I think about it today, it's raining. " I'm sure I haven't been here, but I'm sure I have. Sometimes, when you come, you go, and when you go, you just don't come. The interweaving of the past and the present, the communication between time and space, is it not so? The place where I came is me, and the place where I went is also me; I just got here. I'm on my way.
I stood on the front porch of Yueyang Tower and looked back at this ancient building with fresh blood, as if it was Fan Zhongyan, who I had never met before, so far away, so close, so vague and so real.
On the main entrance square of Yueyang Tower, stands a bronze tripod. Facing Yueyang Tower, it looks a little old. I gently pressed my hand in the past, my tentacles were cold, and then I passed. There is a faint emptiness and emptiness in my heart. As if he had shaken Fan Zhongyan's hand. His hands are a little cold and kind; With a little kind irony, like blaming me for being late, and with a little compassionate warmth, it seems to be ready to comfort me at any time. A trace of confusion and anxiety swept through my mind; Confused by his compassion, uneasy by his indifference.
I came to Yueyang Tower at sunset. Subconsciously, the Yueyang Tower in the morning seems a little restless and lacks the beauty of silence; Yueyang Tower in the morning is vacant and lacks the beauty of self-confidence. Only the Yueyang Tower in the sunset is the most beautiful in a day. The setting sun shines warmly and lazily; Yueyang Tower stands tall, solemn, heavy, dignified, quiet and slightly mysterious. There are waves in Dongting Lake, and the smell of willows is flourishing. I can only look at it from a distance, stare at it from a distance, and dare not have the slightest blasphemy and insult. I know, perhaps, compared with it, West Lake is a weak young woman, expecting others' ambiguous eyes and frivolous behavior; What about the Big Wild Goose Pagoda? It is too bleak to let go of the young heart, so it is drifting away from everyone's eyes.
I think of Wang Tengting, which is "the sunset is lonely in Qi Fei, and the autumn water is * * * the sky is one color"; Think about "where the yellow crane carries saints to heaven" and spare the Yellow Crane Tower there. It seems that every famous building is closely related to a famous person, including his life and death, honor and disgrace, gain and loss, advancement and retreat. So, are people named after buildings or buildings named after people? I can't answer it myself. Yes, Wang Bo is really rare, and so is Cui Hao, but what about Fan Zhongyan? In my opinion, Tengwang Pavilion is not only a lonely sunset, but also a sigh and sadness. The Yellow Crane Tower is just a vivid picture of Hanyang tree and a thriving picture of Nautilus Island, which can't get rid of the milk smell of natural things and the self-pity of pure literati. The Yueyang Tower, however, is a magnificent and surging ingot, tied with Fan's impassioned ark, his heroic and exciting anchor iron, and his mind and arms. Is a great husband, with great grandeur and agitation, perhaps meticulous, but not exquisite; Although carved, it is not carved. It is bold and vigorous, not rough and unassuming.
I am deeply attached to Yueyang Tower, which stands quietly in the wind of Sun Shadow Lake. Perhaps, in my eyes, it is more than just a building; It should be a feeling, a mind, a complex, an idea.
For years, it just stood still. How many vicissitudes and twists and turns has it seen? In its eyes, the world is as bland as clouds in the sky or microwaves on the lake. It hasn't had time to roll up the ripples, just to cover your eyes and write down your thoughts, has it already calmed down?
two
Guanfu Baling wins in Dongting Lake. Take a distant mountain, swallow the Yangtze River, make soup, and the list goes on. It is sunny in the morning and cloudy in the evening, so this is the grand view of Yueyang Tower, which was prepared by the predecessors. But the northern martial arts, the Antarctic Xiaoxiang and the poets who moved abroad will all meet here, and you can enjoy things without exception.
I crossed the threshold of Yueyang Tower. Hanging on the head-on wall is the handwritten farewell forever. Twelve ebony trees are hanging quietly, shining dignified and heavy, like Fan Zhongyan who has gone out of the twelve histories, gentle and humble; Hot stamping figures are erratic, flying and rotating, sometimes stagnant like Fan Zhongyan's sudden change, sometimes flying like his soaring, sometimes heavy as a rock, and sometimes ups and downs like a waterfall. I almost suspected that this was Fan Zhongyan's ideological footprint, but I traced it to Zhang Zhao. My eyes are winding with Zhang's handwriting, like a fish walking through the tunnel of history, full of sadness, joy, clutch, gain and loss, honor and disgrace, life and death. I think Zhang Zhao should be familiar with Moran, and his heart is stirring, otherwise it is impossible to sketch Fan Zhongyan just in case. However, don't Zhang's paths all bear the brand of Fan Zhongyan?
My heart gradually sank into the sea of black and gold, and I gradually forgot that I was a vulgar person, a fool, and a stubborn thing that could never get rid of the fireworks. I don't know if this wandering handwriting represents something or implies something; So, if so, what is it?
Never, the Song Dynasty was not an era of promising or doing something, an era of complete personality. When the Northern Song Dynasty curled up in the courtyard of the four corners of history, lying drunk in the dream and luxury of Tokyo, with innocent but not lacking blurred eyes, curiously looking at the guests coming and going, amazed at their uncivilized or semi-ignorance, the Qidan rose in the subsequent fear, and the Tangut became its maggots attached to the bones. In such a dilemma, at this moment, any move to change the status quo slightly will be considered as digging your own grave, and anyone who hopes to change the status quo through reform or improvement will be regarded as an alien. Therefore, Fan Zhongyan's reform is doomed to be impossible. However, being a feudal scholar-bureaucrat, Fan Zhongyan, with intellectual personality and conscience, could not choose to escape. His personality does not allow him to do so, his conscience does not allow him to do so, his education, his moral habits, and his official cultural personality do not allow him to do so. Even though he knew it was not feasible, even though he knew he was facing a whole class of students who were already neurotic and hysterical. Perhaps, in Fan Zhongyan's bones, he firmly remembers the old saying that "a gentleman does something and a villain does everything". Born and raised in Dasong, he should be loyal to Dasong. In addition, he has no choice. Knowing that you can't do it is still the reason why Fan's character is great. Therefore, this is not so much a black comedy as a tragedy.
Although the impact of the Khitan iron hoof and the rise of the Tangut Qiang nationality can make people like Fan Zhongyan truly feel the pain of being a country, the hatred of the people and the disease of the people. Unfortunately, Song Ben was ill, because he knew there was no possibility of radical cure. Why not take the opportunity to bask in the sun and prepare for the winter? Fan Zhongyan is guarding half the country, sinus, can't afford to help. Although they fantasize about making great efforts and striving for strength, they have made great efforts and made some achievements. However, they can't avoid the fate of failure, and they can't avoid the reef of failure. After Fan Zhongyan, Wang Anshi got up and reformed again. After all, he just became a lonely smoke in the desert. Although it is straight and colorful, it has the beauty of a mirage, and in the end it is just smoke. The most realistic reality is that Fan Zhongyan and Wang Anshi have all become relocated guests; Maybe it smells like a poet.
Under the setting sun, Dongting Lake is loosely wrinkled, reflecting the gorgeous smiling face of the sunset glow. I don't know how such a lovely Dongting Lake can bear the heaviness of Fan Zhongyan and the deep sorrow of Du Shaoling. Why is there the romance and freedom of Li Bai boating in Dongting and the bitterness of Du Fu boating in Dongting?
A thousand years. Dongting Lake: What did she witness? Yueyang Tower, what did he witness?
The waves in Dongting Lake and the sandalwood in Yueyang Tower jumped for a thousand years and rose for a thousand years. How many years has Fan Zhongyan's voice lingered in the dark tunnel of history?
Nobody knows.
A few less lush willows by the lake look like autumn begonia. This is not a willow in Cong's poems, nor can it be a token in Yangguan Triassic. A milky white motorboat cut the waves and got into the shadow of willow trees. Occasionally, there are worn-out boats that crawl trembling; There is a trembling old man on it, wobbling.
The mountains in the distance are like continuous animal ridges.
three
If it rains, the moon doesn't open, the evil wind howls, the turbid waves are empty, the sun is shining, the mountains are obscure, business travel is not good, the dusk falls, tigers roar and stairs rise, then there are people who go to the countryside to miss their hometown, worry and ridicule, and look bleak and sad everywhere. If it is spring, it is calm and the sky is high and the clouds are light; Sha Ou Ji Xiang, Li Jing swimming, shore Zhi Lan Ting, overcast and green, if the smoke comes out, the moon is thousands of miles away, the floating light jumps over the gold, the static shadow sinks over the wall, and the fishing songs answer each other. What a joy it is, and when you climb the stairs, you are relaxed and lingering, and the wine is welcome, which is refreshing.
I think of Fan Zhongyan's words: "Su Curtain Cover": "The sky is yellow and the leaves are cold, the smoke is green and the waves are green in autumn. The mountain reflects the setting sun and the sky meets the water, and the grass is ruthless, even outside the setting sun. Dark homesickness, chasing the idea of traveling, staying in bed every night unless I had a good dream. Mingyuelou rests alone, and the wine turns into tears. "
Perhaps Fan Zhongyan is not Fan Zhongyan; When I came, he was already in nirvana; And all I see is his shadow. So, what's the point of my clinging to his only sentence? "The moon rises ten feet, and you rest on your own", which is for sure: Is "wine in sorrow turns into lovesick tears" the loneliness that sucks the marrow? I have met too many people, whether sentimental or heartless, when it is a love poem, when it is an unforgettable acacia between lovers, thinking that it is just the red bean of acacia in Wang Wei's poems, a little sad, a little sad, a little helpless and a little lingering; Just, even if it's me, how many people have read it, you know? Perhaps, this is just a kind of irony.
I was lying in the cabin of a boat in the south lake of Dongting, smelling the faint smell of the wind and listening to the roar of the engine, and I was at a loss. At the top is a long gray sky with a faint moonlight shining. This is the night sky of all cities in China. Can't find Fan Zhongyan's "Long Smoke and Empty Moon"; I can't find Fan Zhongyan either. I think I correctly felt a deep loss, a blasphemy against faith.
The ship's engine stopped. We drifted with the current on the surface of Nanhu Lake. It's very quiet around, and I can clearly hear the turbulent underwater sound under the boat. There is a huge black steel frame overhead, majestic and unattainable, which seems to shine in the ashes of the night. This is the prototype of Dongting Lake Bridge. Since when have we become more and more excited about the myth that "a bridge flies north and south, and a moat becomes a thoroughfare", unconsciously indulge or even overdraw some of our desires, unconsciously rape nature and materialize ourselves?
I can't remember/kloc-the poor poet on the south lake more than 0/000 years ago. The story of vicissitudes of life is always on. Are things different? Not all of them. It was still full of mountains and green hills when I left, and it was already full of mountains and green hills when I came back. Whether Shaoling is just looking for something on this lake and verifying it; None of this matters. I think, maybe he just wants to know Qu Zi's heart and his decision to bury me in the water, and just wants to have a long heart-to-heart communication with him to find the best ending for himself. Qu Zi and Shao Ling, the two greatest leaders in the two eras who didn't want to stop thinking, met at that moment. Although their experiences are different, their mood is the same.
There is no denying that Qu Yuan and Du Fu are two peaks of poetic tradition and even cultural tradition. The difference is that one is the pioneer of the previous tradition, and the other is the successor of another tradition, which inherits and promotes its new glory. Although there are many differences between them, there are too many similarities between them. I look forward to their communication and mutual pity. Today, this is almost unimaginable.
Li Baiyou's Dongting should be before Du Fu. This is another peak with Du Fu. That summer, the water in Dongting also "fell from the sky" and "rushed to the sea and never returned". I can imagine the glory and romantic poetry of the floating immortal on the blue waves of Dongting. The summer wind, the clear waves, and the boat, even I have to clap my hands and fall down. "LouGuanChuan yueyang, back to dongting. The geese lead the sorrow away, and the mountains hold the moon. " Unfortunately, there are no geese, and there is no sorrow like him; Moreover, mountains are just mountains, and the moon is not such a good month.
Unfortunately, Fan Zhongyan was born after Du Li. In his time, Taibai-style romance and romance were just the scenery across the bank, which could be appreciated but not repeated; The reality and heaviness of Shaoling style are beyond his endurance, although the disaster of eating navel is just around the corner and can be truly felt. I can almost feel Fan Zhongyan's embarrassment and embarrassment. He can't learn Li Bai's chic and romantic style, and he was born passive, what's more, his original intention is different and even contradictory; He can't learn Du Fu's reality and haggard, and actively joins the WTO. Besides, he can't learn. Therefore, we can only be contradictory. While homesick in the countryside, we are worried and sneering, looking for the best point of convergence between our own meager value and the terrible fear of the emperor's favor, and looking for his personal value coordinates and the best fulcrum of his life lever.
Yueyang today is naturally not Fan Zhongyan's Yueyang. It's a upstart, a new favorite, and a new bath. What makes Fan Zhongyan happy is that his utilitarian and realistic choice has been accepted by people today without reservation. Maybe this is what he didn't expect.
The night is getting deeper. The neon lights on the shore of the lake reflect the lake and sway. I seem to see Du Fu's sad eyes and pale and haggard face again. His eyes reflect the frustrations and helplessness of life; His face is written with the pain and helplessness of running around.
Go to Chenglingji The car bumps on the bumpy lakeside highway, and Dongting Lake lingers under its feet. The wind is very strong, and the wind has a astringent taste. Small grains of sand and smoke were also thrown into the car. I barely opened my eyes and looked out of the window. My eyes are full of misty ash, like a huge smoke screen, even the sun is hiding behind. No, no tour, no shore harmony, and no mutual answer of fishing songs. However, Ji Xiang has a huge dredger blowing smoke, all kinds of garbage are swimming, and broken machines are greeting each other with noise.
The platform in Chenglingji is very windy. There are several boats moored on the lake, and people in twos and threes are busy moving and mending things. Looking ahead, the wind is boundless and the water is boundless. In the distance is the Yangtze River. But I can't see the spectacle that the clear lake overflows into the muddy river layer.
I am a little disappointed, because this is not the Dongting Lake I imagined, because this is not the Fan Zhongyan I imagined. I think what Fan Zhongyan provides is only a choice mode. Even he himself is dissolved in this mode, let alone others. Therefore, Fan Zhongyan can be relaxed, humiliated and forgotten in "bleak everywhere" and "extremely sad". And I, without his heart, only the sadness of separation is the sadness of separation; Fortunately, I also know Jiang Baishi's faint sneer. "Wave heart swings, neon silent. Read the grass by the lake and know who you are born for every year? "
However, I don't want to say goodbye to Dongting Lake and Yueyang Tower. After all, Dongting Lake is no longer Dongting Lake, nor is Yueyang Tower.
four
Hey, honey! Try to seek the heart of ancient benevolent people, or do something different from them. What? Don't be happy for things, don't be sad for yourself. If you live high in the temple, you will worry about the people, and if you are far away, you will worry about the king. But when will you be happy? It must say, "Worry about the world first, and enjoy it later!"
"Being poor can help the world" has always been the value orientation of feudal scholars such as Fan Zhongyan. The cultural personality model of "making a statement, establishing a virtue and establishing a career" is the way for them to realize their value. But what about the watershed between poverty and achievement? I don't think what Confucianism refers to should be simple material shortage; It should have a broader and deeper meaning.
I stood in the shade in front of Yueyang Tower. Listen to the wind blowing in the lake; There is a willow rubbing my face, which itches a little, but it seems to hurt. Yueyang Tower is just around the corner, solemn, solemn and calm, as if radiating a kind of brilliance. The cornices are sharp and the glazed tiles are light; The sunset jumps on the roof. Is this what Fan Zhongyan pursued all his life?
I left in a hurry. After several twists and turns, in a corner of the courtyard wall of Yueyang Tower, a huge mound suddenly appeared in the long green grass, and there seemed to be a monument in front of it, vaguely engraved with a few words. I think lightly, it should be a cemetery; It just seems that there is no need to be so flustered, as if everything is too late to prepare.
The tombstone of vicissitudes of life is engraved with the same vicissitudes of life: "Little Joe's Tomb". So simple, so simple, so plain, and even a little color. There was silence all around; The noisy traffic and people outside, as if from another world, never intruded at all, as if afraid of disturbing Xiao Qiao's dream.
This is Xiao Qiao of the Three Kingdoms. Xiao Du's Xiao Qiao in the poem "The Bronze Birds Lock Er Qiao Spring"? Dongpo's poem Imagine Gong Jin's Early Marriage. Xiao Qiao in the black belt scarf of feather fan, heroic and heroic, laughing and laughing, vanished? Did the once beautiful Xiao Qiao ever think that behind her, a pile of dirt, a touch of grass and a stone tablet is her eternal destination? Besides, many centuries have passed since her death. How many presumptuous people like me have ventured to disturb her dreams?
I stared at the simple words on the tombstone, as if I were going crazy and couldn't move. I just copied it with my fingertips in the approximate order of strokes and sighed a long time.
The height of the temple, the distance of the rivers and lakes, is in this corner of Yueyang Tower, and the place where * * * lives is * * strange. Don't, the end of the world is near, near is the end of the world? What Fan Zhongyan tried to prove and pursue was only in front of the simple monument of "Xiao Qiao's Tomb", which had been eroded to pieces and even dared not ask for a little gravel; And what are his persistent troubles and persistent happiness? What's more, Fan Zhongyan's so-called sadness and joy are only for Zhao and Song; Worrying about the world and loving thousands, I just set up a memorial arch in the ancestral hall of Zhao and Song Dynasties. Finally, they all return to dust and become excrement behind moths.
I leaned on this tombstone for a long time, as if I wanted to learn something and gain something. Yes, Teng Fan is "like-minded" and has nothing to do with me.
Behind Yueyang Tower, the sunset is like blood, holding the golden glazed tiles of Yueyang Tower. There is a faint water vapor coming up, with a astringent taste, slowly dissipating in the air. The smoke cage is cold, and the water is full of sand, but that's all.
I left Yueyang Tower at sunset; The setting sun shines on my back. I seem to hear Fan Zhongyan's melancholy but powerful voice, chanting: "Yunshan is gray, and the rivers and seas are boundless; The wind of a gentleman, the mountain is high and the water is long. "
When I looked back, Dongting Lake was weaving bloody satin and dreaming unintentionally. Yueyang Tower reflects a solemn and mysterious light in the dense fog; In the distance, where the water meets the sky, there is a hazy gray, no sunset, no birds and no clouds.
Hey! Wes, who are we going home with?