Y: look at me?
Guo: Yu Qian.
Y: it's me.
Guo: A great actor in China's phonology.
Y: What's the big deal?
Guo: My idol. Especially today, Teacher Yu came to perform with illness, which moved me very much. I don't feel well, not very well. Especially this disease, it's disfigured.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: Hemorrhoids.
Y: hemorrhoids disfigured?
Guo: Not all.
Y: I haven't heard of it.
K: OK. Envy you. Learn from you. It is not easy to say cross talk. Can't compete with singers, movie stars and big names. People earn 20 million yuan for an advertisement, and we earn 200 yuan for 1000 performances.
Y: that's you.
Guo: If you feed your mouth, you won't make money. Listening all the time is more tiring than anything. Take yesterday for example, one in the afternoon and one in the evening. It will be 10 at night. 1 1 Get home at 0: 00 and have a bite at 2: 00.
Y: Is it a bite?
Guo: Several mouthfuls. Drink more water at 3 o'clock. Take a bath at four. Make the bed at five o'clock Pillows at 6 o'clock sharp. Go to bed at seven. I closed my eyes at 8 and got up again.
Y: ok. No, what you said is too bizarre.
Guo: It's so hard, you still don't make money. I can't live day and night like this. I can't. When I woke up in the morning, the salt soup made me tired.
Y: wait a minute. Who is the salt soup?
Guo: (looking back) Son!
Y: Whose son? That's your son.
Guo: (pointing) It's inhuman, this man.
Y: Who is unkind?
Guo: My son's name is.
Y: What do you call it salty soup?
Guo: I don't care where I live.
Y: not popular.
Guo: I opened my eyes. "Dad, I'm hungry!" I am so angry, hehe (slapping).
Y: Why did you hit the child?
Guo: "Didn't you eat last year? !"
Y: Last year? What's it like to care about your whole life?
Guo: I just quit when I hit him.
Y: Who is Mrs. Gang?
Guo: My wife.
What do you call Mrs. Gang?
Guo: My wife.
Y: Oh, it's terrible to turn a blind eye to good medicine.
Guo: Bah! Incite me. I am in a good mood. My daughter-in-law quit: "Why did you hit the child?" Why did you hit the child? Have the ability to cook for children! "
Y: that's right.
Guo: Let's get together! My mother sat there and said, "I have no son, but I'm full." Having a son makes me hungry. " I said, "Mom, it's not like this. This is called cross-examination. When are you hungry? Is it-
Y: Dinner will be late today.
Guo:-You haven't eaten this week, have you?
Y: A week!
Guo: Our family is happy. ...
Y: What a happy family.
Guo: Where is the salt soup? Salt soup! (Looking around, finally facing) Salt soup!
Y: where to? Go find your son.
Guo: I lost my salt soup. Go out and look for it. This makes me very angry.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: I watch my mouth from the door.
Y: I'm going to see people eat.
Guo: In the yard, an old lady lives across the hall, living with her granddaughter and mother. Today includes jiaozi. The children watched how to mix stuffing, roll skin, wrap, cook, fish and eat here.
Y: how detailed.
Guo: What do you mean by having three pots and five pots for such a big man?
Y: Girls, how much do people bring?
Guo: For example, when my son comes to your place and you recruit a spoiled child, what will you do?
Y: it can't be wrong. Be sure to put the baby to bed: "eat here!" " "
Guo: Did you hear that? This is also what parents put forward.
Y: What are you talking about?
Guo: The old lady refused to give it to us and advised our children: "Honey, go home, don't look, it will burn soon." Look at it. It will burn? You still put it in your mouth!
Y: Don't compare with this.
Guo: This makes me very angry. "Salt soup! Salt soup! Stop looking! Jiaozi? That's it. Huh? Didn't you eat? " Show your face, son!
Y: what did you say?
Guo: "I haven't eaten!"
Guo: "Well, that thing is a medicinal material, do you know?" Can't eat. You will get AIDS if you eat it. Go, go with dad! "
Y: no more.
Guo: "Let's go to that room and have a look at the stew. Let's go "
Y: It looks like a change of mouth.
Guo: Go inside, and the old lady in the back scolds the idle street: "Honey, let's eat. Our name is jiaozi. Grandma has eaten all her life and has never had AIDS. When life is awkward, you get SARS at a glance. "
Y: I got the news from that old lady.
Guo: What a shame! Don't you know how to build a drinking society?
Y: Don't put the words of that party here.
Guo: Isn't it just Bao jiaozi? Bags!
Y: Bao.
Guo: Bao! Bags!
Y: wrap it up.
Guo: What bag? Not a penny. Where can I get some money? What shall we do? Can I be a pawn? There is a pawnshop next to it.
Y: go ahead.
Guo: Is that all right?
Y: of course.
Guo: To do this, you must be innovative. Don't be too shabby and old.
Y: that's true.
Guo: I took a big bundle of new ones.
Y: fur coat.
Guo: Kang mat.
Y: kang mat?
Guo: He doesn't want it, you know?
Y: no, I don't know.
Guo: How about leather goods?
Y: A leather coat will do.
Guo: Leather goods, gray mice, never on their bodies. Their fur is straight. All right!
Y: that's good.
Guo: "Look at this?" "Don't!" "You give less." "Don't give less!" How annoying, don't
Y: Don't you want such a nice fur coat?
Guo: I want to buy a fur coat.
Y: what?
Guo: Ear hat.
Y: it's not necessary
Guo: I've never been on the body.
Y: What's that thing for?
Guo: What if I have no money? Hey, let me see. After washing clothes in the neighborhood, put them in the alley to dry. You are here, now the sun is out, what should I do if it rains in the future? I left everything to him.
Y: good-hearted.
Guo: "The rag collector! Come here, come here, take it all for you, hehe. "
Y: Did you sell it?
K: A total of 10 yuan. Save rainwater.
Y: This can't get wet.
Guo: That's very thoughtful. 10 yuan, I'm rich again. Buy meat, buy Jin of mutton.
Y: making stuffing.
Guo: Buy an onion, a piece of ginger, white wine, peanuts and garlic. Go home and let your daughter-in-law chop meat. "Chop it in the yard! Courtyard! Chop it at the door of the old lady's house. "
Yu: Hold your breath.
Guo: I am a very ambitious person. "Hard chop, hard chop." Wrap garlic, mash it, put it in vinegar, put some sesame oil, and put chopsticks here. Bring me the wine and give me a lot! This money is a lot of wine.
Y: How much do you want to drink?
Guo: No amount of money is enough. "Salt soup! Salt soup! Hey, I'm calling you. Pass me the thermos. "
Y: why?
Guo: Drinking iced wine will give you an appetite.
Y: hot water?
Guo: Yes, yes, and a cup.
Y: drink it. It smells a bit like wine.
Guo: Please give me two peanut beans. I can't eat any more.
Y: why?
Guo: No more.
Y: yes, I can't buy a few.
K: Wait. Wrap it up! No noodles.
Y: didn't you buy noodles?
K: Just 10 yuan. No stuffing and no noodles. From a botanical point of view, no noodles can be wrapped.
Y: I can't wrap it at any angle.
Guo: What should we do? Think about it. There is a miscellaneous grain shop at the door, and the manager's name is Zhao. Everyone called him "Mianzhao". I know him. Give him a few Jin of noodles on credit first, and then give him the money when you pour it. Good idea! Went to find him. Stand at the door. Quite stocky, with curly hair and big glasses. The nose is red and the distiller's grains taste like strawberries.
Y: it's amazing.
Guo: Stand there. "Hey, manager zhao, you are more and more energetic. I blushed, my nose healed, and the strawberries were harvested. "
Y: Why run away?
Guo: "Business is booming all over the world, with strong financial resources, reaching the Three Rivers. This year's billionaire list needs you, haha. " "Thank you, hahaha, no credit."
Yes
Guo: "This is impossible. That's not true. I didn't say noodles on credit. I'm just standing here. It's not funny. You played a joke on me in the old street and the old street. Come on! "
Y: why?
Guo: "Today, you have to pay on credit 10 Jin of noodles!"
Why are you here?
Guo: "If you don't give it, you have to give it. No, we're not finished! Give a face! " "no!"
Y: no credit.
Guo: "This is not right!" I am in a hurry. When I turned around, some friends came. It also belongs to our literary and art circles. In a band. White Swan Band.
Y: White Swan?
Guo: I dare to correct you during the day.
Y: ok. Rob? This is not.
Guo: Holding all kinds of musical instruments. There is a rope.
Y: It's called piano solo.
Guo: Two strings.
Yu: Erhu.
Guo: Sanxian.
Yu: Sanxian.
Guo: Four strings.
Y: I haven't seen it
Guo: A telephone pole.
Y: A telephone pole?
Guo: There is no such string.
Yes
Guo: "Come on, boys, play the piano. I sing a song for the manager. Hey-ugly son is in the sun, Wollongong is building a treasure house, sitting in the middle of Emperor Xie Tian, and the five-way god of wealth enters Bora. One gold coin, two silver coins, three cash cows and four cornucopia. Golden horse tied to a cash cow, silver man set up a cornucopia. Silver man holds eight big characters in his hand every day: lucky money, treasure and gold. " (Note: You sing this passage with a nice voice. )
Y: ok, hey.
Guo: "Get rich! Manager Zhao, you have made a fortune. Strawberries must grow. "
Y: It's called singing happy songs.
Guo: "Well sung! No face! "
Y: Still no credit?
Guo: You don't even take credit for such a high-profile door.
Y: I lived in vain.
Guo: Give him another paragraph! Do you want to sing this part again?
Y: Not a happy song?
Guo: I changed the funeral song.
Y: How to sing the funeral song?
Guo: "As soon as I entered the door, I was frustrated. There are clothes hangers on both sides of the mulberry door. The shopkeeper is sick for a while, and the apprentice burps for a while. I'm thinking about mourning. I see. There is No.5 Yamaraja Road among the dwarfs. The head of the tauren is walking, followed by Vulcan. Today, the grain store caught fire. Shit, Manager Zhao! Go to hell. It will catch fire. There is already smoke in the backyard! "
Y: Your mouth is so insulting.
Guo: I am so angry. "Give it to him, give it to him, give it to him, let him go, damn it!"
Yes
Guo: Haven't you finished it?
Y: exactly.
Guo: Go home and say to your daughter-in-law, "Mix noodles! And! " Sit here and drink my wine.
Y: keep drinking.
Guo: My daughter-in-law mixed noodles, and while making peace, she cursed in the street: "This bread won't hold."
Y: bad face?
Guo: Sticky noodles.
Y: Sticky noodles can't be wrapped.
Guo: No way. Can you wrap the noodles?
Y: That won't do either.
Guo: It won't close.
Y: right.
Guo: What can I do? I am not afraid of trouble. (Turning) "Salt soup!"
Y: If you call your son, you'd better go that way, OK? Several times.
Guo: (turning to the other side) "Salt soup! Here you are, take fifty cents and go to the door to buy fifty cents of hemp. "
Y: no Why buy hemp?
Guo: Do you know what marijuana is used for?
Y: It is used to line the stove.
Guo: Yes, it's finished. Do not hesitate. Don't even pull the lock on the stove. I believe jiaozi can pull out a lock.
Y: In the noodles?
Guo: The same ambassador.
Y: oh!
Guo: The scientific truth is the same. Buy it back and put it in the noodles. You can't cook it. You must steam it.
Y: Yes, it will dissolve as soon as it is cooked.
Guo: We broke up right away. Sticky noodles, porridge and meatballs are not edible. Steamed. Steam in a steamer. Big jiaozi. Wait a minute. 20 minutes, a drawer.
Y: ok.
Guo: A pot of hedgehogs.
Y: Ah, where's the hedgehog?
Guo: My hair is standing on end.
Y: hemp is standing up.
Guo: What should we do? It doesn't matter. Wait 20 minutes. I'll go to the hair salon at the door and lend you a hair clipper.
Y: what's the use of that?
Guo: Let's give jiaozi a haircut.
Y: give it a twist.
K: Not far. There is a hair salon and a sliding door, and a woman comes out. "Ah, this is not to say that Mr. Guo's crosstalk. Mr. Guo, you seldom come to our place. What can I do for you? " I said, "Sister, use the fader as the special envoy." "We don't have a fader here." "Scissors will do." "We don't have scissors here." "A razor will do." "We don't have razors here."
Y: why not?
Guo: "Do you have a comb?" I can straighten it and eat it. Save your throat.
Y: Let me borrow one.
Guo: "We don't have combs here."
Yes
Guo: My tears are almost coming down. There are many poor people. "I said, what do you have here?" "We only have one mat." "Oh, not easy, not easy. I'll borrow it somewhere else. " Just turned around, no, nothing. How do you do this business?
What are you talking about?
Guo: I have been working for two years.
Y: What kind of hair salons are there?
Guo: "Well, just come in and have a look." Took me in. "Don't hold me, let my wife have a look." Into the back room, there is a room. Finally, there are sleeping mats and pillows on the ground, there is an electric stove here, and there are oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and soy sauce bottles on the windowsill. "What's the matter?" This is my studio and kitchen. ""the workshop? I haven't been to you at ordinary times, and it's interesting to shave my head for 3 yuan. " "Don't you usually come to us ..." "Don't tease me! All the old neighbors in the old street know me, and I am clean and clear. "
Why are you telling people this?
Guo: "Stop it. Wherever I go, the chastity archway follows me. Your door is short, otherwise you will go in. See you later. "
Y: What a mess.
Guo: I walked with my front foot, and my back foot called me, "Come at night if you want." I'll check it out and go home. When I got home, I saw my daughter-in-law who borrowed a pair of scissors and was twisting her head with them. Twist it, pour vinegar, add garlic and eat. Get my mom out. The old lady picked up one, opened her mouth, bit it, and cursed it while eating.
Y: What are you talking about?
Guo: "These children are disobedient. They told you not to pretend leeks, but you didn't listen."
Is that leek?
Guo: "Mom, this is meatball." "Impossible, plug!" "That's hemp nao. Make do with it. " The old lady ate half, the children ate two, and my wife ate one. Look, what day is it today? I was in tears. It's like I swallowed medicine. ...
Y: not much.
Guo: Eat all this drawer.
Y: Have you finished all of them?
Guo: No more.
Yes, you must eat it.
Guo: Good stuffing is the key. I feel sad when I am full. My daughter-in-law looked at me and said, "Hum, marry Han and dress for dinner. Why do you want to marry Han when you can't dress and eat? " I said, "Wrong. Marry a wife, for hunger. Why do you want to get married when you are hungry? "
Y: it's all the same.
Guo: "Don't talk nonsense! I'm telling you, think quickly. Such a day is outrageous! ""you don't say that. This is the life of husband and wife. Don't look down on me. I'll bring you back10 million within three days from today. Otherwise, it is not Guo! " Stand up and walk out. She was scared when she saw my face change color.
Y: that's right.
Guo: After all, they are fast couples. She is much better than the lottery winner.
Y: What a good adjective.
Guo: I walked in front and she chased after me. "Don't worry!" Hold out your hand. Bang!
Y: I dragged you back.
Guo: I was pushed out. Close the door, too. "If you don't come back tonight, you will sell the house tomorrow."
Y: She is throwing caution to the wind, too.
Guo: What should we do? Ten million.
Y: think about it.
Guo: I said 10 million?
Y: yes!
Guo: You can't earn mud money. What is the point of living? I am dead! Not alive, but dead! How to die? Just out of the alley, there was an old man next to him, setting up a shabby stall to sell things. There is a kitchen knife!
Y: I see a kitchen knife.
Guo: Lengsensen catches people's eyes, dazzling and frightening. This kitchen knife is my sworn enemy!
Y: Do you want to accept it? ...
Guo: As soon as I reached out and took it, the blade rushed out and rushed in behind, and it was on my neck at that time.
Y: Why did you rush in with your back on your back?
Guo: What if it hurts me?
Y: I'm afraid of stabbing.
Guo: "Old man! Is this knife yours? ! "The old man was frightened:" It's not mine. " "It's either yours or mine!"
Y: The man with the knife is wrong.
Guo: Just kidding.
Y: oh.
Guo: People buy for 10 cents and sell for 20 cents. They came here for profit. Are you ashamed of taking it for nothing?
Y: You can't do that.
Guo: Just playing with him. Give it to him in a roundabout way ...
Y: I returned it.
Guo: That's right.
Y: sold?
Guo: I sold it. I bought food. I want to be a full-fledged ghost when I die.
Y: Still want to die?
Guo: That's right. Buy a set of pancake fruit, a bowl of bean juice, half an inby, a bunch of candied haws and a bottle of soda.
Y: eat nonsense.
Guo: All right this time. Don't be a hungry ghost. Go to hell! The knife is missing. I ate something that would kill me. Jump into the river! Throw into the river to find a well. Run to Yongdingmen!
Y: Oh, to Yongding River.
Guo: Go up and have a look. Go to hell! This method won't work either.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: I can't swim.
Y: Can you swim and jump into the river?
Guo: Not so dead. Hang yourself. There are trees by the road, that's it. Unbutton your belt and put it on. People are dying, and the in the mind is not a taste. There is an old mother in high school, a child who just went to school and my wife.
Y: I remember it all.
Guo: What if my family of three dies? I have lived to be in my thirties this year and have not yet become president.
Y: I want to be blind.
Guo: What should we do? And my children. My son is so cute and clever. I've always wanted to raise him and help him.
Y: go! Where is it? Die before it is too late!
Guo: It's over! This time, son, you can't give me a gift
Y: forget it.
Guo: (pointing) What a bad guy. He always tells me to die.
Y: I couldn't help it. You will die.
Guo: You are not kind. You suffocated me. Take off my coat and give it to your father, right?
Y: Why? I won't.
Guo: Die! Three inches of gas has thousands of uses. Once impermanent, everything will stop. Hang up and go to hell! People don't deserve to die, but the five elements can be saved.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: Two hours, I'm still alive.
Y: Hanging around your neck for two hours won't kill you?
Guo: Two feet off the ground, hanging around the neck, not dead!
Y: around your neck?
Guo: Hang it on your ankle.
Y: Can you die holding the top?
Guo: I can't die. What should I do? It's getting dark Come down. Take it off. Let's talk about it when we have a chance. Go back along Yongdingmen and take Qianmen Street. We live in Wang Hongbin. Let's take our time. At night 12, they are all closed. Hey? On Qianmen Street, there is a fur shop in Ludong.
Y: selling leather goods.
Guo: Leather clothes seller. A car is coming to unload. A group of workers, sleeping in a daze, are hugging inside. Throw a bag of things into the ground. Do you see it? Throw it out for sale, more than 8 thousand yuan.
Y: that's a good thing.
Guo: I can't go now.
Y: why?
Guo: Now he sees, "This is ours" and it's over. I hid behind the telephone pole and watched. Soon, I went in. The door is closed and the light is off. Mine! Get rich! I squatted down on tiptoe and reached out to hug. Chi, you bit my hand.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: rhubarb dog.
Y: look carefully.
Guo: That's disgusting. Just shaking hands, a cook came out of a nearby restaurant: "Here comes the dog thief again. I lost 30 dogs this month, one every day. It must be you. Good boy! " One foot, Qianmen Street kicked me to Wang Hongbin. Later, it was swept away, and it turned out that this advocate was from the national team. I can't play football, but you can kick me! Go home. Come to the door. I'm not bragging to you.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: I dare to shout at our door!
Y: I dare to shout at our door. What's in the door?
Guo: My wife heard me knocking at the door. It's too noisy, and she's worried about whether I really go out. I'm in a hurry when I hear that I'm back. Tell me directly.
Y: what did you say?
Guo: "Die outside!"
Y: I still won't let you in.
Guo: "Open the door, open the door, and don't let the neighbors hear you." The sides of the door are separated. Come in, alas, it's so dark. "Turn on the light!" "What light is on? I haven't paid the electricity bill for a year, and the receiver smashed the light bulbs. "
Y: ok.
Guo: "There are still a few waxes. Light the candle. "
Y: Hey, light some wax.
Guo: "Wax? Your son eats one and your mother eats two. "
Y: huh?
Guo: "That's wax." "Spicy, not spicy, a little sticky."
Y: It's for hunger.
Guo: It's getting dark. What shall we do? "Didn't I pick up a kerosene lamp that day? Where did I throw it? " "I threw it under the bed." "Take it out." "Mental derangement? This is not? Where can I use kerosene these days? There is no place to sell oil in the store. " "Don't have to take this oil. Gasoline will do. Salad oil, rapeseed oil ... "
Y: Where did you buy it?
Guo: "I have nothing, nothing. Just yesterday, I left some salad oil, and your mother had it for breakfast this morning. "
Y: everything.
Guo: "Go find it." Where is the oil? It's so late. Even if you have money, where can you buy it? Well, I remembered a sentence: "Come in the evening if you want." She has oil there. I came home, beat around the bush, came here to have a look, closed the door, closed the curtains and lit the little red light on the edge of the room. "Open the door, anyone, open the door!" Nothing happened for a long time. Fei Zhi Zhi's voice became thick: "The police are coming!" "There was a bang in the room, and two shadows flew out of the back window and landed on the branches.
Y: I am shocked.
Guo: Go in through the window. It's on the windowsill. Grab it. It's right there. Go home. I took it home, stabbed and stabbed after I went in, and didn't light a pack of matches.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: I took a bottle of vinegar.
Y: vinegar?