Unpleasant emotions include anxiety, depression and anger. The content of these thoughts may come from the perception and memory we have at any stage from childhood to the present, which may be based on reality, imagination or both.
The defense mechanism has many beneficial functions. As a healthy and creative way of adaptation, it runs through the whole life process of individuals integrating into the environment, and it protects individuals from threats. The defense mechanism is like white blood cells in the human body, but it is preserved stably, and there will be no deep anxiety, depression and anger in the face of conflict.
Everyone has a defense mechanism. The defense mechanism is subconscious, and its use is spontaneous, which can be expressed as individual personality characteristics.
The most advanced defense mechanism—
0 1? Humor (humor)
Humor means that in the face of difficulties, the attention of others present is not diverted, but the embarrassment of the parties themselves is resolved in a humorous way.
Humor is an important factor of interpersonal attraction in interpersonal relationships. Many women put humor in an important position when looking for a male partner and considering each other's conditions. Appropriate humor needs wisdom, and humor is specially used to solve embarrassing and painful situations.
Example:
Smart people will like my article.
People full of love will praise my article.
Rich people will reward my article.
It rained heavily today, and the temperature plummeted. Even a colleague in the office wears short sleeves to work.
The leader asked him, "Aren't you afraid of the cold? He smiled and said, "I'm not even afraid of poverty. Will I be afraid of the cold? "
Socrates was discussing academic problems with his friends when his wife suddenly came running. First she cursed, and then she threw a pot of water on him, which made him wet through. Socrates just laughed and said, I knew it would rain after the thunder. This is an embarrassing scene, which is immediately resolved through humor.
Humor can resolve the conflict between talking and laughing. In families and groups, humor is the lubricant of conflict and can be used as a sign to measure whether the family and group atmosphere is healthy, humorous and comfortable.
Of course, excessive humor is also a cover-up of mental illness. Humor is not accidental. Many comedians and humorists had an extremely miserable childhood. Humor is a very mature defense mechanism, which depends on people's development and creativity and contributes to interpersonal relationships.
A defense mechanism that can make people behave like babies—
02 regression (regression/regression emotion)
When individuals encounter serious setbacks and can't cope, they retreat to the state of children, showing childish behavior reactions that are not commensurate with their age. This is the regression mechanism.
Example:
After the husband and wife quarreled, the wife ran back to her mother's house and cried to her mother.
Ever since A was laughed at by his classmates, whenever he wanted to go to school, he would have a stomachache and could not go to school.
B is nervous in front of authority figures, unable to think and incoherent.
C afraid of authority. After many times of practice, he can calmly face any questions from the director, but in the face of the general manager, he will still be like a child, sweating on his forehead and unable to report his work.
Adults, when they encounter difficulties and can't cope with them, feel that their "illness" has worsened and they need to rest, thus retreating to the life that was taken care of in childhood. This is the unconscious regression mechanism.
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Adults will have this situation, and so will children. Children's state C has a second hierarchical structure, which can be divided into 0- 1 year-old children's self-state, 1-2-year-old children's self-state and so on.
Example:
Six-year-old Dabao can take care of himself. Since Bauer was born, he has been urinating and sucking his fingers everywhere, and has regressed to an earlier state of children's self.
When babies are subjected to extreme stimulation or pain, they will go to sleep to get rid of the current predicament, which is the ultimate model of regression. Babies especially like to use this behavior to deal with conflicts brought about by the unknown world.
Adults will also experience extreme retrogression, such as fainting, lethargy, and indulging in inner fantasies to replace the pressure from the real world. The most common thing is to play mobile phones for a long time after coming home from work, escape from reality, retreat to their inner world, and not communicate with people emotionally.
In infancy, people rely heavily on caregivers, but it is impossible to meet all their needs. People's desires and instincts should be suppressed, and their psychology is unbalanced and contradictory, so all kinds of defenses are produced.
03? force
(inhibition/suppression)
Inhibition is the basis of defense mechanism, and many complex defenses have the components of inhibition mechanism.
Suppress the thoughts, memories, emotions, desires and impulses on the conscious level into the subconscious; Forget or ignore some subconscious. Repression is the minimization of reality.
These contents suppressed in the subconscious have not disappeared, but still exist, which will unconsciously affect our behavior.
Example:
When the young monk came down the mountain and saw the patroness, he thought of the tiger that the old monk said ate people.
In traditional culture, "forbearance" and "forbearance" are a kind of repression. If repression is promoted to national culture, the habit of forbearance may become an unconscious automatic mechanism. When you can't bear it, you can't control yourself; Long-term forbearance will make individuals physically and mentally ill, and suppress individuality and uniqueness for the whole nation.
Because of the influence of culture and system, China people are most familiar with their own emotions and feelings. When certain moments, such as seeing certain objects, and certain times (such as Tomb-Sweeping Day and the anniversary of death), depressed emotions will be awakened.
There are poems as evidence:
In Song Dynasty, Su Shi's work "Remembering Dreams on the 20th day of the first month of Jiang": Ten years of life and death are boundless, so you can't forget it. A lonely grave thousands of miles away, desolate and nowhere to talk about. Even if we don't know each other, our faces are dusty and our temples are frosty. At night, I suddenly dreamed of going home, and the window of Xiao Xuan was being decorated. Care for each other without words, only tears thousands of lines are expected to break the heart, and the moon and night are short and loose.
In the eighth year of JaeHee Ning (A.D. 1075), Su Shi wrote a poem in memory of his wife who died ten years ago. 19-year-old Su Shi and 16-year-old Wang Fu are newlyweds, and the young couple are always together. Su Shi and his wife had very deep feelings, but Wang Fu died young.
The more life experiences, the different the emotional understanding of life experiences and emotional experiences in this paper. People who have had a happy family and those who have never experienced a happy family have completely different understandings of dreams: suddenly coming home, Xiao Xuan window, dressing up, and the meaning of words. The text has a strong sense of picture, static: Xiao Xuan window, dynamic: dressing; Things: porch window, people: dressing; Quiet: don't care about each other, move: tears flow thousands of lines; Sky (far): moonlit night, ground (near): short matsuoka. Time: night, color: bright moon.
The imagery of ancient poetry is a must for China culture. Look forward to the heartbreaking place waking up at this time of the year and releasing depressed emotions.
Why is there a background for dreaming at night? Many physical memories, emotional memories and cognitive memories are buried at the bottom of the subconscious, and dreams are an important clue for us to cooperate with the subconscious. Dreams can understand what is suppressed and excluded from consciousness. During sleep, the strength of the defense mechanism is obviously weakened, and the repressed subconscious desires and impulses will be manifested. Su Shi had a dream at night, and all this happened in his dream.
Slip of the tongue, slip of the pen and forgetfulness in daily life are all caused by the inability to completely suppress some subconscious desires. For those who have suffered severe trauma, extreme sadness or gambling panic, they will use the inhibition mechanism to "forget the experience completely". For example, people who are abused, raped and cruelly treated on the battlefield are prone to PTSD.
Everyone's life time is limited, there is no political party in power forever, and there is no power to occupy all resources forever. Life and death become a bad space, and people are worse than one day after a hundred days. Such obvious facts are often forgotten or suppressed by people and groups, which can avoid anxiety.
In addition to avoiding anxiety, depression has a positive significance: people will inevitably experience all kinds of pain, anxiety and depression. These unpleasant emotions include pain, anxiety and depression. It will make people open the defense mechanism of depression. In this way, when people grow up, they will gradually push away their early intimate objects, find new partners outside family of origin, establish their own intimate relationships and form new families.
04? Deny (deny)
Denying is refusing to admit or accept some unpleasant realities, desires and impulses. Denial is an instinctive reaction that everyone ignores reality, thinking, emotion and object when facing disaster. The intensity of subconscious denial is much greater than that of repression.
The most common example: it is the most common in film and television works. When someone saw the terminally ill diagnosis issued by the hospital, he said that it was impossible. I am in good health. How did this disease happen to me? The doctor must be mistaken.
We use this defense mechanism to deal with unpleasant experiences in infancy and refuse to admit the existence of negative experiences, which have always existed in our children's self-state. When we were young, we had a belief that if I didn't admit it, it wouldn't happen, and mom and dad wouldn't know.
Children who fall into trouble often cover their eyes with their hands or deny it.
If a child breaks something and then refuses to admit it, try not to say things like "You dare to lie, lying is a bad habit, you are a bad boy who loves to lie, and adults hate lying children".
Now you can try to express it in a calm mood and calm tone: "I heard a different version (I saw something different happen), and I'm a little curious." Can you tell me more? "
In traditional culture, "out of sight is clean" and "stealing the clock" both have this meaning.
Defense mechanisms rarely appear alone, but they are usually used together.
Examples of repression+denial:
Mom pinched Bauer and said to Dabao, if you bully Bauer again, I won't want you.
Dabao replied, I like my brother (sister) very much. I always give him what I like to eat.
Dabao suppressed hatred and denied it.
05? Split/split
The mechanism of division is very common and can be seen in children. When they watch TV, they usually ask the adults around them: Is this person a good person or a bad person?
The splitting mechanism is to divide people and things into good and bad extremes, and adults also have them. When they fall into an impulse or crisis, they use the splitting mechanism to understand complex things and ease their emotions. Angels and demons, left and right. This view comes from the fact that mothers in infancy are divided into good mothers and bad mothers.
Images in literature, art and games, or the creation of whole characters and storylines, are arranged in this way. For example, almost all Disney cartoons are created in this way, which also helps children understand the story and grow up.
06? Idealized (idealized)
When individuals can't cope with setbacks and pains, they will have an unrealistic fantasy of escaping from reality. Often overestimate some people or things. This overestimation mechanism can easily distort and beautify the truth, so that it is divorced from reality.
Idealization is a concept closely related to division, but it constructs a perfect object and makes it concrete, which is only equivalent to the concept of "good mother".
Overestimate a person and think that a person is the greatest (good). Can be broken down into reasons:
1, alleviating the sense of shame caused by lack;
2. The need for love: avoid realizing disappointment (to parents);
3. Empathy: Idealized objects are like parents who were kind to themselves when they were young (idealized parents).
This is also a self-deception mechanism (self-deception defense mechanism includes: reaction formation, rationalization, isolation, idealization, dissociation, distortion and so on. ), there is an idealized example: Long live the emperor.
07? Rationalization (rationalization)
Defend unacceptable emotions, behaviors and motives with specious explanations to make them acceptable and achieve psychological balance.
In traditional culture, the idiom "A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise" and "Be content and be patient with yourself".
The defeated people are unwilling to admit that the defeat is due to improper use of their own strategies, but they say that "it is shameful to meet the elders in Jiangdong to defeat the enemy without fighting"; Business failure is due to life, potential, luck, gas and other factors.
Lu Xun's The True Story of Ah Q is a classic example, such as Song Huizong's Hunting in the North and Ming Yingzong's Hunting in the North.
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I missed the plane, thinking: this is God's arrangement, something will happen to this plane.
China lost the men's football match again. Summarize the reasons:
First of all, turf
1, the turf is too hard.
The turf is too soft.
The grass is too long
4. The grass is too short
5, not suitable for broadleaf grass and other grass species.
Second, the weather.
1, snow or not?
2. Is it raining or not?
3. Whether there is hail or not
4, the light is too strong or the light is too dark
5. Too cold or too hot
6, neither cold nor hot (can't cause trouble to the opponent)
7. The wind is too strong or too weak.
Third, the stadium.
1, field factor:
The referee helped them.
B, the referee won't help us
C, the opponent is too strong
D, the opponent's technology is too delicate
The doorpost helped them.
F, the opposing goalkeeper plays BT+ supernormal.
G, the stoppage time is too short
H, the stoppage time is too long
2. Off-site factors:
First, away from home, the impact of the atmosphere
B, home games, too much interference
C, the audience doesn't cheer for us
D someone threw a Grenade at the stadium.
3. Stadium
A, too wide or too narrow
Too long or too short
C, too big or too small
D, the altitude is too high or too low
Fourth, the lottery is not good.
1, all the top teams in the same group lost. According to common sense, China should lose in the group of death.
2. The average team in the same group lost. The main reason is that the ideological burden of wanting to win and being afraid of losing is too heavy for the players to let go.
The weak teams in the same group all lost. Lack of attention to one's opponent, carelessness, and momentary negligence.
Verb (short for verb) Other reasons (external)
1, I lost the game with a strong Asian team, and my fear of South Korea kept me in the shadows.
We lost to the weak team in Asia, and our opponents made great progress. We have no secrets from them.
I lost to the weak European team, and China lost to the European team.
4. We lost 0: 1 to a strong European team (such as Italy). Tell everyone a good news: China only lost to a powerful Italian team 0: 1! !
We lost 0:/kloc-0: 0 to a strong European team (such as Italy). China played his usual level and the players worked hard. The result surprised the whole country.
6.0: 100 lost to a strong European team (such as Italy). What a wonderful game! Italy scored 20 goals for one star and 25 goals for one star! It seems that the level gap between China and Italy is a little bit.
Six, other reasons (internal players)
1, "Turtle School" didn't come back and lost. We are the main force in the snow.
2. The "Turtle School" came back and lost, and the time difference was not reversed.
Seven, other reasons (internal synthesis)
1, the head coach has poor skills!
2. The quality of China fans is poor!
3. The name of China Football Association is poor!
4, China team-the team doctor technology is poor!
5. The leader of China Football Association-the aunt who poured water to sweep the floor in the office is so pitiful!
Eight, feng shui
1, the head coach is not wearing a lucky red vest.
2. There have been women on planes, buses and bicycles that the team has been on.
3. The positioning of the court is not good.
Nine, there is nothing we can't think of.
1. The players were not excited because they didn't watch the new article broadcast before the game.
2. Players didn't go to the bar to drink before the game, so they couldn't enter the state;
3. Players are not involved in gambling, have no interest and can't lift their spirits;
I don't like or reward my articles.
08? Intellectualization (intellectualization)
Explain with a bunch of theories, avoid the anxiety caused by these conflicts, suppress emotions and impulses, and cover up inner unhappiness or pain.
Rationalizing this defense mechanism can see emotions, while people who use rational defense mechanism can't see emotions. Rationalization will minimize people's emotions, exaggerate their sense of morality and be alienated in interpersonal relationships.
In China, men obviously use this defense mechanism more. A bunch of theories, isolate their emotions.
If you satisfy yourself in a relationship, there will be no need for others, which will relieve your anxiety and fear of interpersonal relationships, such as hooking up with others, using virtual self in social relations, leading to unrealistic relationships, being ruthlessly rejected, discovering your true self and being unable to cooperate with others. For example, why do you like, reward and feedback your articles?