Funny copywriting circle of friends

The funny copy is sent to the circle of friends (selected 4 1 sentence) 1. What's wrong with being ugly? As long as I don't look in the mirror, it's not me who is disgusting. The young couple got into a fight and threw a pillow downstairs. A beggar happened to pass by and was very happy. Then he flew away from the quilt. The beggar was ecstatic and cried upstairs with tears: Eldest brother, please throw that woman down. An employee bought a cup with "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"! Grandpa said, "Today is my birthday." Grandson asked, "What does birthday mean?" "Birthday, that is, grandpa was born today." Hearing this, the grandson opened his eyes wide and said, "Wow, how did you grow so big today?" Watching two children quarrel, one of them said to the other: Do you believe I slapped your father? The other said, I don't believe it. Then that Xiong Haizi slapped himself. Turned and left. 6. Who can tell me what happened to 1982? Grape massacre? Why were there so many Lafites in' 82? 7. The Weaver Girl went down to the world to take a bath and got to know the Cowherd, and performed a love story that made the gods cry. This tells us that there is no chance to take a bath at home, so I have to take a bath outside ... 8. I am worth tens of millions, with countless luxury cars, private luxury restaurants and modern farms. Since I lost my QQ number, I have nothing ... 9. There is a little wolf who was born vegetarian instead of meat, and his parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot! 10. When I was sick as a child, my mother always made a cup of coffee and said that foreigners drink this. I've always been afraid of coffee. It's bitter and bitter. When I grew up, I traveled all over Starbucks and went to the island, but I couldn't find the taste I drank when I was a child. Until one day, I drank Banlangen ... 1 1. At this age, I was embarrassed. Half of my friends are already parents, and the other half are so drunk every day that they don't even know their parents. 12. Wife: "Why do you go to the balcony every time I sing?" Husband: "I want everyone to know that I am not hitting you." 13. A man was constipated when he went to the toilet. Suddenly he saw a man rush in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "I envy you, I haven't had time to take off my pants yet!" 14. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit. 15. Since my mother knew the word single dog, she has forgotten my name. 16. Someone asked me how to spend Valentine's Day this year, and I said, skip it. 17. After paying your salary, you will be arrogant for a week, save a week, expect a week, and this month will be over! 18. Self-cultivation of girls taking photos: take only one selfie out of 3,000. 19. When I was a child, I often wondered, when I grow up, should I take the exam in Tsinghua or Peking University? Now that I think about it, I really think too much. 20. Please, Yue Lao, don't marry me with inferior thread in the future, it will be broken every once in a while. 2 1. My emotions can be roughly divided into four categories; Eat too much, sleep too much, think too much and spend too much. 22. People still need to go out for a walk more, otherwise they don't know how comfortable it is to play mobile phones at home. 23. I have a feeling of being close to Ma Yun: making money is not as powerful as him, at least as ugly as his sense of accomplishment. 24. I always close my eyes when I cut onions, thinking that I won't cry, but I still cried when I cut my hands. 25. Don't sweet talk, don't reveal happiness. Because physics common sense tells us that the sun is easy to lose water, and refrigeration is the best way to keep fresh. 26. Every time I meet that kind of induction faucet that doesn't work well, I feel like begging. 27. Although I was dumbfounded by Xueba's achievements, the speed at which I handed in my thesis absolutely stunned Xueba! 28. tease your daughter when washing your face: will dad give you a new mother? Daughter: No! How can I live with my stepmother? 29. I remember that in high school, every time I had an English exam every month, my teacher would draw a dragon ball on my test paper. As long as I collect seven, I can ask my father to go to school once. What a painful understanding. 30. I failed the primary school exam once, and my father wanted to hit me. Mom caught dad! At this time, I finally breathed a sigh of relief. As a result, my mother took out a wooden stick and said, honey, you have worked hard. Let me do it! 3 1. When I was in middle school, a classmate in my class lent me a CD with the words "Minors are not allowed to watch alone". Very clever. I asked my parents to watch it together. My face was swollen that day. When I was a child, whenever I saw those blind performers in the street, I was full of admiration. I silently fished in their piggy bank, and then they would take off their sunglasses and hit me. 33. I feel that I am not at school now, but learning from me, simple and rude, without condoms! 34. Find friends, boyfriends, kiss, hold hands and have children at night. 35. There is no love and hate for no reason in the world, but TM is fat for no reason! 36. I bought a can of mimosa today. I'm not ashamed to go back. Go back and ask the boss. The boss said, "Maybe you bought this pot to lose face." 37. I didn't like to eat when I was a child, which led to my short stature now; I love eating now, which makes me fat and short. Embrace your chubby self in danger. 38. Remember those people who chat with you late into the night, because they make your dark circles so heavy and your skin so bad. 39. Tell me about you. If you don't have a diploma, it's still a shame to learn from others. If you're not smart, you're still bald. 40. It occurred to me that day to use your photo as a computer desktop. Damn, I'm infected by a computer virus. 4 1. Life is like a super girl, and all the men come to the end.