Under the guidance of the teacher, the students draw lots to recognize each other. Everyone should write ten comments in the composition book. The average student's comments on a composition are above 150 words. After many corrections, students can not only remember the basic requirements of writing accurately, but also understand these requirements more and more deeply. He will instruct others how to write and how not to write, which will naturally enhance his writing ability.
1. See if the format is correct.
Draw someone else's composition book, look at the composition format first. If the format is correct, write the comments in red. Approval is based on deduction method. If this item is not deducted, it is a perfect score.
Friendly reminder: this item can be subdivided into title position, first and last lines, beginning of paragraph, number of paragraphs, number of words in full text, etc. 〗
2. See if the roller surface is neat.
Everyone can see this. When underachievers correct other people's compositions and point out that the papers are untidy, they should also pay attention to the papers next time they write their own compositions.
Friendly reminder: this item can be subdivided into defacement and writing quality. Anyone with a neat face, refreshing and pleasing to the eye, and beautiful writing style should be affirmed. 〗
3. How many typos are there?
If you find a typo, mark it in the original text, write it in the comment on writing, and then write the orthography at the back. If typos are found, 1 point will be deducted for every two, and1point will be deducted at most. If it exceeds 10, no points will be deducted, but it should be corrected one by one.
Friendly reminder: We should cultivate the good habit of looking up words in the dictionary frequently, write less and don't write typos, and enhance our ability to distinguish typos. 〗
4. Look at some sick sentences.
Pick out the sick sentences in the composition, underline them and write down where the disease is. Then, in the comments after the article, write down a few sick sentences and correct them at the eyebrow criticism or the original sentence. Subtract 1 to 10 in each sentence, and do not subtract any more.
Friendly reminder: you should cultivate the good habit of diligent deliberation and summary in your usual composition, avoid the occurrence of sick sentences and enhance your ability to distinguish them. 〗
5. Look at the usage of punctuation marks
Emphasize the use of periods, quotation marks, exclamation points and question marks. If obvious mistakes are found, one point will be deducted, and more than ten points will not be deducted.
Friendly reminder: accurately remember the writing form and usage norms of punctuation marks. 〗
6. Look at the center of the article
These two points in composition guidance, concrete examples, tell students what is clear and centralized. Before the students correct, the teacher will read a few articles, then briefly introduce two good articles and give two examples that are not prominent and not important. Students can draw inferences from the positive and negative examples given by the teacher, and those that conform to reality can be recognized.
Friendly reminder: we should combine the excellent texts in our textbooks to deeply understand and grasp the concepts of salience and centralization of the center. 〗
7. Look at the material selection of the article
This comment on writing puts forward three requirements: ① whether to focus on the center. (2) Whether it conforms to the reality of life. ③ Whether it is typical.
Friendly reminder: the materials are true, typical and meaningful. 〗
8. Look at the structure of the article
Three comments should be written clearly: ① Whether the hierarchical paragraphs are clear. ② Whether the transition is natural. ③ Whether the beginning and the end are coordinated.
Friendly reminder: the structure is reasonable, and the innovators in form should give affirmation. 〗
9. Look at the expression of the article
Mainly depends on whether the expression of the article meets the requirements of the article genre, whether it is flexible, narrative, explanatory and argumentative.
Friendly reminder: those who are flexible in expression, detailed and complete in narration, concrete and vivid in description, accurate and clear in explanation, lyrical and natural, and rigorous and profound in discussion should be affirmed. 〗
10. Language of reading articles
Mainly depends on whether it is concise, smooth and accurate. If the language is not concise, repetitive and verbose, the penalty will be deducted as appropriate, and this item will not exceed 5 points. If the language is not fluent, it does not mean that there are sick sentences, but the cohesion between sentences is not coherent, and the deduction will not exceed 5 points.
Friendly reminder: those who are rich in vocabulary, vivid in image, sincere in feelings, diverse in sentence patterns, novel in rhetoric and concise and coherent in expression should be affirmed. 〗
[The last five requirements 10 are divided into improvement requirements. There is no specific regulation on the reduction of marks, and the reviser will handle it as appropriate. 〗
Special suggestions for composition in examination room: topic preparation, first and last paragraphs, transitional paragraphs, and first and last sentences of paragraphs are the places that marking teachers pay more attention to. For these places, we should raise the requirements according to various standards, be especially careful and try not to make mistakes.
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How to revise the composition
Revision is the last step in writing a composition, and it is also a very important step. But some students despise this step and even give it up, which is very bad. Think about it, which great writer's works have not been revised? Some have to be revised several times. Mr. Lu Xun once said that after writing an article, you should read it at least twice and try to remove unnecessary words. This is one of the tasks to be done in review. As a middle school student, shouldn't the composition need to be revised?
To modify an article, we must also master certain methods, often starting from both content and language. Generally, there are four kinds of content modification: reading, deleting, adding and correcting, while language modification is generally to modify defective words, words and sentences to make them more literary. Let's talk about the revision of the composition from two aspects: content and language.
I. Revision of the content of this article
(1) reading
After writing a composition, you should read it at least twice, as Mr. Lu Xun said. If it's a weekday practice, it's best not to watch it right away. Because you have just finished writing your composition, you still have a "thinking inertia" in your mind. If you find fault, you will miss a lot. After a few hours or days (not too long, of course), it will be better to finish other things and go back to reading. If you are writing in the examination room, it is best to check other topics on the Chinese paper before reading the composition. But you must read it. If you can, you'd better read it first, just like reading other people's compositions. By reading aloud, you will feel that your composition language is catchy but not catchy. Generally speaking, if it is not catchy and awkward to read, there must be something wrong. After reading aloud, you should read silently, understand the "taste" of your composition from the aspects of conception, material selection, structure and language, and try to find out the faults of your composition according to your language level, and then delete, add and correct it according to the following methods.
(2) Delete
Generally, there are four situations that need to be deleted.
1. Content that has nothing to do with the theme or seems to be related to the theme but actually damages the theme should be deleted. Such as the composition "deskmate". A classmate wrote that her deskmate was a good student, and one of them wrote that she hid in the dormitory tent and did her homework with a flashlight after turning off the lights. The candidate's original intention was to highlight her studiousness, but it backfired. Because it doesn't reflect that she violates dormitory discipline, is not good at arranging time and doesn't pay attention to protecting her eyesight? Things like this that only consider one side will affect the whole theme and need to be deleted.
2. Empty comments or sensational ones should also be deleted. Such as "respecting teachers and loving students". A classmate only wrote more than 600 words, but it was discussed at the beginning. He only used more than 150 words to talk about the significance of Teacher's Day. Of course, it is ok to write this topic and mention Teacher's Day, but it is unnecessary to make such empty comments at the beginning of the narrative and should be deleted as appropriate.
3. Repetitive content, no matter how good, should be deleted. For example, "How to refute science in Chinese". A classmate cited six or seven examples of modern scientists in China as arguments to prove that learning science requires Chinese. In fact, this is a repetition. As long as one or two of the most representative ones are kept, the rest can be deleted.
4. Anything that is too far from the topic at the beginning or gild the lily at the end should be deleted. Such as "farmers' market". Some started writing when they got up in the early morning, and even couldn't sleep last night; Others talk about the bumper harvest in their hometown from the national agricultural policy, or how to squeeze traffic from the beautiful scenery along the way. These things that have nothing to do with the meaning of the question or are too far away should be deleted; Even if it matters, it should be left aside. Another example is to write an article about the feeling after reading. Obviously, the true feelings have been written. In order to improve the theme, it is often necessary to shout a few slogans or make a review. This gilded ending should also be deleted.
(3) Increase
There are roughly three situations that need to be supplemented:
1, you can highlight or deepen the theme to increase.
2. If the content is thin, you can increase the content and expand it appropriately. For example, a student wrote an argumentative essay "On Hard Struggle". At the beginning, he gave several examples to illustrate that only hard work can start a business and stay in the business world. When I revised it, I felt that the content was thin, so I added several negative examples to show that if I stop working hard and enjoy corruption after victory, it will inevitably lead to failure. In this way, by comparing the advantages and disadvantages, the content will be enriched.
3. Where the description is not specific, you can add a description to make it vivid. For example, a student wrote "My Favorite Bubble Fish", which is fluent in language, but not specific. Here's a sentence: "I once raised a bubble fish, and the orange one was so beautiful." Where is "nice"? I don't know. So when I revised the article, I added: "Especially its big eyes, like glass balls, sway when swimming, which makes people fondle it." Very vivid, very vivid.
(4) Change
There are four main situations that need to be changed:
1. If the change is not conducive to clarifying the theme or highlighting the center, it should be changed. For example, to refute the case of using Chinese in science, it will be much more convincing to refute the question of "why use Chinese in science" by changing the angle of argument selection, that is, retaining an example of a modern scientist in China and replacing it with scientists of different nationalities, different times and different disciplines as arguments.
2. Context disjointed or lack of care must be changed. For example, practicing the penultimate paragraph of Little Brother, "I saw my little brother pushing home from the crowd, and I watched his distant figure through the rain curtain, and the song" I am a waiter "sounded in my ear ..." What is my little brother doing home? There is no explanation in the first draft. Later, when it was revised, the author added, "Ah, there are coal cakes at home!" "As can be seen from the context, he went back to get the coal cake for others. Such an echo will make the reader understand.
3. A person's long speech in narrative should be changed by dividing this person's long speech into several layers in an orderly manner and inserting some questions and reactions from others in each layer; Or add some of your own actions and demeanor, and the article will be lively.
4. Detailed case arguments in argumentative papers should also be changed. The main method is to delete descriptive words and summarize a long narrative into a concise account.
Second, the article language changes
Whether the composition language is fluent or not and whether there are sick sentences are important criteria for passing or failing the composition. Poor language and many sick sentences will not only make others feel that your composition language is unqualified, but also affect others' understanding of the ideas and contents of your composition, and the loss will be doubled. Whether the language of the composition is literary or not and whether there are good sentences is also an important criterion for the Excellence of the composition. If your composition is literary and contains some admirable sentences, you will get high marks even if the content is poor. Therefore, when revising the composition, we must pay attention to modifying the language.
There are two levels of language modification: one is "from zero to zero", which modifies faulty words, words and sentences; The second is "from zero to zero" to make words, words and sentences more literary.
(A) the word and word modification
Text modification is mainly to correct typos (including punctuation), which is not discussed here, but you should know that this is one of the things that must be done to modify the composition.
The correction of incorrect words is discussed together with the modification of sick sentences. Here is mainly about how to change the word "from zero to zero".
First, let's look at a set of sentences:
The man was in a hurry and shouted, "What are you afraid of? Why not take it! " Lao Tie is still hesitating; Men in black grabbed lanterns, tore off paper covers, wrapped steamed buns and stuffed old ties; Grab the foreign currency in one hand, pinch it, and turn around and leave. Mouth humming said, "this old thing ..."
The man was anxious and said, "What are you afraid of? Why not take it! " Lao Tie is still hesitating; The black dress person took the lantern, took off the paper cover, wrapped the steamed bread and handed it to Lao Tie. Foreign currency in one hand, counted it, turned around and left. Mouth whispered, "this old thing ..."
(1) was written by Mr. Lu Xun in the novel Medicine. (2) Some verbs in (1) were replaced by other verbs. You see, Mr. Lu Xun's vividness, accuracy and image have all been changed? On the other hand, if there is a second sentence first, please ask Mr. Lu Xun to modify it and change it into the first sentence. How good the review effect is! This is how we modify the words in the composition. Special attention should be paid to the revision:
1. The problem of expressing the same meaning with different words. Some meanings can be expressed by different words, but the expression effect is different. Everyone knows such examples as "Spring Breeze is green in Jiang Nanan", "Spring Breeze is green in Jiang Nanan" and "Spring Breeze is green in Jiang Nanan". Green, arrival and passing are different words. Do they have the same expression effect?
2. Use of synonyms. In the example given above, different words in two sentences are synonyms, but the use effect is different. The following is a sentence from an old man at the crossroads said by a classmate:
When the red light was on, the man (disobeying traffic rules) rushed out on his bike. Grandpa (an old man who helps the police keep traffic order) called him. He didn't seem to hear it, but he didn't stop him. At this time, a car passed quickly in front of him, which was very dangerous. Grandpa strode forward regardless of his own danger and finally stopped the man. The people watching him are very long.
There are three words "chong" in this sentence, which are monotonous and inaccurate in continuous use and should be revised. After modification, it is like this:
The red light came on and the man jumped out by bike. Grandpa called him, but he didn't hear him. Grandpa rushed to stop him, but he didn't. At this time, a car passed quickly in front of him, which was very dangerous. Grandpa strode forward regardless of his own danger and finally stopped the man. All the people watching took a deep breath.
The three words "rush", one is changed to "channeling", one is reserved, and the other is crossing. Is the effect much better?
If the effect of modifying only one word is not satisfactory, we should consider adding or deleting words, such as "striding forward again" in this example. If "striding forward" is deleted, the effect will be better.
(2) Modify the sentence
The modification of sentences is mainly the modification of sick sentences, which is "from zero to zero", and some rhetorical methods should be used hard, which is "from zero to zero"
1, modify the sick sentence
Junior high school students should be able to modify their own ill-defined sentences, such as improper collocation, incomplete components, misuse of function words, synonyms, improper word order and so on. , but also should modify redundant, unreasonable repetition, inconsistent, illogical and other ill-defined sentences.
Let's take a look at the following examples and experience the modification of sick sentences:
The past haunts me again. The past doesn't go well with wandering. )
When my mother and I walked onto the overpass and watched the endless stream of people, we were all very excited. The subject "we" is missing before "everyone is excited" )
I already know the hardships and setbacks in life, and the road to growth is always bumpy. ("Frustration" should be changed to a more appropriate synonym, and then "hardship" should be changed to "hardship", and the later "bumpy" should be changed to "rugged". )
This is a comprehensive example:
He began to talk about new lessons. He treats every question like a story. When it is gripping, he dances with his hands and feet. Whenever he comes up with exercises, he is more excited and always discusses with us. The classroom atmosphere is relaxed and harmonious.
This passage has some incomplete components, improper collocation and semantic repetition (please find it yourself). How about changing it to the following?
The new lesson has begun. He tells every question like a story to attract students. When it comes to exciting places, you have to dance. Whenever he instructs us to do exercises, he is even more excited. He always discusses the idea of solving problems with us. The relationship between teachers and students is very harmonious and the classroom atmosphere is relaxed and active.
Whether sick sentences can be modified depends mainly on how you usually learn the basic knowledge of Chinese. From here, we can realize that composition is an organic part of Chinese learning, and basic knowledge, reading and composition complement each other, so we must not improve our writing level without Chinese class.
2. "Overcorrection cannot be overdone", or "correction must be overcorrected".
In order to express their meaning more thoroughly and effectively, some students often have the problem of "overcorrection" in language. Sometimes it is written in style, and sometimes it is changed when it is revised. For example, in order to illustrate the relationship between life and composition, someone wrote:
Life is inseparable from composition, and composition is inseparable from life.
This sentence, grammatically speaking, is not a sick sentence, but if you think about it carefully, it's too much: composition can't be separated from life and mistakes. Can life be divorced from composition? If life is inseparable from composition, what should many grandparents do if they can't write composition?
For another example, some students often write too many people when describing something. There is a saying that:
Nowadays, middle school students forget their parents' birthdays, but clearly remember their good friends' birthdays.
There are such middle school students, but they are definitely not "forgotten". "Du" stands for 100%, not bad!
The use of rhetoric is also exaggerated and distorted, such as the following two sentences:
I opened my schoolbag with difficulty, took out a bottle of water, took two gulps, and then heard the sound of water hissing into steam when it met high temperature in my throat.
The author's original intention was to exaggerate his hunger and thirst at that time, and the result was too distorted, too excessive, incredible and ridiculous.
Deafening thunder, like an atomic bomb explosion, is thrilling.
People often hear thunder, and almost no one has ever heard the sound of an atomic bomb exploding. The metaphor of this sentence is more difficult to feel than the noumenon, which is not only improper metaphor, but also excessive use of words and should be revised.
The problem of "over-correction" in language is also manifested in the use of some long sentences and too many modifiers. If it is not good, it is better to use easy-to-understand language. If you can't achieve "above zero", it is better to use "zero".
We have compared the following two sentences before, now let's compare them again and experience the disadvantages of being too correct.
In the milky haze, the gentle spring breeze gently caressed the graceful weeping willows by the river. On this charming night, I was as drunk as a dream. Frogs in the distance and nearby come and go one after another, like dense drums coming into my ears. I seem to smell the warm-hearted fragrance of the soil from my hometown.
In the gloom, the spring breeze gently brushed the weeping willows by the river. Facing this charming night, I feel intoxicated. In the ups and downs of frogs and drums, I seem to smell the fragrance of the soil in my hometown.
Fourth, after-school training:
1, let students approve each other's compositions.
Requirements:
(1) Correct typos and ill sentences in other people's articles. (2) Delete unnecessary sentences.
(3) Expand the specific places in the text. (4) Revealing the main idea of the article can be written better.
2. Send the pre-printed student exercises to the students, and ask the students to add comments next to them according to the above requirements to compare who revised them better.
On how to cultivate students' ability to revise their compositions.
The article is ever-changing and tireless. Some people say that the article is not written, but changed. It's true. There are many stories of famous writers revising articles in literary circles at all times and in all countries. Their articles are still tireless and catchy to read. It can be seen that revision is an indispensable and important process in writing and an important measure to improve the quality of composition.
It is common for students to throw away their pens after writing a composition, no matter whether the composition is good or not. They think that correcting the composition is the teacher's business, and finishing the composition by themselves is success. The new curriculum standard points out: pay attention to guiding students to improve their writing ability in the process of independent revision. Only by thinking with your own head and revising with your own hands can you effectively improve the quality of articles and improve your writing ability. As Mr. Ye Shengtao said, the teacher's revision is not as good as the student's own revision, and the student's revision is not limited to the composition in class. It is necessary to form the habit of revising whatever you write. It is beneficial to life to regard the revision of composition as a thinking process and cultivate one's ability to revise. Judging from the nature of Chinese as a "basic tool for study and work" and the long-term interests of students, this is indeed the key to composition teaching, but it is quite difficult to really do this. How to cultivate students' ability to revise their compositions? The following is my humble opinion:
First, combine reading with reform, and promote reform by reading.
Reading teaching is an important part of Chinese teaching, and it is also the most effective way for teachers to cultivate students' writing revision ability. The articles in the textbook are carefully conceived by the author. Every sentence, every word, embodies the author's painstaking efforts. In the teaching of reading texts, teachers can purposefully let students know the author's layout, choose words and make sentences, make use of the law of learning transfer, and let students use the methods they have learned to modify their compositions, thus improving their ability to modify their compositions.
Mr. Ye Shengtao thinks: "Reading is the most convenient and effective way to modify articles." "Revising the manuscript is not just about reading, but about reading." In the author's usual writing class, students are not in a hurry to hand in their compositions. Instead, they are asked to read their compositions in a low voice, or they can exchange readings with their classmates. Through reading, they can find the shortcomings in their own or others' compositions and correct them in time. In the process of composition evaluation, students are instructed to use "four reading and four steps" to correct compositions: the first reading focuses on the selection of materials; Second reading, near the center, adding or deleting; The third reading changes the word order of sick sentences; Read and correct punctuation and typos. As long as we insist on the combination of reading and reform, and promote reform through reading, students' ability to revise their compositions will certainly be improved.
Second, bilateral correction to promote reform.
Batch is the basis of reform, batch serves for reform, and reform is the purpose of batch. However, most teachers failed to understand the relationship between approval and correction, did not correctly handle the relationship between approval and correction, and were responsible for the correction work, resulting in students losing their ability to correct.
(A) after the approval of teachers, students have changed.
When correcting a composition, we should separate the batch from the correction. In the process of correcting students' homework, teachers can draw various symbols or eyebrows where they need to be modified, and guide students to modify themselves. After correcting, don't rush to correct or write comments. In this way, after students are assigned to the composition, they will not put the scores or comments directly into their schoolbags after reading them. When students are beginners, they need to revise their compositions under the guidance of teachers, such as what the symbols drawn by teachers mean, what the eyebrows added mean and how to revise them. Over time, students will consciously understand the symbols and eyebrows added by the teacher after each composition, and carefully revise them according to the teacher's comments.
(2) face-to-face reform
Face-to-face criticism is the most typical way of teaching students in accordance with their aptitude, which can quickly feedback students' revision. On the basis of correcting in writing, the teacher invited the students to the front, let them read the composition by themselves, and talk about their own revision opinions on the corrected mistakes. Some students can't read the papers, or they can't make their own amendments. Teachers can personally explain the specific revision guidance, help them analyze and guide the revision, and lay the foundation for cultivating students to revise their compositions.
Third, mutual approval and reform will help promote reform.
After writing a composition, students are limited to the level, and often have formed a mindset about their own articles and can't find anything wrong. Teachers can probably read it first, point out the obvious shortcomings, and then let students improve their ability to modify their compositions through mutual evaluation and correction. There are two ways to correct each other: 1, which forms a four-person mutual correction team and corrects each other in many directions. One read his own exercise, and the other three discussed it after listening and put forward suggestions for revision. In this way, we will discuss the revision one by one. 2. The advantages and disadvantages change with each other. Revise excellent articles for students who have difficulties in writing, so that they can set an example to learn, and they will not feel too hard when revising; Correct inferior compositions for students with high writing ability, so that they have the opportunity to display their talents, and improve the level of evaluation and correction through mutual correction.
Of course, it is not enough to ask students to revise. Teachers should check their own revisions in time, review the composition after copying, and then grade it according to the revision, and conduct a second centralized evaluation, focusing on praising students who have seriously revised their compositions and recommending revised chapters and fragments, which is an affirmation and encouragement for students to seriously revise their compositions.
In short, good articles are half being drafted and half being revised. As Mr. Ye Shengtao said, it is a good habit to read it from beginning to end after writing it, and to review and revise it yourself immediately. After writing, stand in the reader's position and read your own article to see if it is catchy and pleasant. It is also a good habit to comment on your own articles from the perspective of the masses. These good habits have been formed and will be used for a lifetime. Therefore, as a Chinese teacher, we must teach students how to modify their compositions and cultivate their ability to modify their compositions.