My hair is small, and I was urged to get married by her mother.
Her mother gave her marriage a final death order: when she goes home this Spring Festival, she must bring her boyfriend back. She is always worried when she hears such words.
When you are worried, you don't even want to go home.
Because of looking for a boyfriend, she had dozens of conflicts with her mother at home. Anyway, as long as she is at home, her mother will take it out for an hour or two.
She called her mother. As soon as she talked about the boy she met recently, her mother couldn't wait to ask, "What's the matter, can you bring it back this New Year?"
When I was a child, I couldn't help crying: I'm not crazy yet, mom. What are you in a hurry to do?
Every time someone introduces her, as long as she refuses, her mother will scold her: "Don't be too picky, you don't know what to choose."
When she was young, she was speechless. She knew exactly what kind of person she was looking for. Some people are not suitable and must be rejected. A twisted melon is not sweet. If you don't like it, you can't force yourself to be with each other.
Unfortunately, the mother who grew up did not understand this.
She attributed the reason why she didn't have a boyfriend when she was young to being too picky and kept urging her to recognize the reality. It is enough for boys to be good-natured, so don't care so much about others.
Every time I communicate with her, I deeply feel that the parents' generation often have the same view on persuading their children to find boyfriends: nice people.
This is really important, but it doesn't mean that being nice means everything.
Just say that during the Spring Festival last year, my mother asked her family to introduce her to a boy. They really have nothing to talk about, and she thinks it's inappropriate, but her mother heard the introducer say that this boy is practical and reliable, and advised her to try.
Fa Xiao is 26 years old and has been pushed to a new height by her mother's various marriage urges. As soon as she got home, her mother took it out and said, whose daughter is as old as her, whose child is born, whose mother is younger than herself, and whose granddaughter she holds.
Being young is annoying, but I can't help it.
02
Many parents regard their children's marriage and career as a task that they must complete in their lives.
Just like my mother said something similar: "Only when you two children get married will our task be completely completed."
Mothers are used to playing worrying roles.
This is a good starting point in itself, but because it runs counter to children's ideas, it is too late, so it is easy to have the opposite effect in many cases.
I know a boy who often doesn't go back for the New Year because his parents urge him to get married. Because Chinese New Year is the most powerful reminder, his parents don't listen to him at all. Anyway, it's unfilial not to bring my girlfriend back.
He has a hundred arguments.
With the progress of the times and the development of society, many things can no longer be generalized.
Let's just say, in my parents' day, if I was over 25 and didn't get married, I was really old. My parents are anxious at home, and they must be anxious, worried that they will not get married.
But now, many people at this age have just graduated from college for less than two years, not to mention staying at school. For example, one of my female classmates graduated from graduate school at the age of 27, and another teacher resigned at the age of 29 and chose to study PhD.
The choice of life has been greatly expanded in this era, and everyone has the right to pursue their dreams, not just to get married.
A life of struggle is meaningful.
In the words of my childhood: "My own financial ability is still not stable. Shouldn't I work hard to live a good life for myself first, and then find someone to marry and then become an accessory in marriage? "
After all, married, in most cases, girls still have to pay more for their families and make some adjustments accordingly.
I have several female classmates. After marriage, because of their children, they all chose to quit their jobs and take full-time care of their children at home, hoping to wait until their children go to kindergarten before going out to work.
Nowadays, many young people think that falling in love is a natural meeting. If two people like each other, they will be together. You don't have to force yourself if you don't like it. I will practice myself first so that one plus one is greater than two or equal to two.
03
In my parents' time, I believe many words were their parents' matchmakers. The introduction at home felt similar, and then I got engaged.
My mother told me that she and my father had never met before they got married, and the two families were far apart and didn't know each other's personalities. Getting married feels like a lottery, and it's all luck to get the upper or lower sign.
If we draw a batch, most of them can still live for a lifetime.
There is an aunt in my hometown who is in her fifties this year. She was often beaten black and blue by her husband when she was young. Her husband has countless shortcomings, but even so, she has never been divorced.
Sometimes, it's really not that the sun is slow and the cars and horses are slow. Meeting is a lifetime, but a word "forbearance".
Don't worry if you are over 50, your children and grandchildren will be blessed.
I admire a kind of parents who don't interfere with their children's excessive affairs, but choose to live their own lives hard.
I have spent most of my life, and I have worked hard. Now is the age to enjoy happiness, why bother with meaningless problems?
Because according to the phenomenon I have seen, most children in love will not become predestined friends because of their parents' urging, but will only increase their troubles and hurt the feelings between their parents more seriously.
I have seen an extreme example.
My sister's friend used to be urged to get married by her parents at home. She really stands in front of her every day and says that in addition to urging marriage, she also urges marriage, as if it is a big violation for her not to get married.
Unbearable, she later compromised and married the object introduced by her parents. That boy, like her, will be badly urged by his parents at home.
The problem is that the two of them have no feelings at all and don't have electricity with each other. On the contrary, both parents are very active. On the second day of blind date, they sat together to discuss marriage. Later, everything at the wedding was also managed by both adults.
Later, she got married at 29 and divorced at 30. After the divorce, the first thing she said was, "Now they won't rush me."
04
Getting married is really not a task. It doesn't mean that marriage is over. Marriage just opens the curtain for two people to get along.
It is not sweet to twist a melon, and most of the marriages that make do are not easy to last.
As parents, you can get married, but you can't live the rest of your child's life.
Life is alive, spring and autumn change, short or not, long or not. When I come to this world, I think the most important thing is to live happily.
People over 50 should have this awareness.
There is an aunt in the circle of friends, who is the mother of one of my college classmates. She was nearly 40 years old and gave birth to my classmate. Now she is over 60, but she can't tell from her appearance. She is the kind of person who leads a dissolute life.
She never urges my classmates to say that children have children. She respects all her wishes.
She frequently updates her circle of friends. Today she dances here with a group of sisters and will go there for an outing tomorrow. During this time, she went out to travel again, or she laughed happily with five or six partners in every photo.
The classmate said that she asked her mother what would you do if I never got married in my life?
Her mother replied, "When you get old, I won't be there at that time. What can I do? "
I think so. Everything comes to nothing in the end. What we can do is to make life more lively. Too much worry is useless except adding troubles.
Let nature take its course, and maybe you can reap a different life.