A flash of text is better than nothing.
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The text reads as follows:
Crosstalk Name: Elevator Adventure (also called elevator storm)
Performer: Tang Jiezhong Jiang Kun
Yang Yang recommended: This cross talk is another masterpiece of Jiang Kun after Falling Out of the Tiger's Hole. He went to the "efficiency building" to reflect the problem, and ended up trapped in an antique elevator. When he met a group of leaders who shouted slogans and engaged in formalism, he just did nothing. Crosstalk satirizes this so-called "efficiency".
The lines of this cross talk are as follows, for your appreciation only:
Jiang: Comrade, I have an idea recently.
Don: What do you think?
Jiang: You said that a crosstalk performer like you, locking you in a big iron cage, putting some food and selling tickets, would certainly attract many people?
Don: That's right! Don't refuse me. The people you put in will be watched.
Jiang: Then let's do it!
Don: What! About people?
Jiang: I was locked up once!
Don: In a cage?
Jiang: It's like a cage!
Don: What?
Jiang: Elevator.
Don: Elevator?
Jiang: The old elevator. A big iron gate, so tight, you can see the inside from the outside, and the inside can also see the outside. There is a big iron weight beside it. As soon as the weight went up, the elevator came down. As soon as the elevator went up, the iron weight came down, and I was locked here.
Don: When was this elevator?
Jiang: I'm not sure. My great-grandmother called him uncle according to his seniority.
Don: Where can there be such an elevator?
Jiang: About the newly-built efficiency building in our district.
Don: Efficiency Building ... What did you do there?
Jiang: reflect the problem!
Don: Is there a problem?
Jiang: Our residential building always stops water supply in summer, and the children have to take a bath and rub mud, making the children in our building look like carrots!
Don: Then report it quickly!
Jiang: Did you reflect it? From summer to winter, water comes!
Don: Not bad!
Jiang: The heating is gone again!
Don: Worse!
Jiang: The neighborhood committee quickly organized a disco class for the elderly, saying it was to solve the heating problem.
Don: Can this be solved?
Jiang: No, my aunt from the neighborhood committee came to see me and said that our cross talk eloquence easily attracted the attention of the leaders. Let me reflect again that I will come to this efficiency building!
Don: Don't ask, it must be inefficient.
Jiang: As soon as I entered the door, I saw a big elevator like an iron cage, one here and one there. Which one do you suggest I take?
Don: Well, help yourself!
Ginger: That's where bad luck lies! As the saying goes, it is easier said than done. I haven't come down since I called!
Don: The elevator won't go?
Jiang: No? Come on! Just listen to "bang-bang!"
Don: What's wrong?
Jiang: This iron gate is locked! Listen to the "whoosh" again, it's the fifth floor!
Don: So soon?
Jiang: I can't help being unhappy! Do you think the weight of iron, what weight do I have, is it dragging me away from the game? !
Don: Why do I sound so mysterious?
Jiang: The mystery is yet to come! On the fifth floor, I was just about to open the door when I heard "whoosh-"
Don: How about it?
Jiang: It's coming down again.
Don: Nothing?
Jiang: It didn't come for nothing. Only heard a whoosh, it came up again, a whoosh, it came down again, a whoosh, a whoosh-boy, it whooshed me more than 60 times in less than 20 minutes!
Don: That's elevator trouble. Do something!
Jiang: I've tried everything! I jumped and jumped, smashed and knocked, kicked and scratched in it. ...
Don: Be careful, if you try to knock that big iron off, you will slide to the end!
Jiang: Don't tell me that the elevator really stopped after all this trouble! If you don't want to panic about anything, then you are just like me. If you shave twice ... (look up and down), will you scratch?
Don: Didn't it stop?
Jiang: Yes. It's not in the right place!
Don: Where?
Jiang: On the third floor, I saw my feet crossing the iron fence, and on the fourth floor, I pulled my head in half!
Don: Just taking a break!
Cingil: It is all your fault. You gave me an idea that I could do whatever I wanted. I want to get on the elevator over there. I ... I looked through the bars. Wow, the elevator over there is also stuck there!
Don: Everything is out of order. You, please call someone!
Jiang: shout, I shout "oh ~ ~ ~ ~ ~".
Don: What's that noise?
Jiang: Just this one, it really worked. Everyone on the first floor confessed!
Don: Yes, I don't know what's going on!
Jiang: Everyone is looking for it. There was an eagle-eyed man on the fourth floor: "Don't look! In the elevator here! Hey, I got it! Well, it's quite big and alive! " (startled) "Oh, you are still blinking!"
Don: Yes, I'm still breathing!
Jiang: At this time, the leader came: "You will catch everything from the beginning!" ! Let me see, let me see what I've caught ... Hey, isn't this Jiang Kun who said cross talk? "
Don: I know you!
Jiang: "What are you doing here?"
Don: Is this a game?
Jiang: "oh, go deep into life ... he is really deep, just showing his head!" ”！ Crosstalk actor, really slippery, taking the elevator is different from others. He is holding it alone on the second floor, which is really an artist's demeanor! "
Don: People are reflecting this problem. ...
Jiang: "Don't mention it! Give us some time while you're in there! Come on, everybody clap! "
Don: Now, open the door first and let people out!
Ginger: "Don't give it away! Open it! He's gone! This thing is really fast! Who is responsible for driving! "
Don: What kind of leader is this?
Jiang: I can't blame others for thinking too much. They don't understand what is going on!
Don: Yes, you should make things clear quickly!
Jiang: As soon as I speak, the leader is anxious. One of them stood up and said, "Look, look, what did I say? I knew there was something wrong with this old elevator, but I just didn't say it! "
Don: Why didn't you say anything?
Jiang: "I, I am the food section chief ... I also started from this double increase and double festival. Although this elevator is old, I don't care how it can still move. I will pull a cargo and a person, or I will push the cart if it doesn't fall down. Anyway, I won't take it! "
Don: What about shutting people down now?
Jiang: "As far as I'm concerned, it's not easy. The problem has already happened, so I won't pursue it, try to solve it! "
Don: That's right!
Jiang: "Let me say something about myself. My personal opinion may be immature. Encourage you to change if you have it. " I guess you can't get out for three or five days. I think the key to this problem ... why don't you join us first? "
Don: Huh? Do you eat here?
Jiang: "hey, our catering work is still in the district." Comrade Jiang Kun, let me briefly report to you about our food and beverage department-I have a year-end summary here, and here is a small hat: the red flag of Wan Li is flying, and everyone is full of energy. Food work is really important. Health and epidemic prevention should be done well ... "
Don: Hurry up, hurry up, there are still people locked up here!
Jiang: "Save people first, right?" ..... it's none of my business, and I have no experience. An actor like you does propaganda work ... hey, Lao Li, the propaganda section chief, why don't you talk here? Pay attention to a counterpart in everything! "
Don: Oh, there is also a publicity section chief here.
Jiang: "I'm not saying nothing. I knew this old elevator would break down sooner or later, so I didn't say anything! ”"
Don: Why didn't you say anything?
Jiang: "I want to see who locked it up! It is not surprising that such an old elevator can accommodate people, but it is strange if it can't. "
Don: What about shutting people down now?
Jiang: "This is a difficult problem! For you personally, locking you in is a bad thing; But for the overall situation, for our entire revolutionary cause ... this is not good, is it? So this is the contradiction between the new building and the old elevator during the exchange of the old and new systems. At present, you are locked in there, and you are not used to it yet, are you? "
Don: It hurts!
Jiang: "What if it takes a long historical period?"
Don: That's ... even more unbearable!
Jiang: "So, you should strengthen your study, enrich yourself and often walk among the masses ..."
Don: Can he walk out?
Jiang: "Give some encouragement! Our slogan is: work hard 100 days, have a good first meeting ... this door doesn't seem to open, does it? Then our slogan is: come to work happily and go home safely ... you can't go home, can you? Then our slogan is ... "
Don: Don't just shout slogans, do something practical! Now people are locked in!
Jiang: "Oh, are you alone here? People ... people's things belong to the personnel department. After studying for a long time, the party and government still have to divide! Director of personnel, you come, you come, I just said a brick and a jade! "
Don: It seems that you have to listen to the personnel section chief!
Jiang: "Let me say something. You all saw something wrong with this old elevator, didn't you? "As for me, I saw it three years later, but I just didn't say it! "
Don: Have you all discussed it?
Jiang: "You said you were here and locked up for several days. Are you in a hurry? "
Don: What a hurry!
Jiang: "Can you solve the problem just by worrying?"
Don: It can't be solved.
Jiang: "It's closed all the time. Is that a thing? "
Don: This is not a thing!
Jiang: "If you don't go to work, it will take a long time. Can the leader of your unit promise? "
Don: No!
Jiang: "If everyone is as closed as you are, can the' four modernizations' be realized?"
Don: It's impossible.
Jiang: "Can the motherland be reunified?"
Don: It is impossible to unify.
Jiang: "The Thirteenth National Congress proposed that such an old combat mission could ..."
Don: I said, you can understand that he can't get out unless he wants to be locked up here!
Jiang: "I'll start with this problem and solve it for you within my authority, okay?"
Don: Great!
Jiang: "Efficiency, just do it!" I will send a business letter to your company to deal with your relationship. Even if you go to work by elevator, you are on duty during the day and at night. Sleep if you want, and you can't help catch the bad guys. What do you think of my idea? "
Don: That's disgusting! He's locked in there. Can he catch the bad guys?
Jiang: "those enemies are wandering around outside, and you are watching inside?"
Don: Aren't you going to watch it?
Jiang: "The enemy of that class ran away, and you didn't even chase it?"
Don: Can I go out?
Jiang: "You won't give me a leg to sweep there, will you?"
Don: Can I stretch my legs?
Ginger: "It's up to you to catch it or not. Anyway, that's what the leader arranged! I'm here to solve your problem. If you want to solve it further ... hey, director Wang of the office, you're here. You must make up your mind. We can't hang ourselves from a tree. You come and you come! "
Don: Director Wang, make up your mind quickly!
Jiang: "Let me tell you something about the elevator ..."
Don: I knew it! I just won't say it!
Jiang: "How do you know?"
Don: You all have this problem!
Jiang: I am in a hurry, too. I said, "What are you talking about? Do you still solve the problem? You always lock me up if you dare! Don't let me out! I'll make up a cross talk for you when you come out! I will learn from you one by one! I tell you all over the country! I ... "
Tang: What did Director Wang say?
Jiang: Director Wang is also anxious: "No, no, comrade, don't do this. We are still contradictions among the people. Why do we make the whole country know? " What a bad influence! Who said not to solve it for you? In my opinion, there are two ways to solve the problem, one is to rely on the leadership from above, and the other is to rely on the masses below-comrades like you who are closed in the middle are out of reach and unreliable on all sides. In short, you are thirteen years old! "
Don: Play mahjong!
Jiang: "Who plays mahjong? I want to deduct his bonus for playing mahjong at work! Isn't it a bit humane to play mahjong when the work of saving people is so tense? Let's go Cadres at or above the department level followed me to the conference room on the sixth floor to study rescue measures, and they all left-Comrade Jiang Kun, my personal opinion is that you won't attend first? "
Don: Can he go? -I said, they this meeting, also sometime when to study!
Jiang: Needless to say, this efficiency building is really efficient. Soon, the food section chief came back: "Comrade Jiang Kun, I have a good news for you. We have solved it! "
Don: That was quick!
Jiang: "Your food standard is set at two dollars and sixty cents. At noon, there are four Joy Meetballs egg soups, and one meal is mainly made of six steamed buns. Is this enough? "
Don: Study this!
Jiang: "What do you think of the efficiency of our catering department? Coming! " I saw, hey, steaming steamed bread, such a big ball, I am greedy!
Don: Eat!
Ginger: The iron gate is blocked. I can't get in!
Don: Not yet!
Ginger: The children watching the fun had an idea: "Uncle, let's break the steamed bread and meatballs and throw them in. Mind your mouth! " "
Don: Hey, children have quick brains!
Jiang: What's the hurry? Children in the zoo are good at teasing bears!
Don: Well, I've seen this before.
Jiang: I eat from east to west. When I'm half full, drinking soup becomes a problem.
Don: You can't throw it.
Cingil: The child has an idea. He took out the water gun and filled it with soup!
Don: OK!
Jiang: Don't brag! If you have no hair on your mouth, you can't handle things firmly. You have a good eye, and I am full of egg soup!
Don: What's it like?
Jiang: At this moment, the propaganda chief came again: "Comrade, I have a good news for you. We have solved it! "
Don: Have you worked it out again?
Jiang: "We think it is very rare to leave a crosstalk performer like you here. In order to commemorate you, we decided to give you a glorious title, such as planting trees and killing rats as a model, without accidents for 100 kilometers ... "
Don: Huh?
Jiang: "These places are full, so we won't consider them. According to your performance, we decided to hang a plaque for you here in the elevator, with four big words written on it:' Lonely Hero'. What do you think? "
Don: Even unbearable!
Jiang: At this time, the personnel chief also came.
Don: What did he learn?
Jiang: "Xiao Jiang, if you copy this time, you have to be a section chief!" " "
Don: Boss?
Jiang: "We studied it just now. Starting from taking care of the influence of our unit, we decided to let you enjoy departmental treatment here. Your qualifications are a bit unusual! There are insects in melon seeds and all kinds of kernels. As long as he closes a section chief, this person will be lucky. You don't know which cloud has rain! "
Don: Is this luck?
Jiang: At the moment, the director of the office is here.
Don: Don't ask, he also worked it out!
Jiang: No, he discussed with me: "I heard that there is a crosstalk performer here, and there are more and more people around the door, and the masses are very enthusiastic." In order to limit the number of people, we decided to sell tickets for the visit, and the fare will be set at 30 cents. Do you think it's appropriate? "
Don: Selling tickets with you?
Ginger: "Go, make a basin of hot water, wash your face, look at this egg soup and bury more!" " Spending 30 cents makes people look clean and can't fool the masses! "
Don: I think you are the only one who is joking!
Jiang: As I spoke, the crowd lined up and passed me with their heads down, as if to pay tribute to the body.
Don: Why do you keep your head down?
Jiang: I am at the bottom!
Don: That's right, otherwise you wouldn't see it.
Jiang: At this time, it was getting dark, and I heard a female comrade shouting outside: "I said I would come out to reflect the problem and never look back. When I ask, I dare to sell tickets and exhibitions here alone! " As for you! Jiang Kun, where have you been hiding? Come out! Go home! "
Don: Yo, who's this?
Jiang: Our baby's mother!
Don: Look at that exciting scene!
Jiang: As soon as I told you what was going on inside, my wife almost cried. I quickly advised, "Mom, don't cry. I'm fine here. I tell you a good news. I became the section chief! The food standard is 2.6 yuan, and I ate ... egg soup at noon! "
Don: Forget it!
Jiang: "You wait at home, wait for the leader to learn, wait for me to go home, don't change your mind, you hold on!" " The darkness is about to pass, and the dawn is ahead! "
Don: Please don't take a stand!
Jiang: At this moment, the horn in the building rang: "Comrades, please pay attention! Attention, comrades! In order to rescue the people trapped in the elevator, the leaders held a meeting to study and put forward more than 50 schemes. Finally, after drawing lots, they decided to adopt the new technology introduced from abroad-"
Don: What technology?
Jiang: "Directional blasting!"
Don: Blasting?
Jiang: "In order to ensure safety and prevent accidents, please leave the building 50 meters away quickly and 50 meters away quickly!" " Hearing this, my wife said, "Jiang Kun, let's go!" ! "I said," you stay and I'll cover! "
Don: Can you do that?
Jiang: If you can't, you have to! My wife is anxious and wants to cry. Several leaders came to persuade her: "Cry, cry, no problem. I saw the young people picking and blasting. They are five big and three thick, and they left with such a big explosive bag. It is estimated that six steamed buns are not enough! "
Don: This is the head of the food department.
Jiang: "Don't worry, comrade lover, this directional blasting is very powerful. When such an old elevator explodes, it will turn into powder and noodles. Never mind, this explosion is broken, there is a phone over there! "
Don: Oh, you don't care about others!
Jiang: "People are in charge of the personnel department!" "
Don: What did the HR director say?
Ginger: "Ginger, copy it again. This imported explosive means that you and I will help you blow it up. If it were someone else, his level would not be good enough. Do you think this explosive will explode ... well, you stare inside, I'll go first! "
Don: Let's go!
Jiang: That's right. Director Wang in someone's office should do something serious!
Don: What did he say?
Jiang: "talk less, do practical things, and get angry quickly!" Go away, Comrade Jiang Kun, don't be afraid, this thing may or may not ring! "
Don: Huh? I'm scared!
Jiang: I have to have an attitude after the leader has finished speaking. I said, "Comrades, leave me alone! Danger, I'll go! If you want to win, shoot me! Well, what, Interna Sonnell, must be realized! " 198765 ...
Don: Light the fire!
Jiang: As soon as I saw everyone leaving, I didn't want to insist any more. I'll lie down with my hands on my head and listen to a bang!
Don: How about it?
Jiang: It really broke me down!
Don: OK!
Jiang: What a wonderful thing! It knocked me out of the elevator here and into the elevator there!
Don: Wow!