French writer Francois Rabelais (1494- 1553) once had something urgent to go to Paris, but he had no money to travel. what should he do ？ He got some colored powder, wrapped it in three bags, and wrote "medicine for the king", "medicine for the queen" and "medicine for the prince" on it, and then deliberately let the police see these things. After the police found it, they immediately arrested it and sent it to Paris as a major suspect.
After investigation, there was no basis for punishment, so we had to let him go. He achieved his goal of going to Paris for free.
keep faith
The famous French poet J Coppe (1842— 1908) and 1884 were elected French academicians.
Once, the wife of an unknown writer came to Cope and asked him to help her husband elect an academician of the French Academy. She said, "As long as you have one vote, he will be elected. If he can't choose, he will definitely commit suicide. "
Coppe promised to take care of her request and voted for her husband. But this man was not selected. In a few months, the French Academy will fill a vacancy. This lady has come to see popular science again. Ask him for help again.
"Oh, no," replied Coppe, "I kept my promise, but he didn't. Therefore, it is not good for me to repeat my obligations. "
Poisonous potatoes
The French fable La Fontaine (1621-1695) used to eat a potato every morning. One day, he put a hot potato on the fireplace in the restaurant to cool down, and then left the room. However, when he came back, the potatoes were gone. Once a servant walked into the restaurant, La Fontaine guessed what had happened.
So he cried, "Ah! My God, who ate the potato I put on the fireplace? "
"Not me." The servant replied.
"That's great."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I put a little arsenic in the potato to poison the mouse!"
"Oh, my God! Arsenic 1 ... I am poisoned! "
"Don't worry, son, this is one or two of my tricks, in order to know the truth."
The staff in the cupboard
Jules verne, a famous French science fiction writer, has rich works, including 104 novels. It is said that he has a "writing company" with many writers and scientists, and he just occupies the fruits of others' labor.
After hearing this legend, a reporter went to interview it. Verne knew his purpose, smiled and led him into the studio, pointing to rows of cabinets and said to him, "All the staff in our company are in these cabinets. Please have a look! " The cupboard is full of different kinds of science and technology information cards.
It is easier to be a lover than a husband.
Balzac (1799-1850), a great French writer, never married when he was young. At the age of 33, he received a letter signed "stranger" from Ukraine. Later, he found that the letter was written by the countess Evelina Hanska. Since then, their love affair has intensified and lasted for 17 years. Although the count himself died in 184 1, Madame Hanska did not formally marry Balzac until five months before her death.
I don't know whether it was to explain the lifestyle he chose or out of humor. Balzac once said such a quip: "It's easier to be a lover than a husband. It's like showing off your machine all day is much more difficult than saying a one-liners occasionally. "
Can't touch the edge.
Madame Anne Starr (1766- 18 17) is a French writer. She is keen on social activities and has a glib tongue.
Once at a dinner party hosted by a politician, she and the beautiful Mrs. Camille happened to sit on both sides of a young dude. Throughout the evening, the public was very excited and proudly said to people, "Now I am between wisdom and beauty."
"It's really good, but you can't touch anything." Said Mrs Starr, squinting.
Shave off half.
Victor hugo (1802- 1885), a great French writer, was busy writing a work at that time, but social activities took up a lot of his time. One day, he came up with a unique trick: shaving his hair and beard in half respectively. When friends and relatives came, he pointed at his funny face and refused social dating. When his beard and hair were repaired, his masterpiece was a success.
Ask and answer skillfully
After Hugo wrote Les Miserables, he sent the manuscript to a publishing house. The manuscript didn't reply for a long time, so I drew a big "?" On the paper. Sent it to the publisher. Every few days, the publisher wrote back, and Hugo opened it. There was not a word on it, only a word "!" "
He knew there was hope. Sure enough, his Les Miserables was published soon and was a great success.
Pen dealer
Hugo once traveled abroad to the border. The gendarme wanted to check the registration and asked him, "Name?"
"Hugo."
"What do you do?"
"writing."
"What do you do?"
"pen."
So the gendarmerie wrote in the register: "Name: Hugo; Occupation: selling pens. "
The topic of heaven and hell
One day, the French writer and artist Jane Cocqueteaux (1889- 1963) took part in a conversation with many acquaintances present. On the way, a man mentioned the topic of heaven and hell, and let coquetry express his views. Cocqueteaux politely refused: "Please forgive me, I can't talk about these issues, because there are some of my relatives and friends there, whether in heaven or hell."
ancestors
Once, a banker asked Dumas, a famous French writer (1802-1870), "I heard that you are a quarter black, right?"
"I think so," Dumas said.
"What about your father?"
"Half black."
"Where's your father?"
"All black." Dumas replied.
"Excuse me, where is your great grandfather?" The banker asked the question to the end.
"apes." Dumas said solemnly.
"Are you kidding? How is this possible! "
"Really, it's an ape. Alexandre dumasfils said, "My family started with apes, and yours ended with apes. "
Fort Yves prison
In The Count of Mount Quito, Dumas arranged the French chateau Yves as a prison for Edmond Dantès and his cellmate Old Faria.
After the book was published in 1844, countless curious readers came to visit this gloomy castle. The keeper of the castle also solemnly introduced Dundees and Faria to each visitor. People's curiosity was satisfied. The watchman got a little tip accordingly.
One day, a well-dressed gentleman came to Fort Yves. As usual, the keeper showed him around the cell. After listening to the colorful monologue, the tourist asked, "So, do you know Edmond Dantès?"
"Yes, Sir, the poor child. You know, the world is so unfair to him, so sometimes I will give him more food or secretly give him a small glass of wine. "
"You are really a good man." The gentleman said with a smile and put a gold coin and a business card in the keeper's hand. "Please accept it. This is your well-deserved reward for my son. " The gentleman left, and the administrator glanced at the business card with the visitor's name printed on it in beautiful font: Dumas.
Another marshal could die.
An organization asked Dumas to write a eulogy for a person who died in a difficult situation. Dumas asked if the deceased was a Parisian literary and art person, and replied, "Not exactly, but he also frequented the literary and art circles. He is a bailiff in this area. "
"How much does this cemetery cost?" Dumas suddenly asked.
"25 francs."
"There are 50 francs here, which can bury two bailiffs." Dumas said.
Plums worth 65438+ million francs
1842, according to the judgment of the Seine Provincial Court, B.W. Kidu Mountain Castle was auctioned, and Dumas had to bid farewell to his home. When he left, Dumas handed a plate to a friend. There are two plums on the plate, and my friend chose one.
"You ate 65438+ ten thousand francs." Dumas cried.
"65438+ million francs?"
"Yes, these two plums-all the property left to me by Du Ji Mountain ... I spent 200,000 francs to buy this plum ..."
Be content with your own destiny
On one occasion, Dumas went to a restaurant in Germany for dinner. He wants to try the famous German mushrooms. But the waiter couldn't understand his French. He had a brainwave, drew a mushroom on the paper and handed it to the waiter.
When the waiter saw it, he suddenly realized and flew away.
Dumas smiled and enjoyed himself. He thought, "My painting is not as vivid as my words, but it is still good in the end, ok!" "
A quarter of an hour later, the waiter came back panting with an umbrella in his hand and said to him, "Sir, I found what you need!" " "
That gentleman made a mistake.
Dumas is generous, even if he loses everything, he still hates meanness. One day, coming out of the hotel, Dumas saw a millionaire give a 50-centimeter coin to the wardrobe manager in the locker room. The writer blushed and handed the clothing store owner a 100 franc note.
"Sorry, sir, I think you are mistaken!" The clothes delivery man handed the money back again.
"No, my friend," said Dumas, "that gentleman made a mistake." He pointed to the millionaire.
The most regrettable thing happened.
Dumas once had an argument with a successful young politician. The two men vowed to be at loggerheads and agreed to solve the problem through a duel. Just as they firmly hold their own views, they are all famous for their marksmanship. Under the arrangement of the middleman, they decided to draw lots and the loser would shoot himself. Dumas lost as a result.
With a gun in his hand, he walked into another room with a serious look and closed the door behind him. The companions present were anxiously waiting for the filming. After waiting for a long time, the gun rang.
Opponents and companions ran to the room. When I opened the door, I saw Dumas holding a smoking gun in his hand and said disappointedly to the bearer, "Gentlemen, the most regrettable thing happened-I missed it."
statistics
Dumas works are tortuous and touching. Dumas has many illegitimate children, so people who make fun of him often compare his works to his illegitimate children.
What bothers him most is Leona, secretary-general of the Paris Statistical Society, who is a friend of Dumas. Every time he gives a statistical example, he always says how many mistresses and illegitimate children Dumas have.
One year the Statistical Society held an annual meeting, and Dumas estimated that Leona would speak ill of him again. So he asked to attend the annual meeting and was approved. Sure enough, as Dumas expected, Leona lifted the stool of mistress and illegitimate child.
After Leona finished her report, she asked Dumas to give a speech. Du Masi, who has always been reluctant to give a speech in public, made an exception and said: "All statistics are lies, including those about me." The audience burst into laughter.
The best work
Dumas once gave birth to a boy by sewing with a girl. He is Dumas, the author of La Traviata.
1852, Dumas play La Traviata was warmly welcomed. He telegraphed Dumas, who was in exile in Brussels at that time, and said, "Too, too successful! Just like I saw the success of your first performance ... "
Dumas was ashamed of his son's great achievements in literature; He has both the joy of his father and the jealousy of his peers. He replied humorously, "My best work is you, my dear child!" " "
Write hard
One day, Dumas went to his father's house, saw his father was writing, and asked him how he was doing.
I'm so tired. The father replied.
"Then rest."
"no,"
"Why?"
Dumas opened the drawer of the table, pointed to two Louis and said to his son, "I had 53 francs on me when I came to Paris, and now I have only 40 francs left." I must finish it before I earn back 13 francs! "
No secrets.
Dumas' writing speed is amazing. He lived to be 68 years old. In his later years, he claimed to have written 1200 books all his life. Someone asked him, "You have been writing hard all day, why are you still full of energy the next day?"
He replied, "I didn't work hard at all."
"Then how can you write more and faster?"
"I don't know. Ask a spring why it always gushes out. "
A dozing person
A friend invited Dumas (1842-1895) to go to the theatre. During the performance, people stared at the stage.
Only Dumas turned around, facing the audience, kept mumbling:
"One, two, three ..."
"Honey, what are you doing?" The friend asked.
"Your script is on, I'm counting, and some people are dozing off," Dumas replied.
Soon, Dumas La Traviata was released, and they went to see it together.
This time, the friend kept looking back for someone who dozed off, looking around, and he even found one.
"Honey, didn't your audience of La Traviata doze off, too?"
Dumas looked at the place pointed by his friend and said solemnly, "Why, don't you know this man? He was the one who fell asleep at your play last time and hasn't woken up yet. "
The author chose the weapon of duel.
Georges Courteline (1858— 1929) is a famous French playwright and humorist.
Once, a pretentious young author wanted to make a splash, so he wrote to Kudrin and challenged him to a duel for three trivial reasons, but the letter really didn't get on the desktop: the handwriting was scrawled and there were even many spelling mistakes.
Kutlin wrote back to him quickly: "Dear Sir, because I am the one who hurt you, I will choose the weapon for the duel. I want to fight with orthography. You have failed before you receive this letter. "
The title of the play
Tristan Bernard (1866— 1947) occupies a special position in French film history. He wrote a lot of novels and plays in his life, the latter being especially famous. He is serious but not rigid, full of humor and often whimsical.
Once, a young playwright sent Bernard a work for advice. A few days later, he came to ask Bernard if the name of the play was appropriate. Bernard hasn't read the script yet. He thought for a moment and asked, "Are there any corners in your script?"
"No." The young man answered doubtfully.
"So, is there a drum?"
"No, the playwright is more confused.
"That's easy. Why not just change the title to "I don't smell drum music"? "
Puns made by authoritative people.
Once, Bernard made a humorous remark that made his friends laugh. A man who admired his talent and personality praised him and said, "Only you can say such wonderful things."
However, Bernard told him frankly that he had just read this quip in the newspaper.
"Are you? But you speak so naturally, as if from the heart. "
"You're right," Bernard said proudly. "The difference is that I have authority on it.
Yes "
Beggars should also have the right to take a vacation.
Bernard has a bad temper, but he is kind. There was once an old beggar who knew Bernard's temper like the back of his hand. He stood at Bernard's door at a certain time every day and got his wish every time.
Bernard can't stand it, but he can't refuse charity. Finally, one day, Bernard took out a large bill from his wallet instead of the usual small silver coins. The old beggar was so surprised that he could hardly believe it.
Bernard put the money in the old beggar's hat and said to him, "I will go to Normandy tomorrow and stay there for two months." This money is two months' salary paid to you in advance, and you also have the right to take a vacation. "
Best answer
Once, a French newspaper held a prize contest, and one of the questions was: If the Louvre, the largest museum in France, caught fire and only one painting was allowed, which one would you grab?
Results Among thousands of answers received by newspapers, Bernard won the prize for this question with the best answer. His answer is: "I grabbed the painting closest to the exit."
pull oneself together
Georges Feydeau is a famous French dramatist. He successfully created many comedies, and The Maxim Girl was a sensation. But when he first started writing, he was also given a cold shoulder by the audience. On the night of the first performance, Fedo mingled with the audience and booed with them.
"You are crazy!" A friend who found him grabbed him and said.
"Then I won't hear others scold me," he explained, "and I won't be too sad. "
Send the winner.
Once, Joe Fido was eating in a restaurant, and the waitress brought a lobster with a missing leg. He made no secret of his unhappiness. The waiter explained that the lobsters in the storage tank sometimes bite each other, and the defeated ones often become incomplete.
"All right, please take this away," Fedo ordered. "Send me the winner."
Too many ideas.
Marcel Aymé (1902— 1967) is one of the most famous French writers in the 20th century. One day, a reporter complained to Aimee that modern society hindered the free development of mankind.
"I don't agree with you," Aimee said gently. "I feel completely free."
"But there is no doubt that you have to admit that your freedom is limited."
"That's true," Aimee replied. "From time to time, I find that I am greatly limited by dictionaries."