I remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and my teacher took us to the wild for a natural practice class.
Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to tell the wind direction?"
"I know!" A little girl in my class replied, picking up a leaf from the ground and throwing it into the air. "Pick up something and throw it into the air."
Look at it floating there, and you will know. ""well, good. "The teacher praised," Who else would like to show you? "
Look at what wind is blowing now. ""me. " I volunteered to come out, picked up half a brick from the ground and threw it into the air. ...
"Teacher, it's blowing up and down now!" …………。
I can't remember clearly what the teacher looked like at that time. I only remember that he struggled a few times and then died. Later, according to the hospital,
The doctor said that he died because of sudden intense stimulation, which led to the retrograde possession of qi and blood. In this way, I killed a people's teacher
The first grade teacher taught us poultry and animals.
Teacher: "There is an animal with two feet. Every morning when the sun comes out, it will wake you up and wake you up. Where is it? "
An animal? "
I replied, "Mom!" Laughing so hard that the teacher almost died!
After I came home from the mid-term exam, my mother asked me how I did in the exam. My precious son said, I didn't fill in a question. My mother asked me what this is, baby.
Zi said that there is a question about how much is 3 times 7. I don't care. I filled in 15. My mother sprayed the water she just drank on my father's face. Hey ... I'm too big.
Big!
My father asked me how school was. Dear son, "the father asked," is your female teacher satisfied with you? "
"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied."
"How do you know? Did she tell you herself? "
"Of course, dad. The day before yesterday, she said to me,' If all the students are like you, I will leave school at once!' This shows that I have completely
Learned. "
My father's brain. Now! @#$# @! $$#@ @
One day in math class, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? , I said I don't know. The teacher asked me to ask. I asked my mother who was cooking to let me out. I asked
Dad, dad will watch the ball again and shout' cool'. I asked my sister, and she sang until the baby. I asked my brother and he said on the phone; I am outside
Waiting for you.
The next day, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? I said; Fuck off, the teacher slapped me, I yelled, the teacher called me a loser, and I called me mean.
. Old saying; Get out. I said; I'll wait for you outside. Our math teacher suffered from hypertension again on the spot and fainted. .....
When primary school has Chinese class, all Chinese teachers in the school go to listen to Teacher Ni's class. Teacher Ni wrote a word "Bei" on the blackboard and asked me, "This word
Do you know him? I answered "no", so Teacher Ni began to enlighten me: "Do you have a bed at home?" I answered "Yes", "What's on the bed?
? ""summer sleeping mat ""where is the summer sleeping mat? "
I replied, "My mother", and Teacher Ni thought, this is also true. My mother was covered with a quilt, and then I was inspired: "What about your mother?"
"My dad". Teacher Ni didn't expect me to say this. She made a fool of herself in front of so many teachers and asked anxiously, "What about the quilt?" I answered
Said: "The quilt is on the ground" Teacher Ni was caught by me and got lamb disease in the general hospital! Later, the school changed a teacher and asked us to make sentences. I finished my homework calmly. The teacher was impressed with me. The sentence I wrote is:
Sad-the ditch in front of our house is very sad.
If canned food is not as nutritious as fruit juice.
Naive-it's really hot today. This is a good day for swimming.
Ten points-it's a pity that my sister only got ten points in the math exam.
Relax, I always start with simple things.
Ginseng-the teacher said that we should take part in the relay of the brigade tomorrow, so we must do our best.
Quilt-Xiaoyu's sanitary quilt was stolen.
Lunch-Xiaoming takes defecation as the first thing when he gets up every morning.
The teacher touched my head and said sternly: Go home from school and work hard to strengthen 10. When I got home, I was ready to finish the work assigned by the substitute teacher when there was no one there.
Industry, I went to the toilet and began to paint the walls with feces. The bathroom was painted ten times, and the homework was satisfactory before it stopped. The family came back to scold them, and the next day,
My mother told the principal that the substitute teacher misunderstood her children, and later the substitute teacher was fired. Hey ... I said to myself, "I am very creative.
Ugliness is not my intention. God don't lose his temper. I will live bravely and set off the beauty of the world. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "
One morning in class, while chewing gum, I put my feet on the aisle. At this moment, the teacher said to me, "Please release it.
Spit out what's in your mouth, and then put your foot in "My brain: @ $ # # $ #"
In the days that followed, several teachers suffered misfortune one after another. Fortunately, no one died and there was no big leak. but
My reputation spread like wildfire and I became a celebrity in the city for a time.
However, celebrities also have the pain of celebrities, and I deeply realized this.
When I was in junior high school, the physics teacher asked me in physics class: You say, how to change tracks? Me: According to the Diamond Sutra, if people do this in Yang Shiguang.
Bad things become ghosts after death! It turned out that the teacher was talking about how the satellite changed its orbit!
I was awakened by the teacher when I was sleeping in history class. The teacher asked me, "Who did Princess Wencheng marry?" Little Wang Sheng told me, "Songzan Gambu." I didn't hear clearly, so I opened my mouth and answered, "Song Dynasty cadres." Later, history failed.
One day, I came back from the barber shop to be cool. As soon as I opened the door, all beings exclaimed, "Brother Shuang is coming!" I am embarrassed to scratch my head: "Where! Where!
Just a cool hairstyle. "It happened that the headmaster passed by and solemnly said," You have to pay for a trouser head! "
Our brains are on the horse! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Yeah, it's nothing. I walked to the dormitory and went downstairs from the girls' dormitory. I saw a good friend, blowing loudly.
Shh. Look, I got a cool haircut. On the second floor, a girl immediately put her head out and said, my trousers, you took my trousers! ! ! ! !
The next day, the biology teacher brought a bird wrapped in cloth. Then he exposed the bird's legs and asked the students to guess what kind of bird it was. I am real.
I don't know now, so I handed in a blank sheet of paper. The teacher looked very angry and asked, "Why did you hand in a blank sheet of paper?" What's your name? "When I heard this, I was very angry.
Really rolled up my trouser legs and said, "Now it's your turn to guess who I am?" The biology teacher fell down at once.
My fame has caused me a lot of trouble. For the safety of teachers, all middle schools in the city refused to accept me. no
Road, with infinite yearning for key middle schools, I went to the countryside. Although the conditions in rural middle schools are a bit bitter, there is no pressure from public opinion.
I'm alive and comfortable. However, gold always shines, and the unique silence of rural middle schools did not restrain my outbreak. An accident
Opportunity, I was born again, suddenly rose and quickly occupied the rural market.
One day, I was late, and the teacher asked,' Why are you late today? I said, it was in the morning that I took my uncle's wild boar next door to breed, so
I'm gonna be late. Before the teacher finished listening, he opened his eyes wide and said, "This should be made by the uncle next door." I was puzzled and said, "This is not a wild boar.
no
But the uncle next door is no stranger. "
It was a quiz, and our class was tied with another class after the final. So the host announced the last one.
Decision: Each class draws lots to send a representative. Two representatives will guess the coin again.
The right person asks the wrong person a question. If the wrong person answers correctly, the wrong person wins. On the other hand, the category set in which the correct guesser belongs wins. Tian Ling
Lingling, Lingling, even if this is my job, I can't hide. As a representative, I was drawn, successfully guessed the wrong coin and entered the question-and-answer stage. Teachers and colleagues
The students suddenly became nervous, and everyone looked at me with eager eyes. Teacher Li, in particular, looked heavy and said nothing. I feel the same way
I felt some pressure, but not because of this, but because of my opponent Wang Xiaofo, who was the most powerful "name" in our school at that time.
Teacher killer ",he also saved several human cases. It is said that the last principal was destroyed in its hands. But I still have some basics.
Angry, because in any case, I am also a person who has criticized for some time. The problem begins.
Wang Xiaofo put his hands in his trouser pockets and said slowly, "My mother cooked some eggs in my pocket today. Do you know how many? "
"hey!" There was an uproar around. I don't know why everyone is booing, but I know this question has aroused my great interest. Eggs! I almost
I didn't catch what he asked, only the word "egg". You know, in the hard years in the countryside, there is almost nothing to do.
Yes, there are two eggs. That's really delicious. I seem to see shiny egg whites and yellow yolk. "If I get it right, will you give me a meal?" I have long forgotten what quizzes and class honors are. I'm only interested in eggs, eggs! "If you get it right, I'll give you two eggs." "hey!" There is an uproar again. I saw the other classmate's face startled, and the classmates cheered and hugged each other to celebrate the victory. Miss Li also gave me a happy look. I don't know what they are happy about, but everyone is smiling at me. I smiled shyly at them and then answered, "Is it five dollars?"
The students' smiles suddenly stopped, and gradually, the ebb tide generally disappeared without a trace. Another classmate suddenly shouted and laughed. This world
Things really change quickly. In a blink of an eye, everyone was crying and laughing and didn't know what to do. I
I haven't had time to think about what is going on. The meeting was suddenly in chaos. I saw a man lying on his back, spitting blood from his mouth, and then slowly falling down.
Go down.
"Miss Li!"
"Miss Li!"
It's our head teacher! I rushed there, too. I saw the teacher pale, eyes closed and unconscious. "He killed Miss Li!"
It's him! "
"It's him!"
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! Hey! Swish swish swish swish swish! ! !
Angry eyes shot at me like sharp arrows.
My eyes went blank, and a voice came back to my ear: "Duo Long! Close the door! Let the dog go! Idle people will all retreat! "
Later, it was said that Miss Li did not die, but was seriously ill. After leaving the hospital, she saw through the world of mortals and became a monk in Wutai Mountain, and never again.
Teaching.