1, the original text: When a person got lost, he met a mute. He didn't answer, but he made money with his hands, indicating that he would get the money. He was willing to show him the way. This man is going to count money. The mute pointed the way, and he asked, "Why don't you have the money to be dumb?" Dumb: "In today's world, talk if you have money!" "
A lost man met a "mute" who didn't answer. "Dumb" will only give money by hand and show the way. The lost man understood the meaning and immediately took out some money to the "dumb". "Dumb" opened his mouth and pointed to the road. The lost man asked, "Why do you pretend to be deaf?" "Dumb" said: "In today's world, you can talk if you have money."
3. Excerpted from Laughter in the Woods, a collection of signature games in the Qing Dynasty, mostly jokes in the Ming and Qing Dynasties.
Second, "rationality"
1, the original text: officials are the most greedy. One day, two people were arrested (tried) for dysprosium, and the plaintiff gave fifty gold. When the defendant heard about it, he paid double the bribe. The trial, regardless of the reason, draws lots to beat the plaintiff. The plaintiff will make a gesture of counting to five and say, "Small is reasonable." The official also replied with his hand: "Slave, you are right." He shook his hand and said, "He is more reasonable than you."
2. An official is very greedy. One day, he arrested the plaintiff and defendant for trial. The plaintiff gave the official 520 gold, and the defendant doubled the bribe as soon as he heard it. When the court opened, officials drew lots indiscriminately and beat the plaintiff. The plaintiff pointed his finger and said, "I'm right." The official also held out five fingers and said, "Slave, although you are right", and then turned his hand and said, "He is more right than you!"
3, source: rational, pinyin yǒu lǐ, from A Dream of Red Mansions.
Third, "confusion"
1, the original text: A young blind man was involved in a lawsuit and complained that he was blind. The official said, "How can you cheat when you have a pair of white eyes?" Answer: "The master thinks that the villain is innocent, and the villain thinks that the master is confused."
2. A green-blind man was involved in a lawsuit. He argued that he was blind. The official said, "Your eyes are blue and white. What are you pretending to be blind? " The man replied, "You look at me innocently, but I think you are confused!" " "
3. Excerpted from Laughter in the Woods.
Fourth, "pile gangs"
1, the original text: a military attache goes out and loses. Suddenly there is a magic weapon to help, and the victory is great. The military attache knocked on God's name, and God said, "I am the god of stacks."
The military attache asked, "What is the virtue of that young man, who dares to work hard to save the immortal?" God said, "I only feel that you have never hurt me with an arrow in the teaching field."
2. Once upon a time, a military commander went to war and was about to fail. Suddenly, with the help of the magic warrior, defeat turned into victory. The military commander kowtowed and asked the name of God, and the immortal said, "I am a stack god."
The military commander said, "What kind of kindness and ability do I have to ask the stack god to save me?" The god replied, "I only thank you for never hurting me with an arrow when you practice archery on the school playground."
3. Source: Selected from Pu Songling's Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio in Qing Dynasty.
Five, "Tian Jian Zi Chicken"
1, the original text: A rich man has more than one acre, and he rents it to Zhang, and each acre has a chicken. Zhang San hid the chicken behind his back, and the owner of the field chanted, "This field is different from Zhang San." Zhang San quickly offered the chicken, and the owner shouted, "Who would Zhang San be without it?" Zhang San said, "I didn't hear about it at first, but I heard about it later. Why? " Master Tian said: "At first, the chicken didn't say anything. Later, I did it when I saw it."
2. A rich man, who has extra fields at home, wants to rent three kinds of land to Zhang, (on condition) giving a chicken per acre. Zhang San put the chicken behind his back, and the farmer (the rich man) sang, "This field will not be cultivated by Zhang San." Zhang San quickly took out the chicken for him. Master Tian sang "Who won't give it back to Zhang San?" Zhang San said: "I just heard you say that you didn't give me (seeds), and then you gave me seeds." Why? " The owner said: "I didn't talk about chicken (recording) at first, but I did it as soon as I saw the chicken (machine)."
3. Excerpted from Laughter in the Woods.
2. Seek classical Chinese paragraphs and short paragraphs. A scholar in the original text will be seventy years old and suddenly have a son.
Born in age, that is, named age. A little later, I gave birth to another son, who seems to be able to read and learn by name.
The next year, another son was born. He smiled and said, "It's a joke to have a baby at such a big age."
Because of the name "joke". When they were old and had nothing to do, they all ordered to go to the mountains to collect firewood and go home. The husband asked, "Who has more firewood for the third son?" The wife said, "As you get older, you have no knowledge at all, but you have the burden of jokes."
There is a scholar who is nearly seventy years old. His wife suddenly gave birth to a son. She named him "Age" because she was old enough to have a son. Before long, another son was born. He looks like a scholar, so he named him "Xue Xue".
In the third year, another son was born. The scholar smiled and said, "It's a joke to have a son at such a big age." So he named it "Joke".
The three sons had nothing to do when they grew up, so the scholar asked them to go into the mountains to get firewood. When they came back, the husband asked his wife, "Which of the three people has more firewood?" The wife said, "When I am old, I have no knowledge at all, but jokes are a burden." Avoid the original snobs and avoid them every time you come out.
The fellow traveler asked him why, and replied, "Give up my relatives." So many times, colleagues are tired.
Even if I meet a beggar, I will try to avoid him and say, "Give up my relatives." Q: "Why are there such relatives?" He said, "But all the good ones are recognized by you."
There was a vain man who met a passing dignitary when he went out and avoided it. People in the same trade asked him why he did this, and he said, "That's my relative."
This has happened many times, and every time he does this, people in the same industry feel very annoyed. Later, on the road, I suddenly met a beggar, and the people in the same trade also learned to hide from him and said, "That beggar is my relative."
The vain man asked, "Why do you have such poor relatives?" People in the same trade said, "Because all the good things are recognized by you." Villagers who eat olives go to town to drink, and there are olives at the banquet.
The villagers took the spit, which was astringent and tasteless, because they asked the people at the table, "What is this?" The deskmate scorned them with their village spirit: "vulgar." In the name of "vulgarity", the villagers kept it in mind and said, "Today, if you taste the strange things in the city, it is called" vulgarity "."
Everyone didn't believe it, but the man opened his mouth and gasped, "You don't believe it, but now you are full of swearing." A farmer went to a party in town, and there were olives at the party.
The farmer took it to his mouth, which was astringent and not delicious, and asked the person at the same table, "What is this?" Everyone at the same table thought he was vulgar and said contemptuously, "vulgar." The farmer thinks "vulgarity" is an olive name, so he keeps it in mind. When he got home, he said to people, "I ate a strange fruit in the city today, called' vulgar'."
Everyone didn't believe it. The farmer gasped with an open mouth and said, "You don't believe it. Now my mouth is full of swearing. " A person stayed for lunch, and the guest had vomited a bowl, but he didn't add any more rice.
The guest wanted to let the host know, but pretended to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell." Therefore, he said to his master, "The rafters are so big."
The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl and asked the boy to add it. Because he asked the guest, "Does he want geometry?" The guest said, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it."
A man left a guest for lunch. The guest has finished a bowl, and no one has given him more rice. The guest wants to let the host know, so he pretends to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell."
Then he deliberately pointed the bowl mouth at the owner and said, "The rafters are as thick as the bowl mouth." The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl, and hurriedly called the servant to add rice to him.
Immediately ask the guest, "How much does he sell?" The guest replied, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it." Some people are used to telling lies.
Every generation of his servants is round. One day, he said to a man, "My well was blown to the house next door by the strong wind yesterday."
People think that there has been nothing since ancient times. The servant Yuan said, "It's true.
My well is near the neighbor's fence. Last night, it was windy. I saw the fence blowing to the well, but it went to my neighbor's house like a well. One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head."
The public was surprised. The servant Yuan said, "So it is.
My master was eating noodle soup in the yard when a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it a wild goose with noodle soup? "One day.
He also said to others, "the cold family has a warm weather account, which covers the world tightly without gaps." The servant frowned and said, "Master, how can I hide this lie?"
There is a man who is used to telling lies. His servants always lie for him. One day, he said to a man, "Yesterday, a well in my house was blown to the house next door by the strong wind."
Everyone thinks that such a thing has never happened since ancient times. His servant lied for him and said, "My well is really close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was very strong last night, and the fence was blown to the side of the well, just like the well was blown to the neighbor's house. "
One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head." Everyone was surprised and didn't believe what he said.
His servant lied for him again, saying, "It happened. My master is eating noodle soup in the yard. Suddenly, a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it covered with noodle soup? " Another day, he said to others: "The cold family has a top temperature account, which covers the world tightly without any gap." Hearing this, the servant frowned awkwardly and said, "The master has gone too far. How can I tell such a big lie to cover it up? "
The scholar peed on the doll for a long time and was frightened. He said, "The school is coming." The doll peed immediately.
The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I think you scholars are scared to pee when they get off the stage." The scholar sighed: "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's legacy and be elegant;" I didn't expect this school to be so small that it can pass two stools. "
The servant of the scholar's family held the doll to pee, but the child didn't pee for a long time. The servant startled him and said, "Here comes the learning platform."
The doll peed immediately. The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I saw your scholar come to the learning platform, and he was scared to pee, so I scared him like this."
The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's wishes and continue studying;" What is even more unexpected is that this learning platform is good at diuresis and urination. "Afraid of the examinee's original text, the scholar is afraid of the New Year's exam. When he heard that the horse was dismounted from the platform, he panicked and ran to the platform to meet the bearers and complained.
3. Write a humorous joke in classical Chinese (short). A man is extremely stingy. When he met a new upwelling, he deducted money, but he waded desperately. When he reached the midstream, the water washed down and drifted for half a mile. His son looked for a boat to save him from going ashore. The boat asked for money, and he only paid five cents. When his father was dying, he turned to cry for his son.
translate
He is very stingy. Once, when he was on the road, he met a newly rising river. Although he could cross the river by boat, he was afraid to pay for the boat, so he waded across the river regardless. Just to the middle of the river, it was washed down by the water and drifted for more than half a mile. His son is on the shore, looking for a boat to save him. The boatman said that he could only go by boat, and his son bargained for him, saying that he would only give five points. This bargaining dragged on for a long time.
"My son, my son, you can save it in five minutes and not a penny!"
4. Humorous and short classical Chinese, Ji Chang learned to shoot flies and was a good shooter in ancient times. He pulled the bow and the beast fell under the bird.
Disciple Wei Fei learned to shoot flies, but he was more skilled than his teacher. Ji Changzhe learned to shoot at Wei Fei again.
Wei Fei said: "I can't learn it instantly before I can shoot." Ji Changgui, lying under his wife's machine, took the lead with his eyes.
Two years later, although the cone tail fell off, it was not instantaneous. Tell Wei Fei.
Wei Fei said. "Not also, will learn to watch before.
See the big from the small, see the small from the small, and then tell me. "I often hang my hair on lice in Xi 'an, looking at the south.
Between ten days, the sense of immersion is also great; Three years later, it's like a wheel. If you want to see the rest, you can see the hills and mountains.
It is the arc of the swallow's horn, which was shot by Shuo Peng's pole, penetrated the heart of the louse and hung on it. Tell Wei Fei.
Wei Fei danced and said, "You made it!" Translated as follows, for reference only: Gan Fei is an ancient archer. Before the bow was fully opened, the birds and animals fell down.
Disciple Wei Fei learned archery from Gan Fei and surpassed his master. Ji Chang learned archery from Wei Fei again.
Wei Fei said, "You have to learn not to blink before you can talk about archery." Ji Chang returned home, lying on his back under his wife's loom, staring at the shuttle (practicing not blinking).
Two years later, he didn't blink even if he used a cone spike (Jichang's) eyelid. (He told Wei Fei about it), Wei Fei said, "Kung Fu isn't home yet, but you have to learn to look at things-make the small big, make the small obvious, and then tell me."
Ji Chang hung on the window with yak hair tied with lice and came from the south to practice. Ten days later, the lice in Jichang's eyes gradually became bigger; After three years, I feel as big as a wheel.
Looking around, everything is as big as a hill. So he used a bow decorated with the horn of Yan State, and an arrow made in the North Pole shot at the louse, penetrating the center of the louse, but the hair tied to the louse was not broken.
Tell Wei Fei (about it). Wei Fei jumped up happily, patted his chest and said, "You have mastered the skill."
5. Humorous and short classical Chinese can boast.
original text
When a person gets lost and meets a mute, he doesn't answer questions, but only gives directions by making money gestures with his hands as a sign of getting money. This person is metaphorical, that is, he uses it to count money. The dumb man opened his mouth to show the way, and the man asked, "Why don't you have the money to pretend to be dumb?" Dumb: "In today's world, talk if you have money!" "
translate
A man lost his way and met a "mute" who asked and didn't answer. The "dumb" will only ask for money with his hand, and then he will show the way. The lost man understood the meaning and immediately took out a few dollars and gave it to the "dumb". "Dumb" then asked for directions, and the lost man asked, "Why pretend to be dumb?" "Dumb" said: "In today's world, you can talk if you have money."
Excerpted from Laughing at Guang Lin Collection, Laughing at Guang Lin Collection was collected by the owners of the famous brand games in Qing Dynasty, mostly from jokes in Ming and Qing Dynasties.
6. Humorous stories in the original classical Chinese and translation When I was studying classical Chinese at school, my deskmate was sleeping, and the teacher told him to get up and translate. "I'm not afraid of death. There's nothing to refuse a glass of wine."
I saw that the buddy picked up the book and said, "I'm not afraid of drinking to death!" " In the laughter of the whole class, he continued to translate: "How can a cup be?" Everyone was knocked down by thunder. A meat thief went to Beijing to sell meat, stopped to urinate in front of a toilet on the side of the road and hung the meat outside.
Seeing this, the second man stole the meat. Before he went far, A came out of the toilet, grabbed B and asked B if he had seen anyone take his meat from the toilet.
B was afraid that A would see through, so he put the meat in his mouth early and said impatiently, "You are such an idiot! How to hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If you put meat in your mouth like me, is there any reason to lose it? " -Han Weiyuchun's "Laughing Forest" name game Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, is very eloquent, especially good at word games. When he is not the king, he tries to play with the king, a senior minister.
Wang laughed at the name and said, "Your name is Zhicai. What's the point? In my opinion, it is similar to call it' lack of talent'. " Hearing this, he immediately laughed at Wang's surname: "The word Wang is added to the left of the word, 呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄2157
Wang was tongue-tied and embarrassed. On another occasion, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was present.
During the dinner, Lu Yuanming made fun of his surname and said, "The word' Xu' means not entering the people (Wei added' Yu' and' Jin')." Immediately mocked Yuan Ming's surname-the word "Lu": "The word" Lu "means" An "printed a public character as" Lu ",and then matched it with a horse to make a donkey. "
Lu Yuanming was flushed and speechless, and the room was full of laughter. -Old title Sui Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" Bird's Nest and calf Hou Bai later became an official of the Tang Dynasty, often with solve riddles on the lanterns. Hou Baixian made three chapters for everyone: "What you guess must be a visible object; Second, you can't make empty explanations to confuse everyone; Third, if the explanation is finished, but you can't see this thing, you should be punished. "
Then he first made a riddle: "The back is as big as a house, the abdomen is as big as a pillow (the crossbar behind the car), and the mouth is as big as a cup." Everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed right. They all said, "Where is an object with a mouth as big as a cup and a back as big as a room?" There is no such thing. You must make a bet with all of us. "
Hou Bai finished gambling with everyone and explained, "This is the swallow's nest." They burst out laughing.
On another occasion, Hou Bai attended a large banquet. During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for entertainment.
What you guess can neither be strange nor difficult to understand, nor can it be abstract and untrue. Hou Bai replied, "There is something as big as a dog and looks like an ox.
What is this? "People are competing to guess, some people say it's a roe deer, others say it's a deer, but they all deny it. Let Hou Bai tell the answer.
Hou Bai laughed and said, "This is a calf." -The old title "Qi" by Sui Houbai asks for the name of Tianbao. In his early years, the famous secret supervisor He wrote to the court and wanted to retire to his hometown of Wuzhong.
Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated everything differently. When He Zhangzhi left, he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong, and his eyes were full of tears.
Tang Xuanzong asked him what other requirements he had. Zhang Zhi said: "I know that Zhang Zhang has a son who hasn't been named yet. If your majesty gives it a name, I will be honored to return to China. "
Xuanzong said: "Faith is the core of Tao. Blessed people have faith. The son of Qing should be named Fu. "
Know the chapter and thank humbly. It took me a long time to realize. I thought to myself, "The emperor is so happy with me.
I'm from Wu, and the word' fu' is the word' claw' followed by the word' zi'. He named my son Fu, didn't he call my son's paw? -Gao Songyi's "Living in Groups" does not know what poetry is. Ai Zi likes to write poems.
One day, Ai Zi swam between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel. In the evening, he heard someone talking next door: "A song."
After a while, he said, "One more song." Ai Zi was baffled and sleepy all night.
Lying until dawn, * * * heard the man in the next room say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs. Ai Zi thought that the man in the next room must be a poet. He was quietly absorbed in poetry at the foot of the mountain, and he felt respect in his heart. He also liked this man's quick thinking and decided to get to know him.
Early in the morning, Ai Zi got dressed and got up, adjusted her crown belt and stood at the door to meet her. Soon, a peddler-like man came out of the next room, thin and ill.
Ai Zi was disappointed, thinking: With this respect, you look like a poet. Perhaps, people can't judge people by their appearances, and they can't guess blindly. He went up to him and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems." Can I see them? "
The man said, "I'm a businessman and I never know what poetry is." Has refused to come up with poetry.
Ai Zi stubbornly said, "I heard you say' one' in the house last night, and then you said' one'. Isn't that a poem? " Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing: "You misunderstood. Last night, my stomach was upset. Every time I have diarrhea, I can't find toilet paper at night, so I wipe it with my hands.
Diarrhea lasted all night, and my hands were dyed almost six or seven times. When I say' hand', I don't mean the first poem. "
Ai Zi felt ashamed to hear that. -The Word Game of Lao Shi's Essays on Ai Zi Su Dongpo heard that Wang's Essays on Words had just been written, so he went to the office to congratulate him and joked: "In the masterpiece, it is said that' bamboo' whips and' horses' are' Benedict'.
But I still have a question: "I don't know what's so funny about whipping dogs with bamboo?" Gong Jing just laughed and asked, "What evidence is there to prove that the word' pigeon' is changed from the word' bird' to the word' nine'?" Dongpo immediately replied: "The Book of Songs says:' The dead pigeon is in mulberry, and his son is seven', plus their parents, it is exactly nine." Hearing Wang's words, he nodded happily.
It was a long time before I knew that Su Dongpo had played a big joke with him again. -Su Song Wang Shizhen's "Teasing" Three-point Poetry Seven-point Reading Qin once told a story that the poet Guo once passed by Hangzhou and gave Su Dongpo a volume of poetry he wrote for appreciation.
Before Dongpo could read the poem, he began to recite it vividly and read it with emotion.
7. Seek classical Chinese paragraphs and short paragraphs. A scholar in the original text will be seventy years old and suddenly have a son.
Born in age, that is, named age. A little later, I gave birth to another son, who seems to be able to read and learn by name.
The next year, another son was born. He smiled and said, "It's a joke to have a baby at such a big age."
Because of the name "joke". When they were old and had nothing to do, they all ordered to go to the mountains to collect firewood and go home. The husband asked, "Who has more firewood for the third son?" The wife said, "As you get older, you have no knowledge at all, but you have the burden of jokes."
There is a scholar who is nearly seventy years old. His wife suddenly gave birth to a son. She named him "Age" because she was old enough to have a son. Before long, another son was born. He looks like a scholar, so he named him "Xue Xue".
In the third year, another son was born. The scholar smiled and said, "It's a joke to have a son at such a big age." So he named it "Joke".
The three sons had nothing to do when they grew up, so the scholar asked them to go into the mountains to get firewood. When they came back, the husband asked his wife, "Which of the three people has more firewood?" The wife said, "When I am old, I have no knowledge at all, but jokes are a burden." Avoid the original snobs and avoid them every time you come out.
The fellow traveler asked him why, and replied, "Give up my relatives." So many times, colleagues are tired.
Even if I meet a beggar, I will try to avoid him and say, "Give up my relatives." Q: "Why are there such relatives?" He said, "But all the good ones are recognized by you."
There was a vain man who met a passing dignitary when he went out and avoided it. People in the same trade asked him why he did this, and he said, "That's my relative."
This has happened many times, and every time he does this, people in the same industry feel very annoyed. Later, on the road, I suddenly met a beggar, and the people in the same trade also learned to hide from him and said, "That beggar is my relative."
The vain man asked, "Why do you have such poor relatives?" People in the same trade said, "Because all the good things are recognized by you." Villagers who eat olives go to town to drink, and there are olives at the banquet.
The villagers took the spit, which was astringent and tasteless, because they asked the people at the table, "What is this?" The deskmate scorned them with their village spirit: "vulgar." In the name of "vulgarity", the villagers kept it in mind and said, "Today, if you taste the strange things in the city, it is called" vulgarity "."
Everyone didn't believe it, but the man opened his mouth and gasped, "You don't believe it, but now you are full of swearing." A farmer went to a party in town, and there were olives at the party.
The farmer took it to his mouth, which was astringent and not delicious, and asked the person at the same table, "What is this?" Everyone at the same table thought he was vulgar and said contemptuously, "vulgar." The farmer thinks "vulgarity" is an olive name, so he keeps it in mind. When he got home, he said to people, "I ate a strange fruit in the city today, called' vulgar'."
Everyone didn't believe it. The farmer gasped with an open mouth and said, "You don't believe it. Now my mouth is full of swearing. " A person stayed for lunch, and the guest had vomited a bowl, but he didn't add any more rice.
The guest wanted to let the host know, but pretended to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell." Therefore, he said to his master, "The rafters are so big."
The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl and asked the boy to add it. Because he asked the guest, "Does he want geometry?" The guest said, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it."
A man left a guest for lunch. The guest has finished a bowl, and no one has given him more rice. The guest wants to let the host know, so he pretends to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell."
Then he deliberately pointed the bowl mouth at the owner and said, "The rafters are as thick as the bowl mouth." The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl, so he quickly called the servant to add rice to him.
Immediately ask the guest, "How much does he sell?" The guest replied, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it." Some people are used to telling lies.
Every generation of his servants is round. One day, he said to a man, "My well was blown to the house next door by the strong wind yesterday."
People think that there has been nothing since ancient times. The servant Yuan said, "It's true.
My well is near the neighbor's fence. Last night, it was windy. I saw the fence blowing to the well, but it went to my neighbor's house like a well. One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head."
The public was surprised. The servant Yuan said, "So it is.
My master was eating noodle soup in the yard when a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it a wild goose with noodle soup? "One day.
He also said to others, "the cold family has a warm weather account, which covers the world tightly without gaps." The servant frowned and said, "Master, how can I hide this lie?"
There is a man who is used to telling lies. His servants always lie for him. One day, he said to a man, "Yesterday, a well in my house was blown to the house next door by the strong wind."
Everyone thinks that such a thing has never happened since ancient times. His servant lied for him and said, "My well is really close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was very strong last night, and the fence was blown to the side of the well, just like the well was blown to the neighbor's house. "
One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head." Everyone was surprised and didn't believe what he said.
His servant lied for him again, saying, "It happened. My master is eating noodle soup in the yard. Suddenly, a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it covered with noodle soup? " Another day, he said to others: "The cold family has a top temperature account, which covers the world tightly without any gap." Hearing this, the servant frowned awkwardly and said, "The master has gone too far. How can I tell such a big lie to cover it up? "
The scholar peed on the doll for a long time and was frightened. He said, "The school is coming." The doll peed immediately.
The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I think you scholars are scared to pee when they get off the stage." The scholar sighed: "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's legacy and be elegant;" I didn't expect this school to be so small that it can pass two stools. "
The servant of the scholar's family held the doll to pee, but the child didn't pee for a long time. The servant startled him and said, "Here comes the learning platform."
The doll peed immediately. The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I saw your scholar come to the learning platform, and he was scared to pee, so I scared him like this."
The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's wishes and continue studying;" What is even more unexpected is that this learning platform is good at diuresis and urination. "Afraid of the examinee's original text, the scholar is afraid of the New Year's exam. As soon as he heard that he got off the platform, he went to the platform in a flurry. Goodbye.
8. The classical Chinese paragraphs are all directed at me, and the students are seated accordingly.
It's so depressing that students don't come. The joke is probably like this: A private school teacher teaches The Analects of Confucius, and' gloomy literary talent' is mispronounced as' Everyone is equal to me'.
Later, a new teacher in a private school pronounced "gloomy literature and art" correctly, and the students thought that the new teacher had made a mistake and would not come to school. At that time, people ridiculed the poem and said,' Everyone is equal to me, and all students sit.
It's so depressing that students don't come. "-one day.
Who is wrong if the major is not hot? It is too late! "Yu You also sighed and said," I am destined to be a responsible person, suffering from bones and muscles, and the misery of the Chinese Department is just a shame! " His friend shook his head and said, "The misery of China people can be attributed to the injustice of five continents. The absurdity of chemistry often lies in remoteness and the incomprehension of ordinary people. Therefore, the suffering of my bones and muscles is something you don't know. "The other man kept silent, and I managed his endless life. Some people are twice as strong as me. He smiled and said, "My brother's career can be described as fiery, and my wife and children can be described as hungry, right? "My brother is angry when he is beige, and his exports are all surprised." Your career can make a living, but mine is hopeless. Why is it hot? "The other three people have explored, silent for a long time before answering," invertebrate linguistics! " - .
As soon as she approached, the woman suddenly stopped and stared at me. Yu Daoan, "I'm not very handsome"! But when I saw Yi's eyes wide open and her mouth twitching, I sighed, "Am I too ugly?" ? But see the bigger Iraq's eyes, the more Zhang Yue opens her mouth.
I'm afraid I'll always be a real gentleman. I've never offended her, let alone met her. I tried to turn around, but suddenly I heard Iraq shout.
Ah.
Strange. ! ! "。 Yi rubbed his nose and drifted away.
I'm already sweating.