Five apples. Mom took them.
Two, dad.
Three. How much is left? Son: Is this human nature? Don't leave me one!
2. Go shopping with my classmates. A clerk at the counter kept watching us laugh, making our hearts tremble, so he came forward and asked, What are you laughing at? Salesman said: Just now, a thief took out your mobile phone, looked at it, probably thought it was too old, shook his head and put it back in his pocket!
3. Arriving at Watsons, the shopping guide came over: What are you looking for? I'll help you find it. Me: Nothing, I'll find it myself. Guide: You tell me, and I'm sure I can help you find it. Me: Nothing. I'm just looking around. Guide: Are you looking for this shampoo? Me: I am looking for someone. Please help me find it. The shopping guide blushed slightly and said, you ... you ... see if I can ...
4. I just went to the bathroom of the mall and sat on the toilet, and found that there was still the residual temperature of the last person on the toilet seat. I can't help crying. This is the first time I feel warm in this city.
I just walked in the community, and I don't know whose puppy pooped on the side of the road. Xiong Haizi running around next door. When he passed me, I grabbed him, pointed to my father and said, Watch out for shit. He leaned forward and I thought he was going in circles. Who knows this Xiong Haizi stepped on a foot directly and shouted happily: I'm going to be lucky. ...
I want to take my girlfriend to meet my parents. Other girlfriends asked my boyfriend this way: What if your mother doesn't like me? But my place
Idiot girlfriend asked me this way: what about your dad ... like me?
7. After dinner, my wife said to me: You washed the bowl! "I looked at my son and hoped that he would intercede for me. After all, I just bought him a toy submachine gun. My son raised his toy submachine gun and pointed it at me: Go and wash the dishes! Bullets have no eyes.
8. Today, I said to my boyfriend: Honey, I hate long hair. I want to have my hair cut short. What did you say?/Sorry? My boyfriend answered me quickly: no, now only when I see your long hair will others know that I am dating a woman.
9. In high school, one day after school, our subject director wore a special coat and leaned against his motorcycle to wait for his colleagues at the school gate. As a result, a freshman ran over and patted him on the shoulder and said kindly, Master, take me to Jinyang Guang Internet Cafe ... 10. My wife came back from shopping and said that she likes sweets and asked me what happened. I casually said: sour girl. The wife immediately asked, what is sweet? My brain is recovering, bitch ... 1 1. I accompanied my cousin to the driving school to register. It happened that a coach car spontaneously ignited and caught fire. The coach took several students to put out the fire. Cousin said admiringly: this driving school is really sincere, and teachers use real cars to put out fires!
12. When I was in college, a classmate was from the northeast, 1.85 meters.
Nine, quite strong. One day, he made a midnight snack for me to eat. I took a big bowl, which was quite embarrassing. When I got there, I saw a basin of noodles on the table and went to fish for noodles. As a result, the northeast students were anxious: there was nothing in the pot. What is in my bowl?