It is not easy to raise eight sons. Peggy and Mike should not only scrimp and save everywhere, but also deal with the children's problems. If people are now, it is impossible to imagine what such a life is like. But they not only accept the reality frankly and live hard, but also let their children grow up with unique educational methods.
As a mother, I want to share my feelings from the perspective of affection and parenting:
At any stage, children are sometimes disobedient. They become more and more independent as they get older. They pursue their own personality and want to choose their favorite life and work. Coincidentally, what children pursue is often unreliable in the eyes of parents.
Laurence, the eldest son, is the eldest brother in the family. He studied in a seminary and became a respected priest after graduation, which is the greatest pride of a Catholic family. His parents are proud of him, and his brothers follow his example.
Unfortunately, Lawrence, an adult, no longer wants to be a priest, so he plans to drop out of school. Hearing the news, Peggy and Mike couldn't accept their eldest son's decision for a while. My son's childhood dream is to be a priest. Why did he suddenly give up? They can't figure it out.
Lawrence explained that he had changed and was no longer a child. He wants to do what he likes, learn what he wants to learn and experience the world. But dad can't accept it. He thinks that a priest is a decent and stable job, and not everyone has the opportunity to become a priest. It's a joke to give up such an ideal job and experience a miserable life.
The eldest son has made up his mind, and his father and family have to accept the fact slowly. One day, dad drove his eldest son alone to watch the missile test. Dad told his son how he felt seriously and told him that he assembled the missile parts in front of him, but people gave all the honor and credit to the scientist who invented the missile. Their mechanics are just people who take coats for these inventors and are not liked by others at all. As a father, he hopes that his son will get due respect in his work when he grows up.
However, it doesn't matter if my son really doesn't want to continue studying in a seminary or become a priest. Dad also accepts and respects his son's decision, just hoping that his son can listen to some other suggestions, which may help and inspire his son. After all, the son's happiness is the most important thing.
Every child in the family has his own dream in his heart. There are too many brothers in the family, and Timmy (the man) is caught in the middle, which is most easily ignored by his parents. Although he likes to perform outside to win the attention of his friends, he is more eager to get the attention of his parents.
Timmy tried to win his mother's attention through the draft, but his mother severely opposed him. Mother doesn't want him to be humiliated in public and feel depressed when he is laughed at by others. When Timmy hesitated, the eldest brother Lawrence encouraged his younger brother to pursue his dream hard. So Timmy secretly signed up for the performance draft.
On the day of the draft, Timmy lied and went out to participate in the draft. When mom learned that, she and her third child, Frank, immediately drove to "save the scene". At first, Timmy was so nervous on the stage that he sang out of tune. Fortunately, my brother played piano accompaniment in time, silently supported him, and let him regain his confidence and sing aloud. Mom was ready to leave after seeing it, and she said confidently and proudly, "He is excellent." From then on, my mother respected Timmy's wishes and never stopped him from performing.
Every child in the family has his own personality, and Peggy and Mike didn't deliberately let the children change their "bad personality". For example, Lawrence is a responsible eldest brother, Eddie is a kind-hearted person, Frank is an informer, Joey is a "bad boy" with a business mind, Timmy is a little star who likes to perform, William is a precocious musician, Pat is a lovely little warm man and Pat is a baby.
In their eyes, as long as they don't touch the principles and laws, they think that it is a great thing for children to dare to be themselves and it is also worthy of respect. Every child has his own bright spot.
Mike and Peggy respect children in different ways. After learning that his son changed his mind, Mike unilaterally digested and tried to understand the child, and then accepted his decision. Peggy, on the other hand, needs to see with her own eyes that her son can prove his performance ability in order to recognize his performance and respect her decision.
If I were you, I would prefer Peggy's approach, and let the child prove to me that he can do it. Many times, children are more eager to be affirmed by their parents. If the child is really doing well, I will encourage him to continue. But if he can't look straight at himself, I will give him sincere advice to help him learn to recognize himself and then continue to look for what he is good at.
In real life, many parents also want to respect their children's wishes, but they can really do very little. Parents feel that they are more experienced than their children and know what is best for them, but they are most likely to ignore their children's inner thoughts and go against their wishes.
With the progress of the times, people in each era are exposed to different information from the world. Sometimes, what parents have experienced and learned may not necessarily apply to the new era that children are about to face. What children in the future will experience may be beyond parents' imagination. For example, now we can order food, save money and buy things with our fingers. Many elders still can't imagine and can't believe that technology can make life so efficient.
In the eyes of adults, there are only pros and cons. In the eyes of children, there are only willing and unwilling, happy and unhappy. When children are not adults, we should protect their purest and kindest hearts and make them happy as much as possible. Childhood is very short in a person's life, and it passes in an instant. As children grow up, society will force them to weigh the pros and cons. At least, when they are tired and helpless, they can recall the happy childhood they once had and summon up courage to continue living.
Eddie, the second child, broke up with his girlfriend and broke his heart. Stuck in the room all day, curled up in bed, buried his head in a pillow and cried. Dad couldn't stand it any longer, so he went to enlighten him and tell some anodyne truths to cheer up his son. But Eddie wouldn't listen. He wants to take a day off, but a strong father thinks that men should not be passive because they are immersed in love for their children, not to mention that they will not always be immersed in sadness when they are busy at work.
The next morning, my father chatted with his sixth child, William. William told dad that maybe the second brother doesn't need enlightenment, but needs your quiet companionship and understanding. Dad felt very reasonable, and immediately drove to find a part-time Eddie to work with. Eddie finally smiled.
When the child's heart is hurt, although the father can't understand it, he is still willing to accompany the child and try to help him cheer up in a way that the child accepts.
Frank, the third child, is a tattletale, and such a person is not pleasing in the play or in real life. But people are multifaceted, and Frank is the most diligent son of all brothers. He took the initiative to help his mother shop and clean the house, and basically let him do all the chores at home.
In addition, he is also a boy who asks for nothing in return. When the neighbors needed help cleaning the yard, Old Four Joey seized the opportunity to bargain with others, while Frank volunteered to help them clean the yard for free. It ruined Joey's business and lost the money he got, which made Joey very angry. Frank told his brother that neighbors should help each other.
Frank's academic performance is also excellent, especially in science, which makes him very proud. However, no matter how excellent he is in life and study, he has not been valued and recognized by his parents. This made him feel very disappointed.
By chance, Frank helped his brother make props in the theater. People of the same age around think Frank is a very clever man, and his props surprise everyone. For the first time, Frank felt the sense of accomplishment of being recognized and paid attention to.
However, my mother is very opposed to Frank working outside and prefers him to help at home. Frank couldn't resist the grievances and feelings in his heart and had a big fight with his mother, saying that her mother had hindered his life. After listening to my son, I was angry, but I didn't quarrel with him.
The next day, when the mother was waiting for Frank to come home, she told her son that she thought it might not bring you happiness or what you wanted. Mom finally told the child that she would come back if things didn't go well outside, and she would wait for you forever. This made Frank deeply feel his mother's sincerity and love.
Just like Peggy, many mothers are most worried about their children, and it is the happiest and most practical to hope that their children can stay with them. Even though there are eight children at home, Peggy still can't bear to let go of her third child who is almost an adult. She didn't know until she heard his voice that letting go properly was also a kind of love.
If children can go out and do something that can be recognized by others, it will also be a great encouragement for their growth. You can't force your children to stay with you just because you are afraid to re-enter the society, depriving them of opportunities to increase their experience and broaden their horizons.
Children will be independent sooner or later. When they are young, it will be beneficial for their children to try different things outside. They will know that the tolerance of society is far less than that of parents. They must learn to obey the rules, hone their will and change some bad habits in order to better integrate into society and mature.
As parents, they also hope that their children will grow up to be independent, economically independent, live independently and assume social and family responsibilities.
On the other hand, many young people now rely on their parents to find jobs. When you encounter some setbacks in your work, the first thing you should think of is avoiding and shirking your responsibilities, instead of thinking about how to resist the pressure and try your best to solve the problem and turn the situation around. Some parents even encouraged them to escape, overprotecting this adult "child" and making them incompetent. Parents will get old one day. If you help children for a while, can you help them for a lifetime? Will children really be grateful?
When children are young, tell them the importance of rules, develop good habits of life and study, and learn to assume family responsibilities. When they grow up, let them go properly and even push them out cruelly. While they are still young and have strong ability to resist falling, they should accumulate their own experience and learn to be a reliable person.
There are eight children in the family, and the brothers will have their own small groups. For example, the boss and the second are a team, and the fourth, the fifth and the sixth live in the same room, and the feelings are the best. The third child is poor, because he likes to snitch and his brothers don't like to take him to play. Old seven old clung to his mother when he was eight years old.
The eldest brother and the second child are both adults, with the closest age and more chatting. In the face of love troubles, children usually don't ask their parents for help, but talk to their peers. Big brother and second brother sometimes talk about their troubles together, give each other advice and encourage each other.
Old four, old five and old six have lived in a dormitory, and they have deep feelings. When the fifth Timmy wants to raise money for applying for actor selection, he will ask the fourth Joey for advice, and Joey will tell him how to raise money quickly. When Timmy went to see an actor's performance, William, the sixth old man, always accompanied him, and tried his best to help his brother realize his dream, both under the stage and on the stage.
They also like to make trouble without telling their parents, such as hiding snakes stolen from friends' homes in trash cans, but they are afraid of being discovered by adults. In addition, snakes are dangerous and afraid of being bitten by snakes. They tried all kinds of tricks, but to no avail. Finally, William, the sixth old man among musicians, lured the snake out slowly with a flute, and the two brothers successfully returned it.
No matter how good three friends are, there will be disputes. When Timmy accidentally found three people playing on impulse, William and Joey accidentally broke the chandelier. William and Joey are very angry and isolate Timmy. Although Timmy felt deeply guilty and kept apologizing to his brothers, he still failed to get their forgiveness. Later, Timmy got appendicitis and was hospitalized. The two brothers didn't want to lose Timmy and finally forgave him. From then on, Timmy learned never to betray his brother for personal benefit, and his brothers also learned tolerance and forgiveness.
When these three brothers are in conflict, under normal circumstances, their parents will choose to intervene and help them make up. But Peggy and Mike chose to "ignore" and let them try to solve conflicts by themselves, so as to help them grow up, learn to understand each other and "teach" them how to be human.
I really like what Peggy and Mike have done. The children are really calm when facing their arguments. In fact, letting children deal with problems by themselves is also to exercise their ability to solve disputes.
Many adults are not as calm as Peggy, and they don't trust their children to handle it, which will make them lose the opportunity to exercise and easily become dependent. Anyway, if someone bullies me in the future, I will find my parents to solve it; When encountering difficulties, parents also help; If you are in trouble, your parents will take care of it.
In addition, children will contact and cooperate with all kinds of people in school and work in the future. If they know how to solve disputes when they are young, they will calmly deal with disputes in teamwork in the future.
In the 1970s, American politics was quite turbulent. The country will draw lots regularly to let young men go to the front to fight. On the day of the draw, both Big Brother and Second Brother were unfortunately drawn. The eldest brother Lawrence will be sent to the front soon, and the second brother will have to wait for some time.
The boss has a way not to go to the battlefield, and his mother doesn't object, but his father thinks that his son is disloyal to the country if he doesn't go to the front. At the same time, Eddie's girlfriend tried her best to fight her boyfriend. She is afraid of losing the person she loves most. But the second is a simple tough guy. He wants to serve his country and go to the front.
The girlfriend of the second child begged Lawrence to persuade Eddie to be a deserter together. When Lawrence played basketball with Eddie, he thought that if he became a deserter, his younger brother might take his place, and he would soon be called to the front to fight. Lawrence doesn't want his brother to take risks, let alone lose his brother. As the eldest brother, he should shoulder the responsibility of protecting his younger brother, so he changed his mind and decided to go to the front.
On another occasion, Pat, the seventh brother, sneaked into the mailbox while delivering letters with his brothers. When his brothers found out, he was locked in and could not get out. Old Five and Old Six were very anxious, but were afraid to tell their parents, so they had to run home first to get some urgently needed food, water and flashlights for their younger brothers. Later, when the third and second children learned the truth, they immediately took tools to save their younger brothers.
As a big brother, I am doing my brother's duty. When my brother is in danger, I would rather join the army myself than have an accident with my brother. When the younger brother is in trouble, they will not hesitate to reach out and rescue him. Relatives are always relatives, and brothers are always brothers.
Peggy and Mike are just ordinary people. It is not easy to solve the problem of food and clothing for children. I have no spare money to take my children on vacation and enjoy life. The whole family hardly eats fresh vegetables and fruits, but only eats cheap pizza, French fries and various processed foods every day. Wear the big one before wearing the small one. They seldom buy new clothes for their children from outside. At Christmas, the children didn't receive their favorite gifts, and even the gift boxes and colored paper were used for several years.
Even if there is no fresh food, no gorgeous new clothes and no playground, children never complain, but cherish their happiness with a grateful heart. Mothers often educate their children, and it is not easy for fathers to earn money to support their families. We should learn to be considerate and grateful.
Although there is no ideal material life, as long as a family can live happily together, it is also a kind of priceless happiness. Children also know that if they want to get their own happiness, they must learn to fight for it themselves, instead of reaching out to their parents and brothers.
Parents' behavior and attitude will really affect their children's life. As parents, give affirmation and respect when children try to express themselves; When the child is injured, he can listen and accompany in time; When children want to be independent, let go appropriately. Being able to really do this is the most valuable gift for children's growth.
As a child, growing up is not easy. All parents' teaching and nagging may not help, but they really want us to be good. If parents want to feel really down-to-earth, they should learn to handle their own affairs and take responsibility.