Positive humor jokes (hot articles) 1. My sister was eating a bag of potato chips in her hand, and my brother wanted to eat it, so I told my sister that my sister and brother would help you taste the potato chips. This is because my sister carefully took out a piece and put it in her mouth, saying it was crunchy while eating.
The teacher saw a student with cotton in his ears in class and asked if the student was injured. The student actually replied, teacher, didn't you say yesterday that I learned knowledge in one ear and out the other? Then I'll stuff my knowledge with cotton. The teacher was speechless at once.
3. Why didn't the United Nations take a stand on the Diaoyu Islands incident? There are contradictions between small countries and small countries, and once they are mediated, the contradictions will disappear. There are contradictions between small countries and big countries. Once you mediate, the small country will be gone. There are contradictions between big countries. Once mediation is successful, the United Nations will cease to exist. May you be happy!
I express my sincere infatuation to you. Whether I can touch your heart depends on whether you have a heart or not. Please look at my kindness and love, in exchange for sadness or happiness. Do you really have the heart to be unhappy Hehe, I wish you happiness!
Watching TV with her ten-year-old son, an evil mother-in-law drove her daughter-in-law to death. My son asked me: Mom, will you be so kind to your mother in the future? How can you force your mother? No, I mean whether you will force my wife to death in the future! ? .
6. Mei entered the city for the first time and was squeezed into the second floor of a double-decker bus at the bus stop. She looked around and accidentally saw that there was no driver in the front half of the car. She blurted out, honey, people in the city are all cows. Let this iron guy run by himself, it's amazing! ?
7. Listen to the person with the mobile phone: You have been chased by happiness, chased by good luck, monitored by wealth, attacked by health, successfully attacked by sneak attack, and stared at by happiness. Please put down your troubles, weapons and pressure bombs immediately, and give up immediately!
8. A female classmate, whom I haven't seen for several years, changed from a toothpick girl to a big fat man. Today, I met my buddy in the street, and we were all surprised! After a few seconds of silence, a buddy said: Everyone says that time is a knife to kill pigs. How did it become your pig food?
9. You say you are gentle and lovely, you say you have extraordinary temperament, you say you are full of charm, you say you are loved by everyone, you say you have never given up being a new generation idol, and I believe you. I picked up your photo on a whim and made a screen saver for my mobile phone. Oh, my God, it crashed immediately!
10. Language: Weibo is very popular now, and we are going to open a topic called micro-language. Mathematics: Then we call it micro-mathematics. Physics: We call it microphysics. L 1: We call it Micro English. The creature suddenly burst into tears: Nima, I won't play with you!
Positive humor (classic) 1. When the bus stopped at a station, the driver opened the door. Asked the man waiting for the bus? Does it go to Station A? The driver said angrily? Less than. ? Close the door. The man asked again:? Go to Mile Mile? The driver quickly opened the door and said? Can you get there? . The man glanced at the driver and turned away.
Now the bus has two doors, the front door and the back door. One day, a bus arrived at the station, and a man got on the bus from the back door. Someone said with great dissatisfaction: From the front door. ? The man said confidently:? Isn't it popular to enter through the back door now?
3.？ Bitch? Please let me love you, drown your troubles, wash away your confusion, destroy your melancholy, break your cowardice, toss your happiness, ripple your happiness, rebuild your success, hang up your pride, and don't kiss me. All wet things are sweet!
When a beautiful woman passes by a physiognomist, she will stop to count her marriages. Beauty: I want to ask when I can meet my other half. Fortune teller: Do you want it or not? Beauty: Of course it's on time. Fortune teller: Come back after removing makeup.
On the bus, a man touched a woman and the woman glared at him. Then the man touched the woman again and the woman said angrily this time? What are you doing? Men are embarrassed to say? You've been stepping on my foot. You didn't break your mat. ?
6. One day I was on the bus and the phone came. I am a classmate with good grades. I don't want to be in front of him. I talked a few words and said, let's talk about it another day. We're driving! ? As a result, the bus stopped at the right time: Ding Dong? People's Square is here, please get off at the back door! ?
7. The rich man took his silly son to visit the food factory. He said: The production line here is very advanced. When pigs go in, sausages will come out. The silly son asked: Is there a production line where sausages go in and pigs go out? The rich man said angrily, your mother is!
8. Tang Priest stretched out his hand and laughed: Hahahaha! I'm the director! Pig Bajie laughed with a big belly: Haha, I'm Gao Fushuai! Friar Sand pinched his beard and smiled: I am a beard, not a beard! At this moment, the Monkey King's eyes were shining with golden light, and he said, Is old A Zi a grandson?
9. A man always sees beautiful women on the bus and likes to sneak a look at her after getting on the bus. One day, I just stole a look at her, but I didn't expect the fat woman next to me to come over and say to a man? Do you want my phone number? Why do you always sneak a look at me? I have been following you for several days. ?
10. Go to the Internet cafe all night and recall the laziness of being single; Go to the park to enjoy the romance of love; Go to karaoke bars to sing and release the tension of life; Go through the cinema and review the vicissitudes of time. On weekends, I think, my wife calls home for dinner. All imaginations are ruined.
Positive humor jokes (selected articles) 1. Yesterday, I went to the pedicure shop downstairs to wash my feet, which was done by the new young master. The super hand was so strong that it pinched my sister several times. I said it no less than five times? A little lighter? . When I couldn't help speaking softly again, the young man was shy and said weakly: as light as a touch. ?
2. Smoke, keep the poison gas for yourself and the heat for the earth. It's not my fault that the earth is warming, it's all caused by paying taxes according to law. What's wrong with me smoking? I paid the tax. I smoke for money, and you smoke secondhand smoke. That's free. You don't have to pay any taxes. No tax, no right to speak.
In winter, the bus is crowded with people standing. There is a big sister wearing a scarf in front. After circling around the neck, he threw it back and threw it around the neck of the person behind him. Elder sister looked back at the person behind her and said with a smile. Gee, you are like my scarf! ?
4. People in the new era go to work by bus. Men in the new era will be greedy, women in the new era will be wrapped in gold and silver, and puppies in the new era will be more violent than their owners. The job in the new era is very irritating, and it is hard to find a job. He said he would only get a commission, not pay you. I was angry and called him a thief on the spot.
The most annoying thing on the bus is smokers. It happened that a man was drunk when he smoked and spit his cigarette in front of a young lady. ? Can you have some quality! ? There are already many numbers (qualities). Don't you think that smoke is just a number 3?