A boy accused his mother of beating and scolding him in front of all his classmates and friends at the school gate, which made him embarrassed and angry.
Although his mother apologized to him, he didn't feel his mother's sincerity. From then on, he had no respect for his parents, and even beat and scolded them.
Parents don't understand their son's behavior, and the father also accuses them: "Do you do this for such a trivial matter?"
My father said that when I was a child, I was chased and beaten by adults. It's all over. It didn't hurt that much.
The host Martin asked his father, "When were you beaten by your parents?" Father replied: "More than 30 years ago!"
Many people think that things have passed and no harm has been caused. As everyone knows, invisible harm is also harm.
As Martin said: Why do you remember being chased and beaten so clearly after more than 30 years? This is actually a kind of injury.
Martin's words made his father deep in thought and began to think about his son's situation.
It turns out that parents think it's good for their children to hit them. However, in the child's heart, it left a lot of harm.
Susan Forward said: The harm caused by parents is not only immediate. It runs through the years and is deeply rooted in children's hearts like a needle.
Family is the soil for children to grow up. What will those children who have been shot down since childhood do when they grow up?
First, is it really impossible to fight?
Many parents in China believe in the old saying that it is not illegal to beat their children, because that's how they are beaten.
Xiao Lin's father lives in the countryside, and the college entrance examination is a big province.
The competition is fierce. Too many children from ordinary families study hard just to get on the wooden bridge and go to college to change their poor fate.
Xiao Lin's father must have made too much effort to be admitted to Tsinghua under such circumstances.
So he is very strict with children.
Like many parents who have insisted on "stick education" for many years, he also believes that a dutiful son can only be born under a stick if the child is not abrasive.
People say that children nowadays are spoiled, thinking that children are candied all day. In fact, domestic violence is very serious in children's education in China.
In 2007, two professors from China University of Political Science and Law conducted a survey on the phenomenon of "corporal punishment of children", and the results showed that nearly two-thirds of children had been physically punished by their parents.
Second, can corporal punishment correct bad behavior?
Often, we will also hear some reports from tiger mother and wolf father to prove that "the enemy is defeated without fighting."
I once saw a case in which a girl of 13 years old in Shenyang won the first prize in an international youth piano competition, and this achievement was actually achieved by her father slapping her daughter 400 times in three years.
This seems to be a successful example of "conquering the enemy without fighting".
However, a child, especially a girl, will be slapped on average for two or three days. What kind of person will it be?
The marks on the skin can disappear quickly, but can the psychological trauma fade away?
When a girl grows up, she will not only be a "piano player", but also be a wife, a mother and have more roles.
With more roles, how will she face? Is it worthwhile to gamble on a child's integrity and happiness in life with a single achievement?
A study by the University of New Hampshire in the United States found that in the age group of 5 to 9 years old, the average score of children who are often beaten is 2.8 points lower than that of children who are not beaten.
Other research results show that children's emotional intelligence will be negatively affected by long-term living in corporal punishment environment.
Beating and scolding education has "quick management", but it obliterates children's long-term development ability and happy development ability.
Those children who have suffered from domestic violence for a long time have a significantly higher proportion of bad behavior than other children.
25.7% children feel inferior, 22. 1% children are cruel, and 56.5% children are grumpy, which are the potential motives of juvenile delinquency.
Third, "because I was beaten, I lived a life I hated."
"Because I was beaten, I struggled desperately and became extremely rebellious."
This can be used to describe Shu Qi's childhood and adolescence. In the documentary Time Me, Shu Qi said that he was often scolded by his parents when he was a child. My mother often chased her with a stick and chased the whole street.
This made her deeply afraid of her parents and became extremely sensitive, because she should always be vigilant. As long as she hears her father coming home, she should find a place to hide.
When she grew up, in order to rebel against her parents and run away from home, she learned to smoke, drink, fight, play truant and even make money by taking explicit photos to get rid of her parents' control.
Although Shu Qi finally broke the cocoon into a butterfly through his own efforts. But her parents hurt her silently, digesting every midnight dream alone, remembering those pains so clearly and feeling so deeply.
"How I wish I could live a pure life, but those beautiful things are far away from me, and I live a life I hate."
More seriously, when the child was "beaten" by his parents, he secretly vowed: I must not be such a parent in the future, but this is just the opposite.
Bi Shumin said in "Family Problems": Children who grow up in a chaotic and ugly atmosphere are the painful products of fake and shoddy families. They are so young and lack the ability to distinguish, thinking that this is the mode of the world.
Adler once said: Unfortunate people are healing their childhood all their lives, and lucky people are being cured by childhood all their lives.
Children choosing their parents is like drawing lots. If you meet parents who have lost love and patience, being a child is in Du Jie.
The most basic need in life is to be seen.
Finally, I want to tell parents that children who are not treated tenderly will never get out of the shadow cage of childhood unless they learn to love others tenderly.
Please stop punishing the children at once! Respect, understanding, support and help are what children need most now!