Moreover, women are still very weak at this time, and their emotions are often not very stable. At this time, it is completely understandable to ignore men's feelings.
Similarly, most men understand their wives at this time and are willing to take care of their wives wholeheartedly.
However, I found that many women are actually in a position of ignoring men's feelings for a long time, not only during the postpartum period, but also for one year, three years and five years.
Women concentrate all their energy on their children and completely ignore men's feelings, which leads to the feelings between husband and wife becoming weaker and weaker.
A student told me before: "After giving birth to a child, I put all my energy into the child. I didn't realize that I ignored my husband's feelings at all. I just feel that my husband's mood is getting impatient. He doesn't seem to care about me as much as before. "
"Sometimes when he comes back late from overtime, I will unconsciously lose my temper with him. The two of them often get emotional because of these little things. It was not until a friend came to our house to play that she said that she found that my attitude towards her husband was much worse than before, and I easily lost my temper with my husband, and I realized that I seemed to have changed. "
Students reflect on themselves, is it that the attitude towards their husbands has deteriorated in the past, resulting in the relationship between the two people not as sweet as before? When students realize this problem, they should pay attention to their attitude when they get along with their husbands in life, and gradually the relationship between the two will be restored.
The example of students is also a small mistake that many women will unconsciously make, and they will unconsciously ignore the feelings of men. My attitude towards men has deteriorated, and I still hope that men will be as good to themselves as before. Actually, it's unrealistic to think about it. After all, the feelings between people are mutual.
Two: ignoring the contribution of men.
The second reason is that we tend to selectively ignore the contribution of men to this family. Think back, after having children, you quit your job and concentrate on taking care of them at home. Every day before dawn, you are awakened by the child's crying, and at night you hear the child's crying. Even if you are sleepy, you should coax the children.
Besides, you need to cook and do housework. You have long hair and are busy every day, and your life is trapped in that small house all day. You will feel very hard.
Men, on the other hand, work outside, so relaxed, only you work hard every day, so you want to change with men, you go out to work and let him come back to take care of the children.
Because you think it's easy to go to work, not as hard as taking care of your family. But in fact, most men, after the birth of their children, have a double pressure, and his pressure at work has soared.
We often say that a boy suddenly became a man on the day he became a father.
Because it means that he needs to bear the heavy responsibility of the family and give him a sense of responsibility, whether it is economic pressure or life pressure. It's getting bigger.
Men will take the initiative to challenge difficult jobs at work for the sake of their families, and compromise at work for the sake of their families. Think about whether we can leave and jump ship willfully without a family, but with children and pressure, we have to compromise.
When two people choose to form a family, they must bear some responsibilities. Men bear the pressure of work and women bear the responsibility of family life. Both of them pay for * * * with small families, but the family division of labor is different and the pressure is the same.
Sometimes, the fatigue of life makes women selectively ignore the contribution of men, thinking that it is easier to work outside than to take care of children, and they will feel that men's contribution to this family is far from enough.
On the other hand, many men also feel how hard it is to work outside. It is easy for women to take care of their children at home. In essence, two people selectively ignore each other's contribution to the family and only see their own hardships, which leads to the relationship between husband and wife getting worse and worse after having children.
Three: ignoring the management of feelings
Many times, we ignore that the relationship between husband and wife actually needs to be managed with care. Before having children, two people occasionally unconsciously run some sweet moments in life.
For example, on this day of every month, we meet to see a movie, or have dinner together on a memorable day, or randomly draw lots to travel to a city in our spare time, and so on.
Life unconsciously manages the marriage feelings of two people, but after having children, both of them unconsciously ignore these things. You will find that you haven't watched a movie quietly together for a long time, talked all night, and walked hand in hand in the snow. Their life centers are all around the children, but they ignore each other.
Children should not be the reason for two people's feelings to fade. After having children, they can continue to run their relationship.
For example, when the child is young, you can ask both parents to take care of it, and then you can live your own world. When the children are older, you can also plan some activities with them, which will help the cohesion of the family.
Feelings need to be managed, even lasting. When feelings change, we should learn to face them in the right way and improve them.
If you are experiencing the same dilemma at present, you can write to my backstage privately and let me help you solve it. You can also express your thoughts in the comment area and communicate together.