For Shao Hua, the speech of the judge [Bobo] touched him most in the whole debate.
hahaha. We have to give separate awards to the judges in the future.
Bobo said that this debate has obviously made great progress. Last time was the first time. It was a mess. In this debate, the firepower is concentrated and the argument is obvious and clear. Both sides analyzed the basic concepts in the debate.
The analysis of basic concepts is actually a test of kung fu. For example, is this argument profound, accurate and powerful enough?
When arguing that money hurts feelings, there are many neutral views, so it is not very tenable. If you make an argument, you must be clear-cut and unambiguous. This matter needs to be very certain. In this respect, the opposing side has obvious advantages.
At the same time, the objection 123 applies its own personal example, which is very clear and simple. Because debate is a time-consuming process, the best way to make the audience understand your argument quickly and like it is to give a real example, your own example, and improve your persuasiveness.
Well, about the two core points of this debate: money and feelings.
These are actually two modes of thinking. The former belongs to the market model, and rational consideration is more about interests and gains and losses. The latter belongs to social norms, taking into account the interconnection between anyone and the time and energy spent here.
Friends need to be defined. Some friends are good friends and some friends are good friends. You know, the kind where you just say hi when you meet. You don't talk about money with hi-hi friends. You know that.
The act of borrowing money is a contractual relationship.
When you go to borrow money, you know it very well. I will tell him very seriously and clearly what I borrowed money for. Where is the money? How can I repay you? On the whole, you are clear. So, when you borrow money from your friend, you probably know that he will lend it to you. Unless it's really inconvenient
Therefore, borrowing money itself and negotiating money itself are an interaction. This is also an emotional bond.
When it was time to pay back the money, I didn't. Some people will be embarrassed to rush, and some people will not say it directly. After a long time, there will be barriers.
But friends are heart-to-heart In fact, don't be afraid to talk about money and hurt your feelings. You can earnestly urge, give feedback and increase the interaction between friends. This is also an emotional bond. This is not harm. If you are really in trouble, just say that we are friends, and then we can figure it out together and tide over the difficulties together.
The affection between friends is accumulated by time.
What goes in and what goes out is perfect and the quality is conserved.
The students are all young people. In fact, sitting down and having a good debate is also part of the debate. Did the organizer give you a red envelope when you came? I'll buy you one afternoon. Is it 10 yuan, 20 yuan per person? These debaters worked hard to prepare questions, did a lot of homework and communicated a lot. Finally, they braved the hot weather to come here and fought fiercely all afternoon, and they didn't receive a penny. Doing these things will make us feel happy, because we are doing something that belongs to us, about growth and thinking.
Let's forget about money and enjoy life.
Otherwise, we go to work every day, and it's Chichiwa and Qian Qian all day, which has blown us up. We stop to do something that has nothing to do with money, instead of talking about money. Some commonweal things will make us feel happier.
I also held a book club, which talked about philosophy, psychology and art for more than four years. A group of book lovers chatted in it, discussing everything from poetry and songs to philosophy of life. This is a very happy thing.
I believe today's friends are not arguing about who is the first, or which view is right and which view is wrong. On the contrary, we should learn to think about ourselves and life from a more open, inclusive and growing perspective.
There is still a long way to go in Xiu Yuan. Let's cheer together.
02
Shao Hua's response is:
I woke up and thought about it again. Bobo said that our argument was not deep enough, probably because it hurt our feelings from the perspective of talking about money, so we didn't talk about it.
We have been talking.
This question @ Ling Jun Thornton? I was warned, but I missed it. I had an idea at that time, saying that we admit that talking about money hurts feelings, but even if it hurts feelings, we still have to talk about it, because we believe that our friendship can overcome this injury.
Our feelings can break through the boundaries of not talking about money, the boundaries of possible injuries, and the boundaries of comfort zones, and enter a frank state. We pay more attention to courage and growth, not just because we are afraid of getting hurt.
We pay more attention to the whole process of exploration, opening up and integration with friends. I have many such personal examples.
Unfortunately, this debate has never considered the angle of time.
I felt very opposed to this argument at that time, and I was going to say it when I exchanged positions. In fact, there is a Mobius ring between the front and the back, so don't be afraid. There may be a new world of expression that spans the past. This is the biggest inspiration for me from this debate.
I thought of it, but it was considered a negative view at that time, so it was not used in a positive view. What on earth prevented me from using it in the square? I must realize and reflect slowly.
But I know how to play in the next game. Thanks for Bobo's advice.
End and best debater @ Ding Yuxi? Yes, I talked about the solution of money hurting feelings and borrowed it from a third party. I am not satisfied with this answer. Later, I thought the ideal answer was to talk about it even if I knew there was a risk of hurting my feelings. Talk about it, talk about it fully, and talk about it sincerely.
Don't be afraid of getting hurt.
Go forward bravely in repeated injuries, risks and difficulties, and believe in yourself and your friends.
In this way, we can make all the opposing sides support the positive side. The specific operation is still difficult. Keep training.
Bobo: Many opinions and ideas. If you look at them in a long time line, you will immediately know whether they are true or not.
Yes, I used to write articles and often mentioned time. See, Chipper said that time is often mentioned. Hurting feelings, not hurting feelings, is itself two kinds of statics on the time node. It will actually change. It is also necessary to recognize the existence of any country. From hurting feelings to not hurting feelings, this is a process called growth.
Some students mentioned that someone has been asking me for money. Will it hurt him if I borrow too much?
I want to say that it is of little significance to discuss each situation separately from specific issues. The significance of this debate to me is that I understand that whether I talk about money or not, I have my own boundaries, my own feelings and my own position.
If you can control it, you will be free.
03
Ling Jun Sandel: I think I always argue at low latitudes.
If you haven't really met anything, you can idealize and cut everything with a scalpel.
Talking about money hurts feelings, you can look at the photos of Evergrande boss Xu who went to Hong Kong to talk about money and play bridge with those big bosses when he was most short of money.
Shao Hua: I like what you said. Don't cut everything into distinct lines. You have me and I have you.
Breaking other people's obsession is also an obsession. The debate itself is a question of borrowing power. You have me and I have you. It's like the Mobius ring.
Liu Xiaodong: Debate focuses on principles, and there is no position! Because in the debate, the position is given by others, either by drawing lots or by specifying.
In this process, if your position is too strong, you can't accept the position of debate.
Y: There is no standard answer to this question. The purpose of the debate is to make everyone think more comprehensively. Received an unexpected score.
M:+1. I didn't visit to find out if it would hurt my feelings, because in my heart, I already had the answer. What I want is more opinions to improve my worldview.
C: I also want to talk about my personal practical examples, because I have been unable to turn around recently. I borrow money to solve the problem of not borrowing money from my friends, and I always wonder if it will hurt my feelings. Then I might as well borrow some existing platforms to do it, so as not to entangle myself or measure it for too long.
Really, in fact, the interest on borrowing these now is not very high, but it solves the problem very well.
So finally, I want to make a point. If IQ can't solve the problem, it may be emotional intelligence. If you can't solve your emotional intelligence problem, then you should find an expert third party to help you solve it, instead of sticking to it yourself. Different societies have different professions. I believe that more similar things can be solved in the future.
For example, now you can buy a car by installment or by loan. Do you still need to borrow it from your friends? Do you care if people don't charge interest?
If I am in trouble, I would rather pay more interest than always be so embarrassed.
04
Brother Bing: If you have an extremely close lover in college and later work in a different place, you have to break up for various reasons (but everyone knows that you still love each other). Five years later, your lover needs 50,000 yuan for emergency because of his wife's tragic accident.
Unfortunately, suppose your savings are only 50,000 yuan and you are going to Europe for a holiday with your current boyfriend next month.
At this time, he borrowed money from you. Do you want to borrow it or not?
Shao Hua: No.
1. The previous relationship is the previous one. What I am more concerned about at the moment is my emotional and economic problems with my lover.
There are many ways to deposit 25 thousand, such as credit card, flowers, loans, and other friends between us.
3. If unfortunately, the way of 2 miles can't solve his difficulties, I can only say that I respect my boyfriend's choices and feelings more than my ex-boyfriend.
Of course, the above is only my absolutely rational view. In fact, I can't be so indifferent to the old love. I think I will communicate with my boyfriend at the moment and discuss and solve this problem with him. Because traveling to Europe, saving money and spending money together are two things for my boyfriend and me.
If I want to use and influence this part, I will deal with and face the problem with my boyfriend.
Brother Bing: OK, thanks for thinking and sharing. I have the impression that you were positive yesterday. "Talking about money hurts feelings"? If the other party gave this example yesterday, "If you don't lend it to your ex-boyfriend, won't it affect your previous feelings?" How would you respond?
Shao Hua:? Nobody asked this question.
Once the feelings, is once. Cherish the present and cherish the people in front of you! Now, my feelings are the most important.
Bing Ge: If you ask now, how will you respond?
Shao Hua: To be honest, I will be unhappy, too. It's been five years! ! Don't you have anyone to borrow money from? ! ! Have you considered my feelings on such a sensitive topic as borrowing money from my ex-girlfriend? ! ! How I feel now! ! ! If you once loved me deeply, how could you be willing to put me in an unkind and unfair place? ! !
(The play is online)
Bing Ge: Once, feelings were feelings. Then, if you borrow this money, you will hurt your previous feelings ... and talking about money will hurt your feelings! I'll jump back to the debate now. ...
Shao Hua: Even if you hurt your feelings, you can talk about money. Even if it hurts feelings, it is ok.
Other netizens also joined the melee: I want to ask, does it hurt your feelings to talk to your parents about money?
Shao Hua: Maybe, maybe not. Specific analysis of specific problems. Even if there is the possibility of injury, it doesn't affect us to talk about money. We talk about feelings because we have a farther goal.
That is to pretend to be forced.