A fan told me that he said he was a "three-minute fever" and couldn't resist the temptation!
Many people are also like this, knowing what their problems are, and their self-discipline is poor-persistent laziness and intermittent efforts! I also know the importance of self-discipline-countless facts and cases prove that self-discipline is one of the essential elements of success and one of the core elements.
But most people are still trapped in this "three-minute fever" cycle, and it is difficult to extricate themselves! Because humans generally have the following three characteristics:
Most people can't cross this spell, and the success of a few people is to overcome the imprisonment of this negative psychology, so that life can get different degrees of successful experience. From a certain point of view, most people's greatest helplessness and sadness is:
How big is the gap between self-disciplined people and non-disciplined people?
For those who are not self-disciplined, "three minutes of heat" is the limit!
If you force him to be self-disciplined, you will kill him. He will feel uncomfortable, extremely painful, and will have the feeling of confrontation and resistance. Self-discipline is a kind of "unwilling" thing, and self-discipline makes me very painful!
For self-disciplined people, "I don't know how old I am when I am happy" is called exceeding the limit!
If you don't let him be self-disciplined, you will make yourself very uncomfortable and miserable! Self-discipline is a kind of "I am willing to spend money to buy", and self-discipline makes me happy! Cai Zhizhong, a master of Chinese studies, once said, "I sat in a chair for 58 hours, and then I accomplished one thing, that is, I made a four-minute TV title."
"Three minutes of heat" PK58 hours did not leave the chair!
Why does self-discipline cause such a huge gap?
To postpone this problem and dig deeper, we need to know the mechanism and reasons behind self-discipline. Knowing this clearly, it is not difficult for us to understand why a person who is not self-disciplined can only keep "three-minute fever".
Below, let's disassemble the four reasons of self-discipline in detail.
Some people say that some people are naturally self-disciplined? This is a lie!
But as Messi said in a brand communication advertisement: "I am not born strong, I am just born strong!"
Studies on self-discipline and behavioral genetics show that about 40% to 56% of self-control comes from genetic influence. Richard Dawkins, a British biologist and professor at Oxford University, also wrote in the selfish gene:
So some people are born with self-discipline. Is it really a lie? First of all, logically speaking, some propositions that people are born with self-discipline are valid. Because the proposition adds preconditions, "some people" is a different and bounded concept, not an absolute concept. Let's see what the reality is like.
For example, my neighbor's eldest brother, who grew up with me and is nine years older than me, moves a small stool every morning and studies lesson preparation in our public yard. Later, he was admitted to graduate school and went to work in Hong Kong.
However, all his self-discipline behavior does not come from the discipline of his parents. Parents with low sports culture can't teach him anything about being a man and doing things. To this end, many neighbors and elders said enviously: "You are a child who really makes adults worry and learn consciously. Unlike my children, they fight and scold, but they don't like studying and don't do their homework well ... "
Let's look at another example. A child from Gu 'an, Hebei Province, was admitted to Tsinghua. Someone asked his father who was selling corn in the street, "How did you educate your children and get such good results?" Father replied ridiculously, "I can't eat my own food." How should I take care of this child? This child depends on himself! "
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The third place in the college entrance examination was admitted by Tsinghua, and I listened to his father, a vegetable farmer, telling me how the tyrant was tempered.
Some people are naturally self-disciplined, and there are more or less such people around us. The difference of objective things and the genetic advantage of a few people are themselves the law of power formed in the evolution of natural species! As Luo Yonghao said: "The biggest inequality between people is probably the intelligence gap!"
But innate self-discipline is not the only law, and there is a second reason for self-discipline.
It doesn't matter who you are, but who you are with.
Man is the product of the environment! Someone made an image analogy: follow flies to find toilets, follow bees to find flowers, follow rich people to earn millions, and follow beggars to beg.
With diligent people, you will not be lazy; With activists, you won't sink; With a wise man, you are different; Only when you are with a better person can you reach the top.
Growing environment often plays a decisive role in shaping a person's self-discipline consciousness!
/kloc-robert owen, a famous industrialist and philanthropist and the father of modern personnel management, once put forward:
This thought is vividly reflected in the allusions of China traditional culture "Meng Mu moved three times". Mencius' mother took great pains to move to three places in order to give her children a really good educational environment.
"Those who are near the ink are black, and those who are near the ink are black" also said this truth. If a person is in a self-discipline atmosphere for a long time, most of them will be affected, forming a "passive" self-discipline consciousness, which will be transformed into an active self-discipline consciousness over time.
In the decisive role of the environment, the core influence comes from the example set by parents to their children. Children are influenced by their parents' self-discipline behavior since childhood. They imitate their parents' behavior and make them form a self-discipline habit in an "unconscious state". This is exactly what the whole education circle has achieved at present-parents are their children's first teachers, and their role models are their children's future.
The role of environment and the power of example do not have the reliability of 100%, and the third reason is self-discipline.
People's degree of self-transformation is extremely low. Without education, there is no need to exist, and there will not be so many articles and books, which earnestly persuade people to be positive and achieve self-transcendence.
To give an extreme example, the tiger mother who caused a sensation in the media before, Cai Meier, a Chinese professor at Yale University in the United States, used various high-pressure means such as curses, threats, bribes and inducements to force children to develop a harsh self-discipline and asked them to work hard along the path chosen by their parents.
For example, once, a 7-year-old girl was forced to practice from dinner until evening because she couldn't play a piano piece well. She was not allowed to drink water or go to the toilet. This harsh educational method was written by Chua Mei-er as a parenting book called Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother. Once it was published, it immediately set off a great discussion on the educational methods between the East and the West all over the world.
How are they now?
The eldest daughter entered Yale Law School at the age of 22 and aspired to become a prosecutor. In the meantime, he entered the United States Army, and now he has graduated from Yale University with the rank of second lieutenant. I got all "A's" in school, and I also started my own family education company, Huzai Tutor.
For Tiger Mother, this kind of compulsory and punitive "violence" education is anti-human to outsiders, but it is undoubtedly successful for her and her children. But this is only the victory of the "tiger mother" parents, and it is not universally applicable to the public, let alone "painting a tiger according to a cat"!
This requires parents to have a halo of success, ability, knowledge, and so on, so that they can have the capital to adopt a compulsory self-discipline approach to cultivate their children.
Otherwise, how much control parents have, how much fear children have.
Under the pressure of parents, it will only be counterproductive, resulting in a child's extremely rebellious character and even tragic consequences. Studies have shown that children living in fear may have the following consequences:
As a result, children have serious personality defects in adulthood, and what is more serious is that this personality is highly hereditary.
Therefore, we can't completely exclude the "compulsory self-discipline" education method. Although the "tyrannical" compulsory self-discipline education method of tiger mother is not worth learning from most people, it is necessary to adopt appropriate and reasonable means of "compulsory self-discipline".
In addition to these three reasons for self-discipline, there is a fourth reason. This is the highest state of self-discipline!
Epiphany is an instant understanding, an instant change.
With the change and growth of time, environment, self-demand and other factors, based on the "inspiration" of someone, something and some thinking, individual consciousness suddenly understands something essential in life, awakens itself and produces self-discipline consciousness. Self-discipline epiphany can be divided into two forms:
What is the self-discipline of passive awakening?
Many people have this experience: someone around them suddenly seems to be a different person, and the bad words and deeds in the past have become orderly.
Why has this person changed so much?
Let's explain a real case: before the first year of high school, my cousin was naughty. This is his "professional skill" at school. He doesn't study hard, and his grades count down in the class. He was often beaten by my cousin for this, but he still went his own way. It's harder than making children self-disciplined!
Until one day, the child made another big disaster at school. My cousin, who is busy with work every day, comes home and accuses his wife of not disciplining her children well. There was a fierce quarrel between them and my cousin hit her. Seeing that his mother was wronged, the child shouted at his father: "If you have the ability, come at me and bully my mother!" Then protect the mother, and the two mothers and children cry bitterly. ...
Then a miracle happened. After the baptism of this matter, the child began to study hard. In less than half a year, he went from the penultimate in his class to the first 10 in his class. After this knot was opened, the whole family entered a harmonious track!
As for my cousin's beating his wife, it is wrong from the legal and ethical point of view. But things in the world are so wonderful and unreasonable, and often they all finally achieve the "right path". A "domestic violence" has solved the long-standing "contradictions among the people" caused by the "powder keg" of children not studying.
This example well explains China's Taiji thought, the logic of the transformation of Yin and Yang, and the negative things are not all negative. When negative things develop to a certain extent, they will produce a "pole", which is probably a kind of empowerment, which can change the past characteristics of things and develop in a positive direction.
That is, what Lao Tzu said, "misfortune is a blessing." Don't think that all bad things are bad results. Bad things turn into good things!
"A Dream of Red Mansions" said: "You can't gain wisdom if you don't do something!" This is also the case, and this matter, in a practical sense, must be a major event in order to bring real wisdom to people!
During World War II, Bonhoeffer, a famous German priest, wrote in his posthumous "Letters in Prison":
Only in the face of death, great sadness and misfortune can people lead us out of the ordinary circle of life and produce the inner call and the power of action.
To sum up, a person's mental model has been upgraded by leaps and bounds under the impact of huge external forces. Just like the updated version of the mobile phone, the running function and efficiency of the next second suddenly become more powerful.
This is the self-discipline of epiphany, a power of passive awakening.
And what is self-discipline of self-awakening?
Sneak into the night with the wind, moisten things silently. Self-discipline is precipitated. People's brains unconsciously realize the importance of a problem, and their cognition has changed, which has contributed to positive changes in behavior. As a friend of mine understands self-discipline:
This is the self-discipline of epiphany, a power of self-awakening.
With the influence of the external environment and the upgrading of the internal mind, when the two blend and accumulate to a certain extent, the "inexplicable" confusion suddenly becomes clear at a certain moment, and there is a feeling of "turning on the floodlight and telling the truth"; From an old, solidified and depressed order, it suddenly broke into a brand-new world full of fresh vitality.
In the final analysis, it is the process from quantitative change to qualitative change, just like a frozen river. However, with the temperature rising in spring, it broke through the critical point of 0, and the frozen state of the river was immediately broken, and it began to crack, and through the cracks, it began to accept fresh sunshine and air.
To sum up, in short, people's self-discipline can be divided into four reasons, and each reason is a variable combination of a series of complex and uncertain factors.
Therefore, in the adult world, "it is better to change yourself than to be led by your own nature", which is easier said than done! Forcing yourself to be self-disciplined is simply a "fantasy" for most people!
In the workplace, if your superior forces you to be self-disciplined and complete your work tasks with high quality, you should be grateful to him (her) instead of complaining about why he "abused you thousands of times". As someone said, if you should thank the person who once pushed you from mediocrity to Excellence.
Abstract of article
Dialectically, we can understand the four reasons of self-discipline as a whole and in essence. They are not completely separated from each other and exist independently.
In fact, everyone has their own genes, and the difference is only a matter of how much. What we need to do is how to stimulate the potential of this gene and not let inert genes get the upper hand. For an undisciplined person, if you want to change yourself, you can't ask from the heart, you can only break the wall and be reborn.
Iron will not be tough by itself, but iron and iron can be tough. It needs to be polished with a grindstone to make iron sharper and sharper!
Epiphany is hard to find, and it is impossible to accurately predict the time. If a person wants to change himself and grow self-discipline, he must rely on external forces and exert himself to achieve self-breakthrough! The first thing to seek is not self-discipline, but initiative:
Under the influence of these two factors, with the upgrading of individual self-awareness (cognition, emotion, thinking and will), a person can truly form a strong habit of self-discipline and become a strong person!
Relevance reading
Most people's regrets are the price of self-discipline! Become the person you want to be and cultivate five self-discipline.
Laziness is the root of poverty! Form these six habits of micro-discipline in the second half of the year, and lazy people will be saved in the future.