Maybe you have encountered some great pressures and challenges recently, such as moving and so on.
Tiger is the ruling class and powerful class in China, just like the expropriation government. In order to protect the villagers, explaining (such as moving) is not your own business. Killing a tiger will definitely not kill anyone in reality, but you have such determination and killing heart. The police said it was illegal to kill a tiger. In your opinion, the police and the tiger are on the same side (as it is). Needless to say, asking a lawyer to defend himself shows that in the face of such a powerful class, lawyers can't ignore it and do nothing. You can't find your way home, which means that in your heart, you have gone a long way on this challenging road. You are alone, without more help, understanding and support, and feel helpless. When you go back to school, you are actually going back to childhood, because you can't find your way home in your dreams, and growing up is very troublesome, so it's not as good as being a child (in fact, we are all the same, I hope you won't have to face so much trouble if you don't grow up), so there is no need to explain later.
To be honest, I can't give you any advice. I'm sorry I can't, but I must remind you that your conscious determination and possible killing will bring tragedy, just like when you face the sea, people are nothing at all. So, relax, stand a little further, take a look at yourself from a distance, take a look at your home, take a look at your life, and maybe you can find some methods that suit you best. Good luck.