Landlord, why bother? Your life is a late bloomer. Although you are an idealist, you are smart, charitable, firm and steady, pursuing a sense of security, enjoying a dull life, and understanding that dullness is a blessing and connotation, and your satisfaction with the spiritual world exceeds that of the material world. Your heart is full of ideals and ambitions, but now you are too ambitious to succeed, and you have become too arrogant to improvise. You are just immersed in your dream world. As a result, you lost all your friends and missed those chances of success. In fact, you won't emerge until middle age, because you won't know the true meaning of life until middle age!
Although your personality is full of enthusiasm and lofty ideals, you like to stick to your own views. Although you have the courage to solve difficulties, it is difficult to realize your dream because of your lack of adaptability.
Although you are versatile, popular and appreciated, you are easily bullied or cheated.
Personally, I suggest you practice Buddhism, such as Zen or Tantric religion with advanced life theory to balance your shortcomings. Death is an escape, and it is useless to escape. Even if you want to die, there is endless hell waiting for you. Why are you holding on to this? Even if people all over the world die, you have to live. Why? Because you are alive, you have the meaning of living! This is Buddhism!
There are flowers in autumn, the moon in spring, cool wind in winter and snow in summer. Life often does the wrong thing at the wrong time. When I was a child, I wanted to grow up. When I grew up, I expected to be young and carefree. Unmarried people want to get married, and married people want to get divorced. So people live in pain. Why can't people enjoy marriage when they get married and divorce when they get divorced? Just like seeing western medicine want to eat Chinese medicine, Chinese medicine wants to eat western medicine, and people often fail to do so. Therefore, if people want to be enlightened, they should enjoy flowers in spring, breeze in summer, moon in autumn and snow in winter. If we can do these things well, we will have a normal mind of Buddhism. But it is a pity that everyone in the world can't be ordinary and can't do his part in his post, so he suffers. People who suffer just want to do something beyond their ability. Therefore, if you only look forward to the future every day, you will lose the present and suffer. This is a deserter. .....
Finally, let me give you a case. A person wants to seek Buddhism. He asked the master what Buddhism was. The master said "tea", but the man didn't understand and asked again. But no matter how many different topics are asked, the master's answer is "to have tea." What Buddhism is the master talking about? It turns out that this man has walked a long way, so the master thinks that what he has to do now is to drink tea. The dharma seeker has not done what he should do, so he has no normal mentality.
What kind of talents are suitable in life? For example, a husband should be a good husband and a wife should be a good wife. As long as people can do what they should do, they will not have troubles and will be free. If you think your life is miserable now, you must have done something inappropriate!