Tang Bohu: It seems that Brother Zhu lost in the casino again?
Zhu Zhishan: My parents know my brother Don!
Tang Bohu: It is well known that among the four gifted scholars in Jiangnan, Brother Zhu is the most free and easy! The so-called wind blows the eggshell, and wealth makes people happy. This is your motto, isn't it?
Zhu Zhishan: I'm flattered, but compared with my brother Tang's bohemian behavior, I can't keep up!
Tang Bohu: Ha ha, ha ha. It's just, Brother Zhu, you lose a few hundred taels every few days, and when you lose everything, you come for help. There's nothing you can do if you keep doing this, right
Zhu Zhishan: Very insightful. That's why I burned my bridges this time. I lost everything I could in my life once, a total of 302 thousand. I hope my brother Tang Can will draw 30 paintings for me, so that I can pay my debts and save my life!
Tang Bohu: I understand. Water, get out first!
Servant water: Yes, young master!
Tang Bohu: Son of a bitch, do you think this place is a good place? Want 300 thousand 2? No way!
Zhu Zhishan: Come on, it's all my fault. This is my fault. I kowtow and admit my mistake now. Don't think that I lent you a jade ball to satisfy your appetite. Think about it, too. I have saved a lot of money selling paintings for you in recent years. Now the brothers in the street outside say that if I don't get thirty paintings after three sticks of incense, I will be torn to pieces! Help me!
Tang Bohu: Three incense sticks? Hum, don't say that brothers don't take care of you. I will write a couplet for you in your mourning hall. One damn, one damn! You chose it yourself!
Zhu Zhishan: Bohu, don't be so awesome, okay? I swear, if I gamble again in the future, I will let the ugliest woman in the world gang-rape every night until she is in pieces and shaky. Is it okay?
Tang Bohu: Ah! You can make such a solemn and stirring oath? Ok, I'll help you again! Somebody, Four Treasures of the Study, wait!
Zhu Zhishan: Brother Tang is really loyal to the liver, courageous and chivalrous!
Tang Bohu: Cut the crap and take it off!
Zhu Zhishan: Ah! Take off your clothes?
(Tang Bohu paints with Zhu Zhishan's body)
Zhu Zhishan: Are you trying to kill me? It's amazing. Even if we kill it, is it worth it? What's this called?
Tang Bohu: Isn't it spectacular? This is called the eagle spreading its wings and swallowing the sky! This painting is enough to compensate you for 302 thousand. Please don't bother me anymore.
Zhu Zhishan: That's for sure, for sure? But what I admire most about Brother Tang is that he can turn two dots on my chest into flowers, make a tree with his palm, make a stone with his ass, sit on the cloud with his front foot and make a mountain with his back foot.
Zhu Zhishan: Hey, where is that eagle painted on my body?
Tang Bohu: Use your penis.
Zhu Zhishan: As I expected, it was spectacular and enthusiastic. Absolutely vivid!
Tang Bohu: I'm talking about the bug in the eagle's mouth. How can it be vigorous? Stop!
Zhu Zhishan: Huh? Okay, hey, use the hook!
2. Messenger: Tang Bohu! (The messenger and others break into the house and find Tang Bohu eating chicken wings and ask Zhu Qian) Hey, didn't you say he was very ill?
Zhu Qian: He ... He's very ill!
Messenger: If you are very ill, how can you have an appetite for chicken wings?
Zhu Qian: Ah, what's the matter with you?
Tang Bohu: Hey … It's simple, because … (singing) Braised wings, I like to eat …
Messenger: (singing) But your mother says you will go to heaven soon …
Zhu Qian: (Chorus) The sooner you ascend to heaven, the more bitter you will be. If you don't eat now, you won't have a chance to eat again!
Messenger: (singing) Are you really going to ascend to heaven soon?
Tang Bohu: (singing) I'm really going to heaven …
(Trio Chorus) If you don't eat now, you won't have a chance to eat again!
3. Zhu Qian: Because your father lost that year, in today's weapon list, the scholar's sword ranks second, our overlord gun ranks third, and Xiao Li's flying knife ranks fourth.
Tang Bohu: Who is the first?
Zhu Qian: It was Xiao Li's mother who flew a knife, but unfortunately she has passed away!
Tang Bohu: Oh, that's Xiao Li's fucking flying knife. What a pity!
4. Zhu Zhishan: Hey, Brother Tang, look at a slim woman on the bridge, alone. Well, you can demonstrate your method of picking up girls on the spot, so that we two brothers can study hard.
Tang Bohu: Hmm. ...
Wen Bin: This is about everyone's well-being. Are you okay?
Tang Bohu: Duty-bound.
5. Boatman: Boy, you really know the goods. Of all the boats, you chose mine. I'm famous for being quick.
Tang Bohu: Really?
Boatman: Of course.
Tang Bohu: Hey ~ ~ Your boat is sinking!
Boatman: I told you, it sinks quickly.
Tang Bohu: Hey, the play is about to start. Then he was killed and couldn't move.
Boatman: You said you'd give me all the money you sold, and don't cheat.
Tang Bohu: With your wisdom, can I fool you?
Boatman: That's true.
7, miserable person: I am miserable, selling my body to bury my family!
Tang Bohu: Really?
Poor people: Two girls, have pity on me. My family of six died overnight. I'm infected with 10 consumption. You can buy me.
8. Miserable person: (crying) Wang Cai ... Wang Cai ... Wang Cai, you can't die. Wang Cai, you have been following me for so many years, and you are affectionate and sincere to me, but now I haven't even let you eat a full meal. I feel sorry for you, Wang Cai!
(Tang Bohu sees a cockroach and shouts, "Look out!" Sister pomegranate trampled the cockroach to death when she retired from the competition. )
Tang Bohu: (heartbroken) Xiao Qiang! Xiao Qiang, what's wrong with you Xiao Qiang? Xiao Qiang, you can't die! I live alone with you, share joys and sorrows for so many years, and have been teaching you to raise you as your own flesh and blood. Unexpectedly, today, white-haired people send black-haired people!
9. Wu Zhuangyuan: Boy, from today on, you are a humble servant in Washington, and 9527 is your lifelong password. Get to work!
Servant: (singing military songs while running) Work like a dog. You can't scream when you are scolded. This is very interesting. You can't scream when you are scolded. This is very interesting.
10, Tang Bohu: Fortunately, I tried my best to protect my face, and my handsome appearance was preserved. Tonight, I want to find an opportunity to express my love to her and see if Chou-heung has passion for me! (I turned around and got punched in the right eye)
Tang Bohu: Oops ~ ~ Who hit me?
Sister pomegranate: It's me, an absolute beauty, a great pomegranate sister.
Tang Bohu: Is that you? I have no problem with you. ...
Sister pomegranate: I'll fight! (Tang Bohu gets another punch and has a nosebleed.)
Tang Bohu: Why?
Sister pomegranate: Why? Because you should! Now that everyone knows that you have a crush on me, how can I face anyone? I am still dead!
Tang Bohu: I don't mind.
Sister pomegranate: Of course you agreed. Do you want to die with me and be a pair of mandarin ducks? Shit! I didn't promise to accept your love.
Tang Bohu: Sister Pomegranate, you misunderstood. In fact, I respect you as much as I respect my own mother.
Sister pomegranate: Old mother? You fell in love with your mother? God, it's so exciting to do such an outrageous and immoral thing! Come on, I've never tried. I'm a little nervous. Come on! Come on!
Sister pomegranate: (lying on her back) Stop talking and do it! Don't pity me just because I am a flower, push hard!
1 1, Tang Bohu: Hey, are they the four famous prostitutes in Jiangnan?
Four dirty thieves: we are just whoring, cheap in the west and drifting in the north!
Tang Bohu: Wow, yeah, yeah ~, OK! To tell you the truth, I'm Pan An from Yushu, and I'm the little prostitute Zhou with pear blossoms pressing Haitang!
12, Tang Bohu: Sister Ugly, when you find out that you have wronged me, you will be very sad and regret it. Why bother? Follow me!
Chou-heung: Come on! If there are thieves in the house, why don't you tell your wife to come to my room? Don't be a frivolous and ignorant woman just because you have studied for two years. I tell you, it doesn't matter if a person is poor, but he must have backbone and talent, otherwise he will study all his life and be nothing but a waste!
13, Tang Bohu: (laughs) Chou-heung, you are too impulsive, but no wonder, you are still young, but I like it …
Chou-heung: Cross soul-chasing stick!
14: (accompanied by chopsticks knocking on the bowl) Mrs. Shi, a small family, lives near Suzhou. She has a house and a field at home, and her life is endless. Who knows Tang Bohu? He is ruthless, colluding with the government, breaking the law and occupying my big house and my land. My grandfather turned against him and he hit him with a stick. My grandmother called him a liar, but he caught him in the Tang family and raped her a hundred times. Finally, she hanged herself and hated the world. He also kicked my father and son out of the house and drifted to the river. In order to support my father, I had to beg alone in front of the temple. Who knows that Tang Bohu? He is so insidious. Knowing this situation, he sent someone to plot against him and beat my father and son in front of the whole city. The little man was strong and survived. Poor dad died! This kind of hate is harder to fill. In order to bury my father, I had to sell myself as a slave, earn money diligently, and read articles at the same time, vowing to gain fame and fortune, and my enemies will be strong! Since then, Tang Yin's poems have been with me, and I remember this unforgettable hatred! ! !
15, Tang Bohu: Ugly Sister Xiang! What do you think of Hua 'an's character?
Chou-heung: I think ... you are a fool!
Tang Bohu: Sister Chou-heung! Then would you like to study poetry and songs in front of the willow tree with a fool at midnight tonight?
16, staff officer: one township, three divisions, two Li, dare to teach seven or eight nine children without knowing the four books, five classics and six classics. This is bold!
Wang Ning: Yes, why? If you don't give me face, I'm really going to be angry!
Tang Bohu: Let me try!
Tang Bohu: Ten rooms and nine poverty, earning eight hundred and twenty-seven dollars and sixty-five cents, still half-hearted, first-class!
17, Staff: In the picture, the dragon doesn't sing and the tiger doesn't bark. Little buddhist nun is ridiculous!
Tang Bohu: There are no wheels or horses on the chessboard. General, be careful! Staff: Yingying, Yan Yan, Cui, Cui, Hong, harmony everywhere!
Tang Bohu: Rain, rain, wind, flowers, flowers, leaves, flowers, flowers, leaves, flowers, leaves, flowers, leaves!
18, staff officer: ten thoughts, thinking about the country and serving the country!
Tang Bohu: Enjoy the flowers, the moon and the autumn fragrance!
Staff: I am majestic, showing my fearlessness.
Tang Bohu: You are a dirty bitch, showing half your penis.
Staff: I'm a staff officer. Buddhist nun, will the general lose to you? Your family is going to plant trees!
Tang Bohu: Your bathtub will go well with fish!
Staff: Fish and fat fruit are cooked in my stomach!
Tang Bohu: Your mother can cook!
Staff: Huh? ! (The General Staff stepped back and vomited blood crazily)
Tang Bohu: This couple should have a good time. Brother Chuanchang vomited dozens of taels of blood today, which is unprecedented. I admire you!
19, Mrs. Hua: haha ~ I tell you, the cup of ginseng tea you just drank has been poisoned by me: you will die in one day!
Tang Bohu: Haha ~ It's the most amazing poison in the world. Which round will kill you in one day! It should be our Tang family's "half step with a smile"!
Mrs. Hua: Our "one-day death powder" is extracted with seven different poisonous insects and Hemerocallis for 49 days. Colorless and tasteless, killing people without leaving a trace.
Tang Bohu: Our "Smile Half Step" is made of honey, Fritillaria cirrhosa, Platycodon grandiflorum and Saussurea involucrata. There is no need for refrigeration and no preservatives. Besides being highly toxic, it tastes good.
(Two people face the camera and are in advertising mode)
Mrs. Hua: Those who ate our "death in one day" lost their martial arts in one day, and their veins went against the current, and they possessed themselves, and eventually their blood vessels burst and died.
Tang Bohu: Yes! And friends who eat "half a step with a smile", as the name implies, must never walk half a step or laugh, otherwise they will explode and die. It's really a trip home …
Mrs. Hua: Kill people to kill them ...
Two people: (chorus) essential drugs!
20. Tang Bohu: Swallow the world!
Mrs. Hua: There is no smoke without fire!
Tang Bohu: The first type of Tathagata's palm: Beat the cow across the mountain!
Mrs. Hua: replace trees with flowers!
Tang Bohu: Do both!
2 1, Tang Bohu: Sister, I read my poem. What's your reaction if you have nothing to do?
Sister pomegranate: I didn't respond, I was in urinary shock!
Tang Bohu: Do you have a knife?
Sister pomegranate: What?
Tang Bohu: I want to kill myself.
Sister pomegranate: No, talk to my bridal chamber first!