I feel that your heart is still very contradictory. You still can't keep faith in your feelings. You are afraid that if you can't let go, there will be no good result. Don't put pressure on yourself, just let nature take its course. No matter whether you finally marry your boyfriend or not, you don't have to worry, because dreams indicate that your future will be smooth and happy. Maybe if we have more experiences with each other, we will be more mature, know what we want, cherish it more, and let go of the burden in our hearts to "fly freely."
Bless you!