At the same time, you finally regret killing the cat, which shows that you hate the status quo and want to get rid of it, but the pressure is great and the environment forces you to accept it. Although you know this is not the original intention, you have already stepped in and can't go back.
I suggest you relax, chat with friends and have fun. If the study pressure is great, you should pay attention to rest and keep fighting spirit. If the work pressure is high, you should do some exercise properly and go out for a walk with your friends, instead of always facing it alone.
The theory of dream interpretation is for reference only.