Some people say that when you dream of someone, it means that he is forgetting you, and your fate disappears little by little in the dream.
Before that, I never dreamed of him. I even doubted whether I liked him, or I hid this feeling in the deepest place, so that I couldn't find it.
My acquaintance with him is very traditional. I didn't fall in love at first sight, and I didn't meet him on the street corner. He just asked me to a bar and said that he was in a bad mood and wanted to find someone to drink. I pretended to be very old and agreed at once. I didn't even have a decent dress at that time. Even my mobile phones in college are second-hand mobile phones eliminated by my friends, and I have never been to a place like a bar. The reason why I promised to go is that I really want to drink. Yes, I was such a vulgar and stupid existence at that time. At the moment I saw him standing on the road, I flinched and turned and ran, just like being caught by an adult doing something wrong. He gives the impression that he is too mature and steady, which makes me feel like skipping classes in front of the teacher.
I know he's angry, but he's still as angry as he was played. I didn't dare to say a word to him, just silently let him lie on the QQ list. After a long time, I have forgotten how we talked. Only then did I know that he was actually a very nice person. At least compared with me, we are completely from two worlds. I began to be careful, and I had to weigh everything I said to him carefully. Even a book he casually mentioned to me, I will read it all night, and then I will read other materials about this book and other books written by the author, so that I can find a topic and praise him next time I chat with him. Every time he said that only I can understand him, I would be excited to share his thoughts for half a day.
I have forgotten how much I used to hate Zhang ailing's saying that loving someone would be humble to the dust. I even forgot that there was a saying behind that sentence that flowers bloom in the dust. I just love him humbly, and I am afraid of losing all the requirements I promised him, even though these requirements are so shameful to me as a student. As long as he is in a bad mood and wants to see me, he will be there soon. I have lost myself and even want to marry this man, even if I can wash and cook for him all my life, as long as I can be together. He didn't admit that I was his girlfriend, but he said he liked me. I didn't put this in love rat, but I didn't do it well enough. Only by working harder to improve yourself can you be worthy of him.
So I went to a junior college and paid my tuition with my only scholarship. This money should be my graduation internship. I knew that once I graduated, I couldn't ask my parents for another penny, so I went anyway. It was very cold that winter, and the teacher's words made me fall into an ice cave. "The major you apply for may only accept the corresponding major this year, and you may not be admitted, but you can try." Back to the dormitory, the phrase "Don't contact me again" on my mobile phone made me very tired, and I really knew what despair meant. I can't accept the teacher and I can only try until the end, but my only belief has collapsed.
I stood on the cold ground, and the person who said that he loved you yesterday became a stranger today. I thought the love I worked so hard for was finally working out. I couldn't accept it. I rushed outside barefoot. I am going to find him. Yes, I can't accept the world without him. It took me two years to realize that I was a joke. It turns out that people's tears can fall like this. It turns out that people's hearts really hurt. The man came suddenly and left in a hurry. I didn't go to see him, not because I didn't want to, but because I suddenly found that I didn't know where he was. That moment was really a big dream. He took me to his community, but I sat in the park of the community all afternoon, still encouraging myself. Next time, he will take me to his house. He told me that he worked in a bank, and I didn't ask which bank. I think this is his privacy. He didn't take me to meet his friends. I just don't think I'm good enough to lose his face. After all, when he calls in fluent English, I can only act like a fool. Just like at the moment, I can only call him black. I begged him not to delete me, at least to leave a thought. He stopped replying to me, and this man suddenly disappeared from my world, as if he had never been here.
The next day, I didn't catch a cold, but it was like losing my soul. I started walking by the lake, trying to say something. After eating for three days, I vomited for three days, and I couldn't even drink water. I am so useless that I have stress disorder. I don't know what to do. I can only walk from day to night and no one can help me. Finally, on the fourth day, I left this cold city. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, as thin as a dry weed, and silently told myself that I could get through tonight and have a good rest tomorrow without suffering.
I embarked on a journey in such a mess, a road that can't be turned back. I didn't leave myself a penny to buy a plane ticket or even a train ticket. My life is not over yet, and there is no warm experience. I have been a person since I was a child. I really put my feelings on others and long for a home of my own. I am no longer dependent on others and humble. Perhaps, as Viola said in the seventh year, because of the lack of family care, coming to this world so early to explore happiness and hope for others will eventually encounter hardships, and will lose youth in the short term and life in the long term. The sea is beautiful in winter, and the water is clear but cold. I really caught a cold this time. The sea water is too salty, much more salty than tears. Later, I stayed in that city. I got my first job, my first mobile phone and my first lipstick. I shuttle through the crowd without expression every day. Overtime killed all my feelings.
Then he met me, too. This time, I chose to refuse, refuse to start over, refuse his hug. I can't afford to gamble. I know the result is still the same. He won't marry me, and he won't give me a home. I can't be so lucky to survive. I choose to stay in a warm city. Probably it was really cold in winter, and that year was the coldest. I dreamed about him a few days ago. We haven't seen each other for many years, and we won't meet again. This is the only time I dreamed of him. In my dream, I spoiled him like other girls, and it was the only time I spoiled him. This may mean that fate is over, and then we will die of old age!
I know, dreaming of you, you are forgetting me. Just forget.