Introduction of Ouka brand:
Ouka is a very useful tool, which plays an extraordinary role in exploring a person's subconscious. At the same time, Ouka is widely used, not only in one-on-one psychological consultation, but also in children's potential development, parent-child activities, psychological salons, dream interpretation and so on. I tried to use it in the exchange of advantages a few days ago, and I will share it with you today.
Review: Before starting, review the definition of dominant communication.
What is dominant communication?
Dominant communication refers to the communication based on the dominant perspective, seeing the positive side from the point of conflict/adversity, improving the relationship with the other party and reaching an understanding.
Next, let's get down to business:
Steps:
Step one:
1 Who do you want to communicate with? What is the problem you want to solve with your partner? What happened when this problem happened? Remarks: The target audience may be your boss, colleagues, partners, parents, friends ... You want to improve your relationship with TA and achieve better cooperation, but it is difficult for you to achieve your goal due to some personality characteristics and behavior habits of TA.
What do you think this problem has to do with TA's personality and behavior habits?
3 From the dominant point of view, do these performances of TA have a positive side? Let's see what we can find in these cards to represent her ability.
The second step is to listen to the feedback from the common partners on the above three questions. Maybe you can ask your partner what advantages I haven't seen.
The third step is to discuss the last three key issues:
Under what circumstances will this problem not occur? (Special observation)
5 how do you guide the other party to use the advanTAges of ta to solve the problem?
How to use your own advantages to solve problems?
YY Question: Think about these three questions, then choose the card in your heart and answer the questions.
Partner: The person I want to communicate with is my grandmother.
Recently, something has happened. I accidentally broke my mother's cup, and I began to cry. When my grandmother found out, she criticized me and told me not to cry. She said I was too old to do this, especially when I was working in the future. But I just want to cry, and my dad has the same attitude as my grandmother. This makes me very unacceptable. I don't think I am free at home at all.
YY:
Although she did it for your own good, she didn't consider your feelings and your needs. No matter how old you are, you will always be a child in front of them! I can't even cry, how humbled I am!
The partner smiled happily: Yes. I know they love me very much, but I also want to have my own free space. I feel so uncomfortable at home.
YY question:
Let's look at grandma's advantages and positive aspects with a dominant eye!
Flop:
Seeing this card, I felt a great sadness rippling between us, and my partner suddenly shed tears-losing my mother in my early years was not only a blow to myself, but also to my grandmother and father, who suppressed too much in the process of raising her. This is the way they are used to-that is, being strong and forbearing. They advised their granddaughter not to cry because it was their way of loving themselves.
They hope that they can be strong and grow into an independent person in the face of ups and downs.
I saw the dominant force. Although I am strong, I feel warm at the moment. With their love, I will feel very safe.
YY question:
What do you think this problem has to do with TA's personality and behavior habits?
They are not good at expressing their feelings and hearts, but only express their love with reason.
YY Question: Under what circumstances would you not have such a problem?
Partner: When you are emotionally stable. When the family is happy. When working and chatting with her.
YY question: How to guide the other party to use the advantages of TA to solve the problem?
Partner: I can leave her for a while and talk to her when I am quiet.
YY Question: How do you use your advantages to solve the problem?
Partner: I don't know how to solve it.
YY: Well, you have already done the test. What are your strengths?
Partners: learning ability, action ability, goal ability.
YY encouraged: Give it a try.
Select a card:
Partner: I worked hard and passed the tour guide certificate. This is what they have been waiting for. My family wants me to find a good job and live a good life. I hope I can work early and share some for them. We have the same goal.
One more:
We all laughed when we saw this card.
My partner shared: I usually find it difficult to express my feelings, so why do my feelings always have problems? Now I finally understand and learn from my family. This is what I want to break through. Interpersonal relationship is my weakness!
Q: "Great! Knowing this, you can try to break through. "
Partner: I don't know
YY: You can coquetry with her! She loves you very much.
Why is she so worried? Do you know why?
Partner: I just don't think they trust me.
Question: What can you do to make them trust you?
Partner: I can tell them, "I definitely don't do this at work."
YY: What else?
Partner: Please allow me to be free when I get home. I will always be a child in front of you.
YY: Really?
Partner: OK, I'll try.
YY: Wow, what a great action! Come on!
Partner: Thank you, I feel so happy!