Uncle Sam, I count the days when you left me, from midnight to dawn. Seven years, eight years in a few months. I remember that the season you left was summer, so now I don't like summer very much, because there are too many unhappiness and depression in summer. Sanbo, I don't know, when you decide to devote yourself to the cold river, will you think of us and look back? You put it on the river bank and accompanied you to ride the "Phoenix" bike for more than ten years. Your temper is still so stubborn and smelly, you need to change it, really. I don't know exactly when you left, and I don't have the courage to ask. I only remember that it was very hot that day. I just returned to the dormitory after dinner. A classmate who just came back from the village quietly called me out and told me the news that you were leaving. I cried at that time, I really cried. I didn't go to class all afternoon, and I didn't receive the message that adults told you to leave. Therefore, in this family, without you and your news, everyone is avoiding and forgetting. I can't forget, in every sleepless night, your face, sometimes blurred, sometimes clear, more and more clear, faint stubble, adult tanned face in the hot sun, tight face. It turns out that some memories can't be forgotten, and some pains can be put down without pain.
Uncle Sam, I didn't go back to Tomb-Sweeping Day this time. That was the first time I didn't go back in more than 20 years. First of all, it's a long journey. Second, I don't want to go back. I think when I grow up, I can leave and see my world alone. You don't have to worry about me, but bless me, you know. I have made up my mind to see you many times, but until now, I haven't. Forgive me, okay? I have been to the temple where you stayed many times. It's next to the West Lake. I dare not see you, I really dare not. I went to see you a few days after you disappeared, not crazy. At that time, I was too young to understand. Did you see me when I passed you? Are you trying to stop me? Let me stop. Father, they said, let you stay in the temple and listen to the voice of the Buddha, let you transcend and resolve your resentment. But I know you won't like it there. You must still love the land where you have grown up and worked hard all your life, even if you can take a look.
Uncle Sam, who should I hate and say? You, or your parents, are relatives on one side and relatives on the other, and they are all elders I can't interrupt. I haven't met my grandparents. From the day I was born, I didn't know them and didn't enjoy having them. I don't know how they raised you, and neither do I. However, is it necessary for the little things and things between brothers? You have to leave a wound. Those rotten wooden signs are too important, more powerful than the living. Uncle Sam, have you seen grandpa and grandma? Give my regards to them. Don't drink so much, don't smoke so much, don't play cards occasionally, and don't touch the work of lottery. My major now is also that of your brothers, but I'm not interested. It doesn't matter if you don't like working with my father. Now, do what you like. Don't worry, no one will say anything about you.
From this season to summer, snails are growing, and I suddenly miss the days when you got up in the dark early in the morning and picked them up and cooked them in the sun, so that we could pick snails from steel roots and sell them. Although there is not much money for you to drink, smoke and play lottery, you always give me a lot of pocket money. I like sitting on your bike and riding me to the town to see the floating colors. There are so many people, and you always buy me snacks. You will ride me to many places and let me see many scenery I want to see. I like you snoring when you sleep. Let me shave. I like to spoil you. I like the smell of water when you smoke and light a coal fire. When the teacher punishes me, you go and bring me back. I don't want to forget, really don't want to forget, but I have forgotten now. I'm afraid I will soon forget your face and your story. Why didn't you leave a photo? Why?
Sanbo, your bed, which I used to sleep in, was taken down and lost after you left. This is our custom. I think you know, you will lose everything, so I didn't keep anything to commemorate you. Sanbo, when a classmate was smoking a few days ago, he took out a coal lighter, which was so exquisite that you lost your silver-white memory. I grabbed it for a long time, but I didn't get it. Sanbo, when I was young, I spent more time with you than with my parents, because my parents were often away from home. I am used to being with you, and I really like it. Second brother is still disobedient, and I don't know what to say about him. If you were still here, I don't know if the result would be like this. But you don't have to worry, we are all grown up, we have to believe him, he will change, if not now, it should be soon!
Ok, Sanbo, I don't want to say so much. The more I say, it will only make me sadder and miss you more. You should live a good life there and find your happiness. I hope you can find it, bless you and bless me at the same time.